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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not allow DS to have the colour floor he wants?

116 replies

Nc4ThisObvi · 19/05/2024 06:14

DS is 19, his room needs new flooring.
Going to replace old carpet with laminate. Asked him to have a look on website and out of all the options he chose the 1 thing I hate, grey laminate 😂
I hate grey. I hate grey laminate even more.

He's not contributing to it financially.

I've shown him some other slightly less grey shades, more wood tone with grey but he's not having it.

Its a large room and will cost over £500

AIBU?

YABU - It's his room let him choose
YANBU - It's our house and you're paying, let him choose a different shade

To not allow DS to have the colour floor he wants?
OP posts:
Catsmere · 19/05/2024 14:09

I rather envy you being allowed to replace flooring with your choice in a rental, OP!

BIossomtoes · 19/05/2024 14:07

BrightonFrock · 19/05/2024 14:01

Really? Unless a house is a new build or has been recently renovated, I’d have thought most buyers would replace carpets anyway.

Show quote history

I wouldn’t replace carpet if it was in reasonable condition. What a waste.

Original poster
Nc4ThisObvi · 19/05/2024 14:05

It's rented so resell not an issue.

OP posts:
BrightonFrock · 19/05/2024 14:01

BIossomtoes · 19/05/2024 12:53

I’d have thought a hard floor in a bedroom would put more potential buyers off than a grey one. My first thought would be “How much will it cost to carpet that?”

Really? Unless a house is a new build or has been recently renovated, I’d have thought most buyers would replace carpets anyway.

InSpainTheRain · 19/05/2024 13:53

My kids are 22, they choose the decor in their rooms. I dont even see it that much - will you? Why bother asking if you were going to then say you don't like some options. I'd go with what he likes.

BIossomtoes · 19/05/2024 12:53

I’d have thought a hard floor in a bedroom would put more potential buyers off than a grey one. My first thought would be “How much will it cost to carpet that?”

BreatheAndFocus · 19/05/2024 12:09

Tell him he’s not having grey and that you would have vetoed it if you’d noticed it on the website. It’s horrible and it will put future buyers off and make the room look cold and awful. Go back to the website and choose 3 or 4 you like, then let him choose out of those. He can then choose a rug for his room if he wants to add his own touch.

DinaofCloud9 · 19/05/2024 12:09

If noone goes up to his room then what's the problem with him having what he wants?

Original poster
Nc4ThisObvi · 19/05/2024 12:05

Peonies12 · 19/05/2024 11:45

Your house, your money. But I’d never have given him the choice. Surely he’ll move out soon anyway

Seriously doubt it. I didn't move out till 24 and that was 20 years ago when things were so much more affordable.

OP posts:
TheWomanTheyCallJayne · 19/05/2024 11:48

Say
”oh that’s very millennial of you”
and see if that insult helps him change his mind

Peonies12 · 19/05/2024 11:45

Your house, your money. But I’d never have given him the choice. Surely he’ll move out soon anyway

BIossomtoes · 19/05/2024 11:30

You’re unreasonable to have a hard floor in a bedroom. I’d hate it. I don’t understand why you gave him a choice in the first place if you were going to veto it.

GentlemanJohnny · 19/05/2024 11:28

He will be in that room a lot more than you will. Give him what he wants.

HellonHeels · 19/05/2024 11:18

Either leave it as is until he leaves home, or give him a smaller budget and get him to do the choosing and the project management of getting it fitted.

Then keep the door closed if it's not to your taste.

CHIRIBAYA · 19/05/2024 11:14

Can I offer you a slightly different perspective here? Your son is an adult and needs to experience himself as such. However, at 19, unless you are very wealthy, he is about to inherit or has a shit hot job, he is likely to be living with you for a while to come. This is immediately problematic as adults do not want to feel this dependency. His autonomy will be challenged on a regular basis since he will be aware (and probabluy reminded frequently) that this is your house and your rules. His room will be the only space in your home that he can claim any sense of autonomy. If you however, inadvertently shut that down by imposing your choices on him, it will generate stress (for him). So there are different 'costs' here; the cost to his autonomy or the financial cost of the flooring. When you say he's not having it, what you really mean is his autonomy is not having it; which is healthy. We all need a space we can call our own.

Qwertyyui · 19/05/2024 10:59

I honestly think if it's his room it's his choice. My DD can decorate and floor her room as she wishes as long as she lives here. Yes it's my house but it is her room. If you don't like it don't go in the room. If he's home for a good few years it will need replacing when he goes anyway!

Chatonette · 19/05/2024 10:48

WelshWannabe · 19/05/2024 06:23

I would have chosen 3 options I liked, then given him the choice out of those 3.

Tell him, you're vetoing the grey, and to pick one of these instead.

Edited

This

Enko · 19/05/2024 10:22

If he like you say is a good lad. Go to him and say what you said here.

I really hate the grey. I know right now this is your room but in 5 years you likely will be out and I have to live with it. Can we find something we both like?

Sunshineandrainbow · 19/05/2024 10:21

Nc4ThisObvi · 19/05/2024 06:21

Probably a long time the way housing is these days!

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Agree, so let him choose.

If no one goes up there why does it matter what he likes.

Bumblebeeinatree · 19/05/2024 10:21

You said he can chose let him have what he wants, buy a rug in a colour you like to brighten it up. You don't have to look at it, if it's like my teens were you won't even be allowed in.

Ohwhatfuckeryitistoride · 19/05/2024 10:18

Aren’t you having the same colour throughout? It’s going to look bitty otherwise. Anyway you choose, he chooses rugs.

norfolkbroadd · 19/05/2024 10:18

Laminate in a bedroom is all a bit Mrs Hinch for my liking. Bedrooms are supposed to be comfy and warm places.

WetBandits · 19/05/2024 10:16

Oh I agree! Previous owner of our house put that exact flooring down in the living room and hallway and I hate it, it’s on the job list!

He’s 19 so presumably won’t be living there in the next few years.

BrightonFrock · 19/05/2024 10:16

Nc4ThisObvi · 19/05/2024 09:17

Why wouldn't you?

You have the same flooring and paint in every room? How boring.

Besides he's in the 3rd floor and visitors never go up there, no reason to.

Edited
Show quote history

Then why are you so bothered about what’s on the floor? You want to take the choice away from the one person who has to live with it!

BrightonFrock · 19/05/2024 10:11

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 19/05/2024 06:17

Your house, you’re paying, you choose. A tiny bit of appreciation from him for new flooring wouldn’t go amiss.

Oh come on - what 19 year-old is bowled over with excitement at the idea of new flooring? Flooring he doesn’t even like, if the OP gets her way.

“Thank you SO much for forcing me to live with something I don’t want”.

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