To think there needs to be a public inquiry into child development

It might further cement the claim but the problem lies within the people who make statements such as ''parents want a label for the money''.

This leads people to believe that its actually that clear cut.

Some of these kids wouldn't have been in mainstream school and some wouldn't even be living in the community, depending how far back you're thinking.

I think screens for primary age need to be banned apart from TV. And much stronger controls around junk food. And the real elephant in the room is the unsafe environment caused by excessive motor traffic meaning kids aren't safe outdoors any more. Having young kids cooped up indoors all the time isn't easy for parents, who can blame them for resorting to screens, what is the alternative, for people who live in small flats with no garden and no car to access nice outdoor spaces? Obviously no one wants to give up their car or even stick to speed limits, so I don't see this changing

It’s not different, because my kid was just another one complained about and people assuming I was a bad parent and that he was the same at home. It’s also not unusual – I said in my post I was part of many forums and support groups where the same thing was happening, because kids would be whipped up in the culture of the class.

Of course it’s the school/government’s fault if they cannot get a handle of a classroom. Even if it’s unfairly their fault with poor funding, stuffed curriculums, ineffective upper management etc. My child’s old class lost many children due to very poor management and all those children improved once they left. The ‘naughty’ kids most certainly did not have poor parents – they were very diligent and beside themselves with worry. We happen to live in an area where school movement is relatively easy – most children/parents don’t have that option, so many will never really know if their child would improve in a different setting.

Such an interesting thread. And so at odds with many recent threads on various aspects of the discussion on other boards.

Nearly every thread on screens in Parenting descends in a few posts to denial there’s an issue with plonking infants in front of them because it’s a snapshot, parenting is tiring, everyone deserves a break, screens can be educational etc etc.

Try to push back and you’re accused of being smug or a perfect parent, always spat with utter disdain and defensiveness. I remember one post a while ago where someone claimed she played with her baby for a whole 20 minutes a day. She was on maternity so the baby wasn’t in nursery getting engagement from anyone else. A whole 20 minutes. Boggles the mind completely. The other bizarre claim is that you may as well get your baby or toddler on a phone or tablet as they’ll spend their school years using technology. Bullshit. It’s so intuitive, specifically designed to be so, that no one ever needed training on how to use an iPhone.

Lots of parenting is repetitive. No one ever said it isn’t. But even with very young ones some people think they’re above basic interactions with their children for a whole host of odd reasons.

But your situation is different. Your child was acting that way at school because of the environment they were in at school. And this can happen. On this thread though, I’m talking about behaviour at school mirroring behaviour at home. Rarely do you gets child at school who swears, is disruptive and aggressive, who isn’t the same at home. Some may play up at school to fit in with their peers, but that’s really not the fault of the school or government.

Screens.

Everyone knows it, especially the actual biological parents, but they'll carry on letting the screen parent their child, as they are too lazy to do it themselves.

I was thinking about it a bit more and realised that the flip side of this is that mothers and kids are basically unable to do anything right these days. The list of things we Must Not Do is basically infinite. Leaving kids to look at a screen feels a little bit right because it's vaguely educational.

I mean I'm totally against the screen thing and have actually withdrawn my son from school to get him away from constant screen time, but I also do wonder if life would be better if mothers weren't constantly judged for literally everything the do that isn't sticking a child in front of a screen.

The screening is quite limited when you think of all the possible genetic issues. My friend has a son who had no concerns and was born with a brain abnormality. He’s 14 and can’t read, write, do basic self care and will never live independently. He would not have survived in previous times.

I agree. To an the internet actually enabled the lockdowns to happen i.e. facilitating home schooling, working from home, online deliveries, etc. Without the internet, we literally couldn't have had the same kind of lockdowns.

You really can't blame covid for everything as people were giving their infants a screen long before then, schools/teachers were reported declines in behaviour long before, anti social behaviour, thefts etc were increasing long before covid. Just like it was out of town retail and internet shopping which was harming the High Street long before covid, but some people blame covid for that too!!

Thats interesting.

What I don't get with these threads is the general overall lack of acknowledgement of lockdown on everyone.

Not on everyone. Also, all these changes were already happening before Covid. The pandemic just sped it up a bit.

I'm not sure. I have 2 children, eldest is 5 and non verbal autism. I often think am I just a terrible parent? My youngest was parented the same and is flying, far past where she ought to be. I do think the absolute failings in maternity care have a lot to answer for. My eldest had a horrific birthing experience. I personally believe its genetics but these genes are switched on/enhanced whatever you want to call it and that is increasing. I know many many parents who never leave their homes and kids in front of YouTube all day and they don't have special needs so I don't think its as simple as 'poor parenting'.
I do think their has been a huge shift in parenting in general. We don't raise children the same way any more. Where is the village? The comments made about parents having to work constantly etc were very thought provoking for me.
There's also a huge sense of entitlement with some parents that is being passed down. When I was a student, if a tutor phoned home, I'd have known about it. Now a teacher rings home and the parent replies 'well what did you DO, my boy is an angel' after destroying the classroom

I absolutely blame a school for what happened with my child. We moved and they moved school. They had had no problems whatsoever in their last school and immediately on entering the new school turned into a terror. Disobedient, disruptive, impulsive, borderline aggressive. Never at home though. We are routine-based parents who has high expectations of behaviour. We both volunteered at the school a number of times to get some insight and it was run appalling (A ‘good’ Ofsted school). The culture of the class was shocking. This went on for a year before I finally moved them. At the new school the behaviour immediately disappeared, and I mean immediately. And they have never had an issue since.

I joined multiple parenting support groups, school forums and similar in that time to get help and advice and heard the same story again and again. Of course it’s not all children who will improve in a better setting, but even for argument’s sake it’s 50%, then that’s a huge problem. Even 20% of a class will cause a mirroring of unacceptable culture in a classroom, especially when teachers’ hands are tide in how they can discipline.

It wasn't a sudden shift though.

It was already happening and just got very worse. But was already occurring.

And there's a very valid hypothesis that e.g increase in ASC and ADHD referrals got worse post-lockdown because people had more free time during lockdown.

Which will all the restrictions meant more time inside and therefore more time on the Internet, and all the massive misinformation available online, people being led into thinking their DC or themselves have ASC/ADHD/a mental illness.

MN traffic exploded, as did pretty much all Internet and social media traffic.

I work with young kids age 3-5 and we luckily have lovely parents for the most part. But the one pattern I've noticed and my colleagues agree, is a massive underestimation of what a child is physically capable of and overestimation of their ability to reason. I don't know if this affects behaviour later in life, but it's astounding the amount of basic self care skills 3 yr olds don't have at home but learn within a few days. Kids who stand there pointing to a snotty nose instead of getting a tissue, presenting their head or foot for us to put a hat or shoe on instead of doing it themselves. Yet they ask for explanation as to why we are doing this activity, why it isn't snack time yet etc. They are far too young to understand the why answers. Sometimes 'because I'm in charge here and I say so' is an adequate answer.

It helps though. And I don't understand why people are so defensive in claiming that it doesn't help or matter at all.

When it does.

This is true, but isn't it balanced out at all by the increase in screening for conditions such as Downs? I would have thought that would mean less children with SEN being born.

The age of the child is very relevant here.

Up to 3 or 4 years old, a child needs the full attention of adults, not adults on screens.

Presumably you are recalling later childhood, say six years old or more, in which case, yes, being able to play with friends without close adult supervision is essential.

You've got to be pretty extreme now to rebel as adults are falling over themselves backwards trying to prove how down with the kids they are, lol.

This. The Finnish education system simply would not work here. The people are completely different.

We've been teaching a play-based curriculum in Wales for 3-7 year olds since the late 90s. Pedagogy is based on a lack of formal teaching as in Finland. Guess what? Our attainment levels have fallen dramatically. Children are being failed. More and more children are illiterate. It does not work here. For many reasons.

I haven’t RTFT - only on page 8!
But I watched an interesting lecture once on how IQ is correlated with various outcomes. So, on average, the higher someone’s IQ the more they earn, the better their health outcomes and are usually of a healthier weight etc. But the lower the IQ the more children you are likely to have. Your IQ is inherited from your parents and you’ll definitely learn from their environment.

Why? Not only is intelligence hereditary, but if parents have low levels of literacy, numeracy, language skills, don't or can't read, haven't researched child development, don't talk to their children, don't know how to use play, don't engage with their children etc, then their children are at another disadvantage.

Couldn't agree more

Children aren’t being given age appropriate freedoms and responsibility and are missing out on building life skills.
The blame culture that stops parents giving children freedom also stops schools and voluntary groups doing activities pushing children outside comfort zone.
My girlguides did an outdoor trail activity and we were very wary re parents complaining - RA fully, nice village, leaders at strategic points, younger ones in group with sensible 13 yr old etc. First message I opened after was x age 10 has never been out without adult supervision…rest of message was she’d had a great night and wouldn’t stop talking about it!! but it could easily have been other way.
My dc had friends at sixth form not permitted to get train to nearby city but going away for uni. I’m in that uni parent’s facebook group and some of the helicoptering is frightening it’s no wonder the 18 year olds are anxious at being dropped in at deep end.

Then UK DC would be even more fucked since we're taking in part, about DC going into reception at 5 extremely behind.

It's tedious and unhelpful when people try to compare the UK or Scandinavian or Nordic countries.

They're in no way similar.