To feel unsupported and misunderstood by work

OP, if you don't like your job then you do what everyone else does and find another one.

They’ve employed you to do a job, to be brutally honest.
They don’t really expect to have to consider your feelings about your role (you’re not compelled to be there) / give you time off to revise procedures that you should presumably be up to speed with already / remove aspects of the role you don’t like.
Do you feel you’ve been given adequate training?
Are the colleagues who you expect to pick up the slack for you while you’re struggling to get to grips with the job on the same level as you, and have they had similar training?

The problem for the OP though is that, even where companies do focus on well being, that doesn't extend to removing key responsibilities from their role.

Agree with most others that your expectations of what an employer should do are off. Maybe you've heard a load about how companies are focusing on wellbeing and mental health but in reality few of them will put that over making profit and getting their money's worth from you.

Look for roles with less pressure and less phone work.

I'm assuming you're the OP who has changed name?

The difference is that people returning from work on a phased return with temporary adjustments are fundamentally capable of doing their job.

This is a time limited measure to ease their transition back into the work place for a specified period of time.

What you are saying is that you are unable to perform a fundamental part of your job at all without it causing you stress.

If you struggle to retain the procedures, a couple of days won't help that.

A reasonable adjustment there would be to have them accessible to you at all times. Or put into an easy to read flow chart, printed out and laminated at your workstation for ease of access..

The point I've been making is that when somebody is on the edge they need to be hauled back. If that means them having a bit of time out to build up their confidence then surely it's a worthwhile investment?

The problem is that they are your employer. Not your friends or your parents or even your teachers. Their support of you only extends to you as long as you are able to perform the role.

They are not employing you as a favour but because there is a job to do. If you can't do it, they don't need to keep employing you.

I would like to add here that the temporary measures I asked for were not agreed as only being put in place till the end of the week. Basically they were only implemented for two days and then my fitness to cope with going back to work as it was didn't get checked on the Monday.

It's that I feel resentful of as other people coming back from illness or personal crisis have had their fitness checked and their job roles modified for as long as necessary. I also would never dream of telling somebody quite clearly on the edge that they're basically going to have to like or lump the job. The point I've been making is that when somebody is on the edge they need to be hauled back. If that means them having a bit of time out to build up their confidence then surely it's a worthwhile investment?

I certainly don't expect to pick and choose what I do in the job but I just think something is necessary here to help me cope and perform better.

Perhaps I could tweak the revision time to be 30 mins to 1 hour each day or after work but I felt it would be a worthwhile investment if I don't feel confident. It's my feelings I think are getting missed here and to be fair I have been the one to offer the middle ground. To be honest at the moment I feel I'm being presented with a choice of give up your free time (which they've said they don't want me to), lose your job and/or lose your sanity.

Maybe ask for a referral to occupational health who might advise on how the employer can better support you?
On the whole though i think other posters are correct, this may not be a suitable job for you. If OH recommend adjustments it might make the job more bearable while you look for another.

How long have you been in the job?
Have you always struggled with these sort of tasks or is this something new?

If you need time to revise the procedures, take them home and do it there. Expecting them to give you time at work to do it is unreasonable because you have a job to do that you are getting paid for.

If you need more time than you've been given, do it in your own time.

It sounds like two things:

Fundamentally, the job sounds unsuitable for you;

Your expectations of them in terms of support are unrealistic.

I think your section leader has had the right conversation with you tbh re whether you're suited to the role. You can't reasonably expect to have the phone aspect of a phone based job minimised/removed, find a job that means you're not on the phones. You can't expect them to give you lots of time to revise - all it sounds like you're doing is stalling the inevitable, you'll have to go back on the phones, it won't go well, you'll find yourself on a PIP pretty quickly.

Honestly OP there will be much more suitable job out there for you, put your energy into finding that perfect role rather than trying to persevere at one that's clearly not suitable.

I have 'reasonable adjustments' (for ASD) in my job l so it's not something I'm unaware of.

Reasonable adjustments are there to enable you to do your job properly. They don't mean that you get to duck out of certain parts of the job.

If you can't do your job you need to leave and find one you can do. It's not fair to expect to get paid for a job you are not doing or for others to pick up the slack.

I think it would be very inappropriate for your workplace to ask you how a doctor’s appointment went.

Is it a call centre? Time not to read procedures is common

I agree with PP, sorry OP.

Being on the phone can be quite nerve-wracking, especially when there are lot of processes to follow. Some people thrive in that environment, others don't.

For you to have time to revise, it would mean they're paying you to learn things that you should have learned in the training. Unless it's a reasonable adjustment you may struggle to get them to agree to this. It means the people who are on the phone a) have to take more calls because they're one person down and b) don't get as much time as you do to train.

Was there issues with their training/induction processes?

How long have you been in the job? Did you have a proper induction process and training at the beginning?

If you have been doing it for a while, why is it that you need time to revise or retrain? It sounds like your employer thinks that you should know what you're doing at this point, so why is it that you are so unsure?

It's hard to give advice because we don't know all the details of your situation, but honestly speaking, based on what you've said, I can completely see why your manager has questioned whether you're really suited to this sort of role. They clearly have capability concerns, and the role is clearly causing you a lot of stress and anxiety. Not good for either party.

Realistically, what would they need to do to enable you to succeed in the job? If there are simple adjustments that could be put in place that would help you to manage the role, then ask for them. But it isn't reasonable to keep asking for extra time to learn a job that you should already know, nor would it be a reasonable adjustment for you to be excused from doing something that is apparently a central part of the role.

Days to revise procedures (assuming by revise you mean ‘re-learn what to do’ rather than ‘amend so people do it better’) sounds a strange request to me. Initial training and then learning on the job is more normal. Maybe you could ask for 30 mins at the beginning of 2 days a week to refresh anything you haven’t quite learned or understood.

But with respect, surely the job doesn't normally give revision time. You do the training at the start and are expected to get on with it after that. Holidays and sick leave are different as there are laws behind what they can be used for and how they are calculated and how much everyone is entitled to. Time off for revision would be extra to all of this. That's more than 'reasonable accommodation ' and could be seen as setting precedent for others if it's not normally offered

How long have you been in the job, op?
I’ve a funny feeling that when you refer to “revision” you really mean learning some aspects of the work from scratch.
Have you had the same training as everyone else?

If you were in my team I’d give you a buddy / mentor and find out what extra training you need and provide it, and put in place any adjustments. I’d send you for an occupational health appointment to see what they thought would help. We do pay for autism assessments too now.

What is the job OP? It might help others advise better.
How long have you been there?
It does sound like you aren’t suited though.

Could you not take some holiday if it’s just a bit of time you need?

If you prefer doing customer interaction by email then there are a lot of online only type posts being an online customer assistant now, you know the ones that type when you ask them questions, working from home as well. Just an idea.

OP, you are reminding me of my daughter, who is currently waiting for an autism assessment, when she had a job with a high amount of customer interaction in a fast paced environment. She just couldn't manage it and felt ill with the stress of it all, In a different environment, she's great, calm, organized, it was the people contact that was too fast and too much, but she's found jobs that have suited her much better. I do wonder if this is the job for you as they did allow you to step back a bit but now you don't feel you can step forward into the main part of the job and it doesn't sound like that's going to change and they can't change that themselves. I would look for a job that works with your skills/talents, sometimes it's just a question of fit, and this isn't fitting you.

This clearly isn't the job for you.

Which is nobodies fault.

I had the same problem in my first job out of uni. I took an admin job, working for the DVLA. This was back before a lot of the processes were fully automated, and there was a LOT of paperwork with VERY set procedures.
Well, it turns out I'm not an admin-y sort of person at all. I really struggled to remember all the procedures and what to do, in what order, with all the multitudes of different forms.
Other people seemed to sail through it, whereas I was intensely stressed, all the time.

I lasted 9 months there, and that was a struggle!