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AIBU?

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Original poster

Concerned about BF who is travelling. No contact and hasn’t been on his phone

108 replies

Sully9 · 18/05/2024 15:36

He was travelling with friends but they’ve left to go somewhere else and he’s stayed in Thailand. No contact with isn’t normal and Today it’s been 21 hours since he was last active on any social media’s. Would you be worried not sure what to do?

OP posts:
Sauvblanctime · 19/05/2024 20:53

Any update op?

Carly944 · 19/05/2024 17:20

It's been less than a day. I find your reaction to be very over the top.

Also , Internet is very different in Thailand.

Wifi/ Internet coverage can be very bad in some areas in Thailand. I've been there.

Of course he's not going to be posting on social media as much as he does when he is in the UK

SOxon · 19/05/2024 17:19

TheresNoFudgeHere · 18/05/2024 15:45

Just checked and it’s 9:45pm there.
Possible he’s lost his phone - can you try and contact the friends or any family, anyone else he may be in touch with?
What about the hotel he’s staying at?

and ring around all the hospitals whilst your phone is still hot

SOxon · 19/05/2024 17:18

JamesPringle · 18/05/2024 18:48

I'm so sorry that you're so cynical. But be kind to the OP please.

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the sanctimony is strong with this one …

SOxon · 19/05/2024 17:16

Mookie81 · 19/05/2024 12:45

Bore off with 'be kind'.
They weren't aggressive or rude, just offering an opinion.

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@Mookie81 ! ! thanks - you can be my wingman any time ! x

MissyB1 · 19/05/2024 14:48

OP I hope everything is ok 🤞

Batshitkerazy · 19/05/2024 14:45

I travelled both solo and in small groups when I was younger in 2017. Splitting up to do your own thing or merge with another group is incredibly common. OP I would put money on him losing his phone or having it stolen. Hope you hear from him soon

bloodyplumbing · 19/05/2024 14:30

Pinkgummybear · 18/05/2024 23:40

Sorry to be blunt but it’s very true. I hope this isn’t the case for you though.

Imagine living with such cynicism I am so glad I'm not you.

KickHimInTheCrotch · 19/05/2024 13:59

BoudiccaOfSuburbia · 19/05/2024 13:43

And women do back pack solo. It isn’t even rare.

The vast majority perfectly safely.

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I backpacked solo in my 20s through India Sri Lanka, Thailand and Indonesia, and various other places, sometimes with friends, often on my own, in 2000-2004. No harm came to me and I would encourage my DD to do the same.

I hate the idea that women shouldn't be able to do this.

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 19/05/2024 13:55

ILoveYouItsRuiningMyLife · 19/05/2024 10:59

So if you were backpacking with a couple of girls you would have one going off on their own? Do you not worry about the safety of that?

A woman backpacking solo is incredibly common. If one member in a group wants to go solo then that’s their choice and they can make that decision. No one gets to say no because they don’t deem it safe.

ClockworkDisaster · 19/05/2024 13:55

Hope you hear from him soon, OP. Please ignore the posts saying he’s probably found another woman - you know him, and if your mind didn’t jump to that then I’d say it was extremely unlikely.

it’s most likely a signal issue. I’m sure he will message you as soon as he gets signal again.

FiveTreeHill · 19/05/2024 13:45

In my experience its really common for groups to seperate, even women, and go off and do things on their own. It's common to fluctuate who you are travelling with or even join a different group of people for a bit

Plenty of people go travelling on their own, again even women. I probably wouldn't do it, but I'm not aghast at the thought of 'girls' going off on their own

Op its probably a tech issue rather than something has happened to him. Either phone lost/stolen/broken or no signal. I would give it more tome

BoudiccaOfSuburbia · 19/05/2024 13:43

Liv999 · 19/05/2024 11:03

Girls obviously yes, he's not a girl though

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And women do back pack solo. It isn’t even rare.

The vast majority perfectly safely.

Anonymous2025 · 19/05/2024 13:37

Any news op

Sugarfish · 19/05/2024 13:32

Hope you hear from him soon OP, try not to worry too much. There could be any number of reasons he’s not been in contact, phone stolen or dead, bad wifi, or he could be having a mammoth sleep.

I used to work in the tourist industry and Thailand and the surrounding countries are very very popular for solo travel and it’s very normal for groups to split up on these routes as well. Does not mean he’s gone off with someone else, probably means his mates are more interested in seeing something that he’s not.

BarcardiWithGadaffia · 19/05/2024 13:10

ILoveYouItsRuiningMyLife · 19/05/2024 10:29

To be fair it’s not the lack of contact that’s making me suspect he’s not alone. Or the fact that it’s Thailand.

it’s the fact that his pals have gone on without him and he has chosen to remain behind. I find that really strange.

I don't find that strange at all, no need to stay with the group if you want to do different things, they are all adults I assume

Mookie81 · 19/05/2024 12:45

JamesPringle · 18/05/2024 18:48

I'm so sorry that you're so cynical. But be kind to the OP please.

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Bore off with 'be kind'.
They weren't aggressive or rude, just offering an opinion.

Teajenny7 · 19/05/2024 11:26

Hope you hear from him soon. It is most likely tech problems.

ILoveYouItsRuiningMyLife · 19/05/2024 11:04

I know. Was just a general question.

Liv999 · 19/05/2024 11:03

ILoveYouItsRuiningMyLife · 19/05/2024 10:59

So if you were backpacking with a couple of girls you would have one going off on their own? Do you not worry about the safety of that?

Girls obviously yes, he's not a girl though

ILoveYouItsRuiningMyLife · 19/05/2024 10:59

So if you were backpacking with a couple of girls you would have one going off on their own? Do you not worry about the safety of that?

ILoveYouItsRuiningMyLife · 19/05/2024 10:58

Fair enough 🤷🏻‍♀️

IHopeYouStepOnALegPiece · 19/05/2024 10:56

ILoveYouItsRuiningMyLife · 19/05/2024 10:29

To be fair it’s not the lack of contact that’s making me suspect he’s not alone. Or the fact that it’s Thailand.

it’s the fact that his pals have gone on without him and he has chosen to remain behind. I find that really strange.

It’s not, it’s really not.

Friends need a break from each other, sometimes plans change and they decide not to got to the next planned place and all but one wants to go somewhere else so they split for a brief time then meet again.

I have met so many travellers who have split with their friend group or groups where someone went somewhere else. To many it’s part of the adventure

palmroyale · 19/05/2024 10:48

A friend who lives in Thailand has said that pickpocketing is a huge issue in some cities there. Is he in a city, OP? Could well have happened to him

saraclara · 19/05/2024 10:41

ILoveYouItsRuiningMyLife · 19/05/2024 10:29

To be fair it’s not the lack of contact that’s making me suspect he’s not alone. Or the fact that it’s Thailand.

it’s the fact that his pals have gone on without him and he has chosen to remain behind. I find that really strange.

As I said earlier, in my long experience of long haul backpacking (solo, and with a friend) it's not unusual at all.

Even the best of friends and travel buddies occasionally need a break from each other, or have different places that they want to visit. Splitting off part way through, or taking a side trip and then meeting up again, is entirely normal and common.