Are you reluctant to invite people to your house, in case they're jealous ?

I do live in a house that people generally say wow when they arrive. We have had one or two jealous school friends over the years, and didn’t pay too much attention to. They were ten/eleven at the time so why would we. Kids tend to choose nice friends that do not measure each other in this way. My friends mostly all live in lovely houses too, so not an issue.

Well obviously this is how it should be but that is not the question

I really don't like having people in my house anyway, regardless of where I lived.

I remember selling something and allowed the person to come in the entryway and she just had the biggest amazed look on her face and then she took out her phone and asked if she could go around and take pictures of my house.

Then I took an Uber ride home one day and as we pulled into the entrance of the estate, he kept saying this is a really nice area and he repeated it several times and then when he pulled up in front of my house he asked me several times, you live here? I suppose I was dressed really casually, t-shirt and leggings.

I guess I just found the over the top gushing about my house a bit embarrassing more than anything else.

This is a fair point. I hadn’t considered it but indeed I see that people might be jealous if they came around to our house. Of all that extra free time they must think I have since I clearly don’t spend it cleaning or tidying.

Why are people saying this thread is ridiculous? These are genuine experiences. Most people are jealous fuckers. The

^

Totally agree

MN vs reality eh

I definitely don't put my camera on for work, put it that way

Wallpapers all the way. It just happens that my office overlooks the neighbours garden, which looks like a golf course. Our house isn't actually that fancy

I can relate to this, so you’re not alone 💖 also working on it :(

No. The end.

A number of years ago I bought a nice house. Certain people suddenly became very spiteful towards me. It was clearly because they were jealous.

I pointed out that they had been on £10k vacations to Disneyworld etc for god knows how many years, while I had no vacations because I was saving for this house. They had probably spent the same amount as me. But they were still spiteful. So we’re not friends any more.

I have a few friends now who come round to my house and politely say how lovely it is, and they still treat me nicely. Because some people aren’t dicks.

Also it's not just those that have less that will be jealous. People don't like others doing well for themselves.

Why are people saying this thread is ridiculous? These are genuine experiences. Most people are jealous fuckers. The op is not talking about those with small homes.

It's not just inviting people round, but telling people what you've bought or where you've been etc. When my mother bought a new car a work colleague was not happy at all. She was very jealous and her attitude towards my mum changed.

Have people not heard of evil eye?

I would say yes because even family members can show resentment.

Fuck no

I think this thread also ridiculous and should hit it self on the way out it's fancy gate.

What a ridiculous thread.

In my DC's primary there was a huge mix of backgrounds. My DCs went on play dates with single mums who lived in nice but cramped two bed flats in new apartment buildings, but also to six bedroom million pound houses.

It didn't matter - they were mostly all nice people.

Yes. We sold a normal sized house in London zone 2 and for some reason I don’t quite recall, ended up buying a massive house . DH LOVES it, but he’s also partial to a bit of boasting and bombastic behaviour generally. I’m often a bit embarrassed. DD(17) is reluctant to have friends back unless they are really close friends, because people do comment. Also people openly ask me things like ‘why have you got such a big house’. It’s nice to live in though so swings and roundabouts.

We lived for a couple of years in a house provided through OH's work. It was a nice house, but it didn't have so much as a garden as 'grounds' + a paddock + a large orchard. I invited a group of old work friends from where we had last lived over for the day and one of them spend the whole time going on and on about the house and how great it was and how great it must be to live there, etc. It became quite awkward and I was embarrassed feeling it was overshadowing the other women. Afterwards they told me that, when they pulled in, her chin hit the floor and she spent the return drive banging on about the house and how lucky we were. It wasn't even our house!

I didn't invite her back. So that's the only time it was an issue.

Everyone I know is better off than I am. I'm happy for my friends who have big houses. If I had a big house I would assume they felt the same.

It's not the big house that leaves an impression. It's the people.

Never thought about it. We've had friends around who are wealthier than us and those who are less so, and didn't think twice about it.

What a lovely comment. Thank you for your constructive contribution.

It depends really. My youngest DC went to a village hall nursery in a really mixed up part of town - I naively invited his whole group of about 20 for an end of term play date + put some effort into laying out garden toys thoughtfully and getting nice afternoon snacks sorted.

we live in a nice rural area 5 mins drive out of town - it is a lovely house but seems much grander than it is on first appearance because it has quite imposing gates + a back lawn that backs on to fields.

it clearly upset people that I hadn’t told them my house was ’fancy’ - I think quite a few of them felt that because I drive an old banger I was somehow deceiving them or pretending to be something I’m not. It definitely made some relationships frostier than they had been.

I am more discerning now - I don’t not invite people because I’m concerned that they’ll Treat my children differently. But I don’t have groups I don’t know over. I want to share my lovely space with people - I literally planned the layout so I would have a house that we and our children would enjoy having friends over - but I am mindful about how I talk about my house in advance sometimes (‘it seems like it’s fancy because of the gates - but no code - it’s just to keep the dogs from escaping”) and I try to be thoughtful about being a good host - part of that is making sure my guests are comfortable.

It’s a (hugely privileged) but sometimes difficult-to-judge line to walk sometimes between not bragging, but also being honest about how fortunate we are.

I think it’s probably a pretty rare person who would really judge a lovely house - but I can understand how people might feel a bit taken aback if it doesn’t fit the narrative they feel they’ve been given by someone.

Yes. When I went back to work 20 odd years ago, I invited a couple of work mates round after work. It was all very informal and we had had a bad day. One turned quite nasty and had a dig thereafter at every opportunity. They had seemed so nice.

Before that, really arsy comments from one community midwife and there were a few snarky comments from a few primary parents. It stopped when the DC went independent.

I am very careful at work now. Colleagues don't know where we live, much about the DC (grown up now) or what DH does.

I would think it was the opposite. I am careful who I invite in general, I don’t just want anyone in my space. If my house was horrible (like my first ever flat was awful) I was very hesitant to invite anyone. Now that I have a nice place I tidy beforehand and feel happy inviting people over - again, not just anyone.

My DD was invited to a sleepover (friend a) along with another friend (friend b) the other friend (friend b) has a lovely house, very minimalist, nice garden etc, and was so judgy of friend a’s house. She kept asking her where the books were and what she does for entertainment. These are secondary kids.

In my favorite little out-of-the-way beach town in California, the houses right on the beach are nothing to write home about.
Nobody would be intimidated or impressed by them, ever, just by looks alone.
Yet they’re worth $tens of millions.

I was in a $10+million home once that had a creek running through the middle of it - literally through the middle of the house. It was a very modern house and the creek was fake - nothing natural about it.
I thought it was stupid.
Just because you have money doesn’t automatically mean you have good taste. It usually means you’ve got more money than sense.