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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Order what you want and don’t eat others unless offered!

164 replies

Eqei · 18/05/2024 13:33

Just a lighthearted one…

A debate came up between me and dh. I wanted to see what others think.

here’s the backstory.
I love my food, I have a good appetite. So does dh.

we ordered burgers the other day. He decided he just wanted a burger, no fries, no drink.
I love a fountain drink (pregnancy craving too!) and fries are a must.
so I order a whole meal, regret not ordering a large in hindsight lol

so we order, have our food. He gets his double cheeseburger and finishes it. I’m eating my burger and fries… he then proceeds to take a few gulps of my drink and almost half my fries.

I made the point that if he wanted some he should’ve ordered them himself!!!
his response was he didn’t want any at the time…
my response is.. I never do it to him, I always order mine and eat mine. I wouldn’t take his food without asking or being offered (I did not offer!)
he agreed, he said I never do that and he’s grateful for it (the cheek!)

obviously this isn’t a make or break situation, just light hearted. I’m not a monster who kicked off. I just made the point that you should order your own sides!
it’s not that I can’t share, I ordered just enough of what I wanted - could’ve got some sharing fries and another drink if I knew he was going to do this!

AIBU or is he?

OP posts:
dottiedodah · 18/05/2024 19:38

Eqei · 18/05/2024 13:33

Just a lighthearted one…

A debate came up between me and dh. I wanted to see what others think.

here’s the backstory.
I love my food, I have a good appetite. So does dh.

we ordered burgers the other day. He decided he just wanted a burger, no fries, no drink.
I love a fountain drink (pregnancy craving too!) and fries are a must.
so I order a whole meal, regret not ordering a large in hindsight lol

so we order, have our food. He gets his double cheeseburger and finishes it. I’m eating my burger and fries… he then proceeds to take a few gulps of my drink and almost half my fries.

I made the point that if he wanted some he should’ve ordered them himself!!!
his response was he didn’t want any at the time…
my response is.. I never do it to him, I always order mine and eat mine. I wouldn’t take his food without asking or being offered (I did not offer!)
he agreed, he said I never do that and he’s grateful for it (the cheek!)

obviously this isn’t a make or break situation, just light hearted. I’m not a monster who kicked off. I just made the point that you should order your own sides!
it’s not that I can’t share, I ordered just enough of what I wanted - could’ve got some sharing fries and another drink if I knew he was going to do this!

AIBU or is he?

No way would I like this.!bad enough normally but pregnant as well .is he tired of living or something..Next time 2 of everything the lady and bump done sharing!

Dobest · 18/05/2024 19:38

splatmouse · 18/05/2024 19:36

Decided to look it up. Apparently 'crispy' means fizzy. 'Crispy coke' = coke that's fizzy.

Is there a not fizzy option?

PrincessHoneysuckle · 18/05/2024 19:36

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 18/05/2024 16:26

I know a few people like this. Regardless, they have to have some of what you are eating. It is about power, not hunger.

I don't think it's that deep

Blackcats7 · 18/05/2024 19:36

DoYouSmokePaul · 18/05/2024 13:37

Let me be the first to say JOEY DOESNT SHARE FOOD

Came here to say the same!

RegimentalSturgeon · 18/05/2024 19:36

viques · 18/05/2024 19:31

It’s why they don’t provide cutlery in most burger bars……..

…which is why the wise woman takes her own rusty fork with her.

splatmouse · 18/05/2024 19:36

Decided to look it up. Apparently 'crispy' means fizzy. 'Crispy coke' = coke that's fizzy.

RelationshipOrNot · 18/05/2024 19:34

Georgyporky · 18/05/2024 19:31

... " Indian, Pakistani, Chinese food is meant to be shared."

That's why the food is brought to the table in dishes, rather than served to the individual diner.

It's still rude not to ask! I choose my food very carefully in restaurants and would be upset if someone took it, and wouldn't want some of theirs in return.

Dobest · 18/05/2024 19:33

Why did you let his hand or cutlery near your plate?

Are you soft?

Georgyporky · 18/05/2024 19:31

Mnk711 · 18/05/2024 19:25

Surely you ask politely first though rather than just help yourself? Or agree upfront you're all sharing?

... " Indian, Pakistani, Chinese food is meant to be shared."

That's why the food is brought to the table in dishes, rather than served to the individual diner.

viques · 18/05/2024 19:31

AGodawfulsmallaffair · 18/05/2024 17:03

Stab him with a rusty fork. It’s the only response.

It’s why they don’t provide cutlery in most burger bars……..

Mnk711 · 18/05/2024 19:25

Georgyporky · 18/05/2024 19:23

We used to eat out regularly with our best friends - from Michelin* down to our local curry house.
They never understood the concept that Indian, Pakistani, Chinese food is meant to be shared.

The first time I tried to take a spoonful of Lamb Madras that was not "mine", I thought he would stab me !

I wouldn't dream of doing it in a European restaurant though.

Surely you ask politely first though rather than just help yourself? Or agree upfront you're all sharing?

MrsMitford3 · 18/05/2024 19:24

@Ponderingwindow I also have food allergies and loathe communal food!

MrsMitford3 · 18/05/2024 19:24

I am with Smithy.

I order what I want.

I don't want yours and I will not eat it.

Don't eat mine!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ponderingwindow · 18/05/2024 19:23

I hate sharing. It’s so inconsiderate.

there are two issues for me

  1. I’m autistic and when I prepare myself for something particular then have to shift I sometimes literally can’t make myself eat. My stomach just clamps down.

  2. I have allergies. Even if someone offers me a portion of their food in exchange, odds are I can’t eat it.

Mnk711 · 18/05/2024 19:23

I'm usually ok with having food stolen. However at the moment I'm breastfeeding and get extremely hangry. If anyone takes my food I am not happy - like you say I get/make enough for me and that's what I want to eat. I get told I'm like a stray dog. I already have a baby stealing my nutrients, I don't need anyone else doing it 😂

Georgyporky · 18/05/2024 19:23

We used to eat out regularly with our best friends - from Michelin* down to our local curry house.
They never understood the concept that Indian, Pakistani, Chinese food is meant to be shared.

The first time I tried to take a spoonful of Lamb Madras that was not "mine", I thought he would stab me !

I wouldn't dream of doing it in a European restaurant though.

Applesandpairsofrocks · 18/05/2024 19:22

LookItsMeAgain · 18/05/2024 19:13

I have two points of note (neither is for the OP actually)

  1. what is a Crispy Coke?
  2. @Applesandpairsofrocks - It's a red flap is it 😆 That's bound to be painful 😆😆

Yes not quite a flag but enough to put you in a flap and consider your relationship 😂😂

Choochoo21 · 18/05/2024 19:19

The “Joey doesn’t share food” came straight to my mind too!

I am a very laid back, calm person but my goodness this would have me absolutely raging!

I can’t believe how calm you were, especially for being pregnant too!

You are a better person than me, I think I would have eaten him instead.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/05/2024 19:18

BirthdayRainbow · 18/05/2024 18:58

Not at all comparable 🙄

Entirely different when small children do it, I agree

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 18/05/2024 19:16

Oooh that’s so bad! I would not be happy.

Especially bad to take your drink - you’ve probably just got enough drink to “wash down” (sorry for awful cringe expression!) the food, and now he’s ruined that with his gulping ways.

I would be eating my food and drinking my drink in such a way to have the balance right of when I ate / drank each thing, and would not be amused by someone messing with that. Someone who had been offered their own!

glittereyelash · 18/05/2024 19:16

My husband frequently orders something prefers what got so i end up swapping food with him. He will also finish anything I don't eat. I don't have a huge appetite so I don't mind.

betterangels · 18/05/2024 19:15

Glenthebattleostrich · 18/05/2024 17:43

For the next month, every time he gets anything to eat or drink walk over and take a bite or slurp of it then hand it back. Every. Single. Time. While looking him in the eye.

Or I can help you build a new patio.

Do this. I'll help with the patio, too. And alibis.

LookItsMeAgain · 18/05/2024 19:13

I have two points of note (neither is for the OP actually)

  1. what is a Crispy Coke?
  2. @Applesandpairsofrocks - It's a red flap is it 😆 That's bound to be painful 😆😆
Kalevala · 18/05/2024 19:11

My DS and I would normally order a meal and a burger between us but neither of us want more than a few chips. If you want a full serve and he just wants half then a large meal and an extra burger may be the way to go.

AnneShirleysNewDress · 18/05/2024 19:10

DoYouSmokePaul · 18/05/2024 13:37

Let me be the first to say JOEY DOESNT SHARE FOOD

Nor does @Eqei 😂