To feel unsupported and misunderstood by work

But what you're suggesting is for them to do more of the stressful part of the job (phones) so that you can work on the admin to build your confidence.

Does that feel fair on them to you?

How long have you worked there OP? You've been asked a number of times but not answered.

If you consistently cannot meet your deliverables without a lot of overtime you are either not performing or you have too much work.

If you are not performing (which sounds like the issue) then you need to work out if you can get to the required standard and what you need to get there.

We are not all suited to the same jobs, you might need to think about what your skillset is suited to.

This is clearly not the job for you and your employer is not running a charity. They need the job done.

Nobody checked in on me to see how I was coping at any point or how the doctor's appointment went. I was on the whole enjoying the job and feeling more confident but isn't that by the by?

Op, you're not a child and they aren't your friends or parents. Accept the fact that this job isn't a good fit for you, which is in no way a failing, btw, and find a new role. You tried and it's not making you happy.

You're projecting. Massively.

You need to find a new job. Better to jump before you're pushed.

But you do expect your colleagues to take on the parts you feel unable to do, yes?

How long have you worked there, op?

Op but you spending more time isn't a favour to them? It's because you can't keep up with the current workload, that everyone else is managing .by that definition everyone else is also a team player.

It sounds like you are a customer service rep in a contact centre, if so, I get it, as I did that for years myself.
A job that is always changing will mean you always have to be learning, getting ready to change how you were trained to do a thing, taking on new information, while maintaining high standards.
Forgive me if I am heading the wrong way, but if this is close to your situation, I'd be job hunting like it was to save my life.

Interesting take on what I actually said, op?

I agree with this.

OP, do you feel confident to speak with your manager about your workload? Doing your role, but with temporarily reduced quantity?

I think you need to book a meeting with your manage to have a frank conversation about how you're coping with workload. It may be that you simply aren't suited to the role. Or it may be that they'd be prepared to provide additional time for learning so that you can get up to the speed of your colleagues.

This doesn't sound like the job for you. They don't need to build your confidence or the things you are asking for. If you can't perform the core function of the role then you are not meeting the job specifications.

You’re talking about redefining your role (and crucially, the role of your colleagues) to suit yourself, op.
You can’t hand over aspects of your job to someone else so you can concentrate on the parts you feel you’re good at.
Especially when the part you’re trying to palm off is a fundamental part of the role.
Think about it.

What I'm basically finding hard is remembering all the procedures and getting things done within the allotted time frame while maintaining quality. There are constantly tasks coming in on the back of calls as well as emails to answer. Then procedures and products regularly change

What you're finding hard is your job.

It does sound harsh to say it but that's an awful lot of the main requirements of your job that you're not currently able to meet.

Of course it's not easy but ultimately that's the solution.

And you say you've enjoyed it on the whole but you're struggling with the telephone aspect of it which it the main part. You've already had time off for stress.

As I said I have ASD and reasonable adjustments. The expectations of me are exactly the same as they are of anyone else. There are no concessions made for that at all. But things are put in place that make the parts of my job that are harder because of asd more accessible to me. And none of them involved me taking paid time away from my job to do.

I have had other friends who have experienced similar difficulties in jobs and have made demands/requests. One has had several jobs in as many years and ended up going to the union and making formal complaints in every one. Mostly because she can't understand why they're not more interested in her and her wellbeing. None has been upheld. Because in the end her requests aren't reasonable and she hasn't actually been able to fulfill the requirements of the job.

She's now somewhere that she's far more suited to and happy.

OP, you haven't really explained why you were struggling with your job in the first place and what led to your meltdown. You haven't explained why you are making so many mistakes or why you need extra time to revise the procedures that your employer clearly thinks you should already know.

You want them to be more accommodating but you have acknowledged that they have already given you some time away from the phones and that you've had help with the procedures. You have acknowledged that the phones are a central part of the role.

What have you actually done so far to give your employers the confidence that you are going to turn this around?

How long have you worked there, op?

This sounds really hard OP.

A gentle suggestion that perhaps a telephone based role may not be best for someone with Autism (or someone who suspects some neurodivergence.

The good news is many other roles will suit you. How about something process driven and home-based?

If that means them having a bit of time out to build up their confidence then surely it's a worthwhile investment?

It is absolutely a worthwhile investment if they have confidence in your ability to do the job well and contribute as a valueable employee. In this particular scenario, I suspect that they think you're unable to do the job and consequently there isn't much point in investing too heavily.