Are you reluctant to invite people to your house, in case they're jealous ?

I tend not to invite people round anyway.. ours is a 3 bed small 20 yr old house, but it annoys me how people's eyes are EVERYWHERE rather than looking at me as we talk. Lots of my stuff is either what I like or inherited from my family, so no way an Ideal Home type of place. It suits me & I'm happy with it. Other people can have what they liike, too!

His parents one might call them a ‘riff raff’ type.

Seriously, @Femme2804?

Hello! I'm sure I'll be accused of "humble bragging" but I don't like people seeing where I live especially where I grew up. My family came from Scotland over 100 years ago and bought a farm in a now posh area for cheap, they also bought another farm for cheap during the war with a big house. I grew up in that big house and despite my family not having money people would assume I was loaded for growing up there. I now live in a house joined to the farm in that same now posh area and I know that people make comments about it "how does she live there when she only works on a farm?" Etc.

But even if my parents were super loaded and I had a big trust fund I'd still consider it no ones business how I lived. When I meet rich people or hear of them in there huge mansions I don't think they should feel embarrassed. I just feel embarrassed because I've had negative experiences with people who I thought were friends making comments about it and being catty about it.

Weird rant here and I don't think I even answered your question! People will always be jealous of something

This is what worries me!
I'm not worried that people will judge me, but I do worry they won't invite us back to theirs. Or that they'll think we just don't have as much in common if we have such an obviously expensive house.

This. The right, humorous reply to a humble brag question :). Reminds me of job interviews where your greatest weakness is your quest for perfection…

I think this general attitude can be a bit more far-reaching than houses, though. I had a friend who was in my life for about 15 years from uni years onwards. We were both in flatshares, single etc when we met, but eventually I bought a small flat, got promoted, met dh, bought a house, had a child, was promoted again. My friend is single and still in a flatshare. It became awkward because she was very clearly unhappy and resented me for having moved forwards (despite working hard - they didn't fall on my lap). One of the last times we met, I mentioned that I was feeling a bit burnt out at work, and that our dc probably had adhd and that it was taking a bit of a toll on me, and she shrugged it off quite coldly, telling me that I'm still extremely lucky, and just changed the topic. I was borderline depressed and felt terrible that my friend was so cold (and yes, usually we spend a long time talking about her woes). She particularly resented that I had a house, even though it is a small terrace. In London that can be very contentious and I almost never mention that I own a house, unless specifically asked.

No, I’m the opposite, I don’t invite people
to my house because I’m embarrassed, not a very nice area, rented run down house.

B

I will add that it does make me reluctant to have them in my house - I don't have people over because I'm embarrassed of our home tbh

I feel jealous of basically every house I ever visit. They're always nicer / tidier / better decorated / has a husband in it that actually does stuff. Always feel crap about my own when I come home. Never dislike the person who's house it is tho... Good for them I say

TbH I only have one close friend I regularly invite round. She has several elderly and sick cats and I have 3 elderly dogs with health problems.
We have just accepted the ocassional pile of puke or wet patch. Home decor really doesn't matter!😂

I had a 'friend' who I used to be extremely close with come around one day, sometime last year, and out of nowhere just start bagging on a mutual couple friend (much closer to her, more acquaintances to me) about how they'd bought a mercedes and built a giant house with a pool, it was 'so clearly over to top, it was way too much', yada yada yada - so people like this do exist. Also a great reminder of why I distanced myself from this person.

I'm careful about who I invite in because if poor people come they might steal things.

Shall we all just have council houses as housing shouldn't matter in society? Love and friendship is all you need right?

A house is obviously a major financial asset yet on a day to day basis we would not discuss our financial affairs openly (unless trusted). A house is a very visible sign of our wealth as opposed to a bank account. I think therefore we all have issues with our wealth (or lack of) being so visibly presented and this comes across on this thread.

I think it really interesting and the posters saying house jealousy is not a thing are being a bit disingenuous.

It’s not about the house. It’s about whether the families who live there love each other.

I can't really say, as I don't allow ordinary people in the house, other than tradespersons of course.

Otherwise, I think it is a good thing for them to see and have ambition, with the wish to improve themselves.

Unfortunately yes. I’m not even wealthy. I’m comfortable but not wealthy. I have semi detached 4 bedroom house, one time i invited my DS friend and his mum. My DS back then still in year 1. They are so close together so i arranged playdate in my house. His parents one might call them a ‘riff raff’ type. The mother are so jealous and after that his son often ask my DS to buy him stuff or to ask my DS stuff. One day his son took my DS new shoes from school because he likes it. When i ask why he takes my DS shoes, he said that his mum said he can take anything from DS because my DS is rich. I was so shocked. Thankfully DS not play with him anymore now.

IF I lived like that, I'd be far more concerned about what people might think if I never invited anyone over. I'd far rather have them thinking, "LORD, what a beautiful home! Wish I lived like this," than "My goodness, I wonder what they are hiding?" But that's just me.

Hi
I’ll probably get hate for this but here goes…I am a teacher and my DH is a business owner in the construction sector. We live in a desirable area in a very nice house that stands out due to how it’s been designed. Clearly on a teachers wage I would not be able to afford this house on my own. I also grew up on a council estate and have a broad regional accent. When I meet new people I don’t get worried about them being jealous but I get worried that people will think I am a snob or showing off if they see my house or ask me about it. When we were buying it I told people at work I didn’t have any photos because I was worried what they would think. I’ve recently had a baby and I am also very conscious with other Mums I meet as not to sound like I am showing off about the nursery or space we have. I’m sure people will call me out and say this is a subtly brag but I can assure you it is not!

Most definitely

I was -especially with new school parents when our children started in reception.. as they weren't old friends and hadn't seen the "work in progress home"over the years... it definitely didn't look like this when be bought it... one boy who came to visit asked where the other front door was as he thought it was 2 homes instead of just one.. we definitely get bigger quotes for things too..I'm more relaxed now of being reverse judged.. it's a family home that took a LOT of work..

We had a lovely family home, I made friends with a couple of mums from the hospital when I gave birth, I would always invite them round for tea and the kids would play. For some reason they would always offer to come to my house and I was never invited back to there’s, this went on for a year or so, so one day I asked both mums different occasions maybe I can come to yours for tea and biscuit, it be lovely to see where you live. I never heard from them ever again. Talking to a friend who knew both of them from NCT classes said that they live in council house and in a really bad area, makes sense why I was never invited!
it doesn’t bother me where you live and you live, I was interested in making friends.
Now I think twice about inviting parents round for a play date, tea.

I’m reluctant to let people into my house because it looks like squatters live here 90% of the time 🤣

Sorry, please no intention to offend anyone. Just to explain, my friends are a mixed bag, and I'm neither in awe nor think less of where any of them live. One of them lives in the tiniest flat yet is very well off, another is living her means and struggling with the mortgage. So to confirm I really couldn't give 2 hoots about an abode, I don't have a big flash house in a great area and if anyone judged me then that's their problem. Xx