Should I speak to the wife 6 years later?

No she has no idea and this guy is a compulsive liar and a serial cheater.

The only way you could know that is if you have a completely inappropriate level of closeness to the family and have talked to her about it recently!

This shows me that sadly many people out there want just to live a lie. That's not me.

You keep saying that as though it matters. It doesn't. This woman isn't you. It's been six years, this family is nothing to do with you, it's not your job to police it. Do what you've been doing for six years and just stay out of it, mind your own business and live your own life.

It is nothing to do with you!

You would do well to gain some self-awareness OP.

How on earth do you know she has no idea?
That's nonsense. Unless you are talking to her regularly, you cannot know what she knows.

And the very telling part of your latest post is revealing
As I explained above it wasn't just any fling.
For you, perhaps, but for him - yes it was.
If it wasn't he'd have chosen you.
And you don't want to let him get away with it.

I have just regretted that I have let someone get away with such level of deception.

So you want to go after him now?
Can't you see the logic-gap in your thinking?

Maybe you should have had your wits about you more at the time and seen the signs he was married. In 3 months there would have been clues, but you probably ignored them.

You chose not to tell his wife because she was pregnant.
now 6 years on when she has 2 children, you're thinking of telling her.

You'd be happy to wreck their lives out of some misplaced sense of 'justice'.
(And of course she may already know.)

If you're still giving this man so much headspace, you should consider counselling. This obsessing is unhealthy as is the way you can't take any honest comments, and only want posters to agree with you.

For the last time. No she has no idea

You cannot possibly know that for certain.

How do you know she definitely doesn't know? Women generally aren't stupid and if he was as much of a compulsive liar as you claim then your situation wasn't a one off. She knows him better than you do. Maybe she caught him out and he has changed. Maybe he hasn't changed but she's choosing not to be a single mother to two children.

You don't know this man. You didn't know him 6 years ago. If you didn't want to tell her when she had one child why tell her when she has two? The first child was always going to exist. If you didn't want to risk breaking up a family then, why do it now?

YWBTA.

You are insane jeez

Nope.

You're obsessed. This was a man who you had a fling with for 3 months then discovered he was married.

And?

And it was 6 flipping years ago.

What on earth is wrong with you?

You're clearly still hurting about being mislead and the way to get back at him (you think) is to spill the beans.

IF he's as unfaithful as you think, don't you also think that his wife (or ANY wife) has some idea?

Don't you even consider she knows but has decided to stay?

Don't you even consider they may both be playing the same game?

Why did you ask the question here if you aren't willing to have your own behaviour and mindset judged?

Does your current partner know you're giving so much headspace to a man you slept with 6 years ago?
What does that say about you?

As above. Have more respect for yourselves than are present for you......

And every time remember to clock in with the everyday gardening, and register all the new tools needed etc..

We aren't missing the point. Most people have sussed out exactly why you want to destroy this young family.

It's nothing to do with doing the right thing and everything to do with your obsession with a man who you can't bear to see with someone else. You are bent on revenge and it's not pretty.

Don't bother "explaining" again. We hear what you are saying and most of us don't believe you.

Leave him and his family alone.

No

Oh just stop it

Don't pretend you are doing her a massive favour and that she doesn't deserve not to know.

It's none of your business. She could know and they've worked it out. She might not know and he has been a loving husband since. You could be turning the life's of innocent children upside down and their mum for what? So you can feel virtuous. Well it's not. It's spiteful and cruel. Just pack it in. No one believes you.

As most people have said @Anon31483 you are not doing this to be altruistic, and because you care about the man's wife. You are doing this out of spite - and to be vindictive.

As a pp said, it's bizarre that you are still hung up on a 3 month fling from 6 years ago, and to be so determined to destroy this man's marriage because of it. To be honest if some random woman came to me and claimed she had a 3 month fling with my husband in 2018, I probably wouldn't believe her anyway. So prepare to be laughed at and told to piss off. I bet you have zero proof of this 'affair.'

Seriously, as a pp said, get help, because it's not normal to still be obsessing over a 3 month fling from 6 years ago. It's fucking weird actually.

Absolutely not.
Stay away!

You've managed it for six years...

What do you mean? Are you saying that in the OP and I’ve charged my name? Genuinely … sorry … is that what you mean?

She might be. Six years on it's definitely time to let her life take whatever course it does without your input.

No no no. Leave them alone and put it behind you

Agree
Op this would be totally selfish
She has two little kids.
Do they deserve their world to be turned upside?

Leave well enough alone it’s been 6 years if you do say anything it’s all selfish on your part and by the way you most definitely have NOT moved on!!