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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Order what you want and don’t eat others unless offered!

164 replies

Eqei · 18/05/2024 13:33

Just a lighthearted one…

A debate came up between me and dh. I wanted to see what others think.

here’s the backstory.
I love my food, I have a good appetite. So does dh.

we ordered burgers the other day. He decided he just wanted a burger, no fries, no drink.
I love a fountain drink (pregnancy craving too!) and fries are a must.
so I order a whole meal, regret not ordering a large in hindsight lol

so we order, have our food. He gets his double cheeseburger and finishes it. I’m eating my burger and fries… he then proceeds to take a few gulps of my drink and almost half my fries.

I made the point that if he wanted some he should’ve ordered them himself!!!
his response was he didn’t want any at the time…
my response is.. I never do it to him, I always order mine and eat mine. I wouldn’t take his food without asking or being offered (I did not offer!)
he agreed, he said I never do that and he’s grateful for it (the cheek!)

obviously this isn’t a make or break situation, just light hearted. I’m not a monster who kicked off. I just made the point that you should order your own sides!
it’s not that I can’t share, I ordered just enough of what I wanted - could’ve got some sharing fries and another drink if I knew he was going to do this!

AIBU or is he?

OP posts:
Nanaof1 · 18/05/2024 22:11

MrsJackThornton · 18/05/2024 22:04

And under the endangered plants, on top of the body bury and animal carcass so if the police do dig they assume the sniffer dog smelt the animal body and don't dig any further

Show quote history

Excellent advice! I will add that part to my next TED talk. 😆😉

Emmerald · 18/05/2024 22:08

My partner once offered a friend chips off my plate because he turned up early to meet us from a restaurant while we were finishing a meal. His friend said that if looks could kill, there'd have been a funeral to arrange. I may not always be able to finish my meal due to my health issues, but that's my decision, no one else's! And chips, given time, I can nibble away at and finish. 😊

godmum56 · 18/05/2024 22:06

now this is why you need to take a (sharpened) fork with you when you go out to eat somwhere that does not provide them. usually just laying it on the tabkle beside your food is enough.

MrsJackThornton · 18/05/2024 22:04

Nanaof1 · 18/05/2024 21:52

My TED talk for the day:

"If your OH steals your food from you and you need to put a stop to it, be environmentally conscious. Plant endangered plants on top of the plot so that it will be illegal to dig them up. You're welcome."

And under the endangered plants, on top of the body bury and animal carcass so if the police do dig they assume the sniffer dog smelt the animal body and don't dig any further

CrappySack · 18/05/2024 22:04

CrispieCake · 18/05/2024 21:30

And agreeing to share is completely different. The issue with covert piggery is that, unlike the perpetrator, the victim doesn't get agency in deciding how much food they want. They order under a misapprehension.

Covert piggery is my new favourite phrase. 🐖

Dashel · 18/05/2024 21:55

My DH can be like this with pudding so now I assume he wants to share

If I’m happy to share I will order one pudding and if I don’t want to share, I order two and either share both or give him the one that I least fancy.

If he doesn’t want one then I have two 🤓

Nanaof1 · 18/05/2024 21:52

My TED talk for the day:

"If your OH steals your food from you and you need to put a stop to it, be environmentally conscious. Plant endangered plants on top of the plot so that it will be illegal to dig them up. You're welcome."

Barney16 · 18/05/2024 21:49

Thursday. I'm eating the last four finger KitKat in the packet. DH "can I have some of that, just one finger?" Me "no you can't" there was a quite prolonged silence...

ArchaeoSpy · 18/05/2024 21:48

sometimes i order large to cover this angle

Differentstarts · 18/05/2024 21:46

Yanbu I don't share food #teamjoey

FangsForTheMemory · 18/05/2024 21:36

I loathe cross-eating at any time and people who won’t order what they want are the pits.

CrispieCake · 18/05/2024 21:30

And agreeing to share is completely different. The issue with covert piggery is that, unlike the perpetrator, the victim doesn't get agency in deciding how much food they want. They order under a misapprehension.

CrispieCake · 18/05/2024 21:28

I would have pointedly ordered a second fries and drink to replace the purloined items.

burnoutbabe · 18/05/2024 21:14

Kalevala · 18/05/2024 19:11

My DS and I would normally order a meal and a burger between us but neither of us want more than a few chips. If you want a full serve and he just wants half then a large meal and an extra burger may be the way to go.

Yes that what we normally do -one gets a meal or large meal. Plus extra burger.

But it's agreed upfront we are sharing.

LongSinceGotUpAndGone · 18/05/2024 21:11

YANBU - it's OK to share food, of course, but you should agree this beforehand.

RosaBaby2 · 18/05/2024 20:57

God I hate that! YADNBU

SonicTheHodgeheg · 18/05/2024 20:54

Is Crispy Coke an autocorrect of Cherry Coke ?

ImCamembertTheBigCheese · 18/05/2024 20:30

PrincessHoneysuckle · 18/05/2024 19:36

I don't think it's that deep

Show quote history

It is in my experience

Original poster
Eqei · 18/05/2024 20:11

You have all had me smiling and laughing!
thank you!

tbh, I used to use Joey doesn’t share food allll the time.. but now I have a child it doesn’t apply
and I have been known to have rage when people try to take my food 🤣🤣 so I try to be a little less crazy.

anyway, he owes me a whole new meal - it’s been decided

I’m just worried he might do it again due to being a forgetful man and I will need LTB. 🤣🤣

ps- crispy coke?!? Whaaat 🤣

OP posts:
Youdontevengohere · 18/05/2024 19:59

splatmouse · 18/05/2024 19:36

Decided to look it up. Apparently 'crispy' means fizzy. 'Crispy coke' = coke that's fizzy.

Isn't all coke fizzy?

Theothername · 18/05/2024 19:59

Grrr. It’s those big man bites they do. “A taste of your ice cream” and half of it is gone. “A sip of your drink” and you’re left sucking the ice.
Feeling very stabby now

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 18/05/2024 19:57

splatmouse · 18/05/2024 19:36

Decided to look it up. Apparently 'crispy' means fizzy. 'Crispy coke' = coke that's fizzy.

Thanks for saving me a Google. My first thought was a coke with crisps in it but I assumed that was probably more weird than reality.

IpsyUpsyDaisyDoos · 18/05/2024 19:55

SummerInSun · 18/05/2024 14:34

I'm actually in DH's camp on this. I like a few fries with a burger, but a whole serve of fries for one person - even though they are sold as a single person serve - is vastly more fat, salt and calories and general unhealthy goop than one person should eat at one time, especially with something that's already fairly high in fat and carbs like a burger. His mistake was not saying at the beginning "let's get one serve of fries to share".

Re the drink, even if you don't want to order a drink you ask for tap water? Of course you need some liquid with a salty meal.

Then order a few fries. Don't assume that I also only want a few fries.

If I order fries, it's because I want to eat them. I'm not ordering them to leave them so I look healthy, or to make my plate look pretty.

fetchacloth · 18/05/2024 19:48

That's awful. I'd make him by another drink and fries for you.😒

Mnk711 · 18/05/2024 19:41

Georgyporky · 18/05/2024 19:31

... " Indian, Pakistani, Chinese food is meant to be shared."

That's why the food is brought to the table in dishes, rather than served to the individual diner.

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It depends on the restaurant actually, it often is bought to the individual diner. Also surely it depends on thw country you are in as to the cultural norms versus the cuisine per se, I think it's incredibly rude to help yourself if you're in the UK, unless it's either been pre agreed or you are with other people of the same culture (e.g. Indian in an Indian restaurant). I'm very happy to go with the flow and share but I think it is important you agree expectations up front otherwise you end up with a fork in your hand..