I walked in on my boyfriends friend watching adult content

I'm pretty relaxed about porn but I'd be pretty disgusted with that

Came back here after I’d voted… amazed that 33% of people thing YABU 😵

Ditch these losers OP

I would tell the mate yourself he's not staying at yours again. Your bf doesn't seem to care that his mate was wanking in his sofa 🤮 but you don't need to accept it. Tell him that's the sort of thing you do in your own home and to bloody stay there

I am a man and I 100% agree with this.

Maybe make your boyfriend clean up after his wanking friend?

I really hope you start wanting better for yourself, op. Your boyfriend's reaction to all of this is a massive red flag. Raise your standards and stop putting up with shit behaviour and juvenile drama.

There’s nothing wrong with a 25yo watching porn.

Its a bit distasteful to do it in someone else’s home but not enough that I would go and tell my partner about it.

I do however think these ‘friends’ sound like an absolute nightmare and I wouldn’t want anything else to do with them.

I also wonder if your DP is an issue here too.

Tell your DP he can see his friend whenever he wants but you won’t be getting involved in their relationship anymore.
Tell the gf the same and tell her you will ignore/block her if she keeps hounding you.

It all seems very childish.
I’m 30 and wouldn’t act like this.

I'd be more concerned about the fact he touched your waist like that...

Firstly I’m blown away you’re just glazing past him touching you up.

Your radar for unacceptable behaviour is so far skewed to me for both him and your BF (I’m assuming you’re letting this slide because your BF is equally as immature?)

I’m not that much older than you and pretty liberal, but no, one doesn’t get themselves off on someone’s sofa, that’s basic manners and decency.

IMO, OP needs to wash her hands of this pair of jokers

Frankly, I'd ditch your BF. Two birds, one stone as the saying goes.

Get rid of both of these perverts - your boyfriend doesn't sound any better than his handsy, rape-watching, wankstain mate if he thinks any of that is acceptable.

If you ditch your boyfriend, you’ll be shot of his awful friends too.

I'm more than forty years older than you, OP. Advice from an old woman is 'Sack the boyfriend and the friend. Find some decent people to hang out with.' Don't let people stay in your house.

Aside, you might want to consider how much control it is possible to exert over another adult.

No.

This is your house? Tell your boyfriend that his friend can’t come around any more. Block his girlfriend.

Boundaries now.

Disgusting that he was watching porn in your living room as a guest. Equally disgusting that your bf didn't find it disrespectful and immediately have words with his friend.

Show the friend the door and spend your Sunday explaining to your bf exactly why you will have zero tolerance of that kind of behaviour from either of them, until he gets it.

It is important he gets it. If he doesn't get it do you think you have a happy future with him? Would you have children, daughters, with a man who thinks like this? Do you think he would be a good father and role model for your sons thinking like this?

Yeah he'd never be staying again

I wouldn't start a drama about it but make sure your partner knows he isn't welcome and any "surprise" 2am visits won't have you opening the door

Massively disrespectful

To add, your boyfriend sounds as gross and immature as his friend is. It's quite telling that he thinks you're the unreasonable one in this situation.

FGS, don't be a doormat and put your foot down. Get this pig out of your home and make it crystal clear he's never staying over again. I also find him putting his arms/hands on your waist to be a big red flag. Why on earth would he do that? It's totally inappropriate.

As for his girlfriend, fucking hell, block that woman. Why are you putting up with all this?

It’s completely grim to watch porn on someone else’s telly, in their living room. But that actually sounds like the least bad thing here. The fact that your boyfriend is expecting you to put up with the awful drama of his childish, obnoxious friends is the problem - the living room porn is just one element of a dysfunctional situation. I’d be inclined to ditch your boyfriend.

This - he wouldn't be returning to stay ever!

I would not be happy with this at all. It is very disrespectful to you and I am concerned that your DP appears to enable this visitor. You are entitled to be respected and safe in your own house. I do not think I would have him to stop over again.