To feel unsupported and misunderstood by work

Where did you work before OP? Your role sounds very like mine but I’ve done it since I was in my 20s there’s no way I would be able to pick it up from scratch now at my 2 child perimenopausal age.

And the point I keep making over and over is it's a short term suggestion - not demand - to help long term. If it helps me be on a par with other people and prevents the team being one down how is that a bad thing?

You not doing your role as it's needed to be done isn't going to help you to be on par with your colleagues. If you haven't been able to successfully learn how to manage the job by six months, it's just not going to happen. You can't expect an employer to keep investing time, money, as well as repeatedly making allowances for an under-performing team member.

I'm really sorry you're struggling, OP. Sounds like you're trying to do what you can to keep this job. I'm going to approach this from the manager stance though - as this is something I went through last year with one of my new team members. She too was clearly trying her best, but information just wasn't sticking. She was given extra training on everything, often on multiple occasions. I gave her time to study our processes etc. and made it clear that even if she had a million questions a day, I'd be more than happy to answer them. If I hadn't previously trained multiple other people successfully, I'd have been convinced I was going spectacularly wrong with her training. But she just didn't get it and in the end we had to let her go. I'll be honest and say that we likely would have tried her in a different role within the company that didn't require so much information recall, but she started blaming our processes and colleagues for her shortcomings in her last month, which was difficult as they'd all bent over backwards to help her.

Whether this role is right for you or not I don't know, but there's only so much time and money a company will put into your training before it becomes unsustainable.

Plus she’s had six months of time already, and nothing’s getting easier.

'What I meant was doing an hour or two's more admin and less phonework a day.'

But this isn't the job you've been employed to do.

Maybe there are others in the team who would also prefer to do more admin and fewer calls. Where would that leave them?

What if everyone wanted to do more admin and fewer calls.

The business has no responsibility to change the job just for you, unless there is a a justifiable reason why you need those adjustments.

I agree with a previous poster that I think you are in danger of failing your probation.

You need to concentrate on trying to complete your actual job to the highest possible standard, within the usual working day, rather than seeking to change it to suit your preferences.

She’s in her probation period, they definitely can just sack her unfortunately.

I think you're being given a hard time here.

From my understanding you are not asking to be permanently relieved of phone duties but to find a way to give you the time to embed all the procedures you need to enable you to have full confidence in the phone work and to be able to work to your best ability.

It would seem to make sense for the company to attempt to put something in place because they can't just sack her so wouldn't it be better to try something to help her improve rather than put up with someone making mistakes and potentially being signed off with stress?

Definitely speak to OH, OP so they can help with seeing if something can be put into place?

Would you be happy having a pay/role downgrade to only have to do the bits you wanted to @sajamor0811?

It wasn't sodding around at all - it was done to improve my knowledge and lessen the team's workload.

I understand the point about improving knowledge. If dealing with emails and doing billing is part of your role, then doing more in your own time can give you more practice at it. You should build up that experience in your working hours though, preferably. But if that’s what you’re doing - extra working as extra learning, I understand why.

But you’re not doing it to lessen the team’s workload. If they work 9-5, your team lead is never going to say, “oh hey, sajamor did extra emails last night - nice one sajamor! - everybody can go home at 4 today!”

Yes, this.

Ah OP it’s horrible when you feel out of your depth in a job. But if you can’t do the role you’re paid for to the point you are breaking down it’s very reasonable to ask if you are in fact up to the job.

You need to completely rethink your attitude OP. Doing what you have to do to complete your own workload is not you making sacrifices for the team.

You doing some of their admin so that they can help you by doing your phone calls is not you making sacrifices for the team.

They did support you by letting you have two days in work where you did things other than your job, it was reasonable to expect you to get back to it after the weekend. They are not your Mum, they don’t need to check you’re ok. If you feel incapable of doing the role they hired you for, it’s up to you to tell them.

Other people would have to do more of the thing that you want to do less of if they do what you want. Surely you can see that isn’t fair on them. You are asking for a huge favour from your colleagues who owe you nothing and at the same time you’re claiming it would be good for the team as a whole when it really wouldn’t, it would dog be good for you.

I get it. You want to keep the job. Fair enough. And it's good that you don't see it as a personal vendetta against you.

But the way to keep the job is to show that you can DO the job, as it was originally written. Not to ask them to shift the balance away from the bits that you don't like.

If all you need is a bit of revision, then spend a weekend going over what you need to know and then put it into practice. If you're still struggling after that, then you need to think about whether you will ever actually be able to do the job that they want you to do. It's fine to suggest an alternative approach like doing more admin, but if they're telling you that that won't work for them, you need to accept that it isn't an option. They are paying you to do a particular job that you were hired to do. If you want to stay, you are going to need to demonstrate that you can do that job... not a different job that they haven't asked you to take on.

extra work was done as procedural revision rather than reading notes

I’m struggling to understand what you’re actually needing to do. Like a previous poster, I first thought that by revising procedures you meant your job was to review and amend procedure. But then it sounded like you meant revising them as in learning. But isn’t that reading notes?

Look, if you’re nearly 50, do you have a good idea of how well you’re able to retain information? Or is this quite a different role for you?

If you just take a bit longer than others, a short term decision to revise at home in your own time is a good one. Some people here will disagree with doing anything that’s not on paid time - but that’s my personal view.

Not working extra permanently, just if you need a day of quietly reading procedures to nail it, I’d do it.

But if you actually can’t retain the info (autism related or not) then your suggestion of extra time won’t help. Then you need to look at alternatives - like someone said, flow charts for example. But you also need to be honest with yourself if it’s the right job for you. I couldn’t be a sales rep or a car mechanic, no matter how many unpaid hours I put in!

I’m really not trying to be cruel here, because it’s clear you’re struggling and that’s truly awful.

But to be completely real with you - if your probation ends in June and you’re asking for changes to the role/accommodations, temporary or otherwise - I’d be inclined to say they’re going to fail it.

Towards the back end of someone’s probation what they’re looking for is full competency, without the need for rehashing of training or time out to revise - by now it’s the expectation that most can just… get on with it.

I know that’s upsetting maybe, but personally, I’d look for another job that doesn’t have elements you need removing when things are hard, because sometimes things will be hard and work expectations won’t change.

You’re six months in, op.
How much longer would you estimate you need to be on a par with your team?

I've also done extra emails and bill workings in the overtime I've never demanded a penny for!

You can’t demand overtime pay for something no-one asked you to do.

But I don’t even understand this… if you feel you need to use your own unpaid time to revise the procedures, why aren’t you doing just that - not sodding around with other emails and bill calculations?

But that's not the job that you were hired to do, OP. If they had wanted someone to just do admin instead of handling calls, then they would have hired someone with that job description.

Nobody is saying that you're a bad person at all, but you need to understand that you aren't doing your colleagues a favour by offering to do a job that they don't need you to do. As others have said, if you're doing more admin and no phones, that will shift the balance for the rest of the team more towards the phones, which you've been clear are the more challenging and stressful part of the job. How is that fair to the other staff?

And yes, if they fail you on probation, they will be a person down and that will temporarily increase the burden on everyone. However, they would then have the option of recruiting a new employee that could do all aspects of the role. Whereas if they keep you, they will be worried that they will be stuck with someone that can only do the easiest bits of the job.

I am not saying this to be mean, OP, but I think you need to understand your employer's likely perspective on the situation. And I mean this kindly, but it genuinely doesn't sound like the right kind of job for you. Do you really want to stay in a role where you are constantly stressed because you can't meet the expectations of the role? That isn't in anyone's interests.

I would be picking up part of their admin workload if my suggestion was picked up on

But why do you think that’s a good thing for them? If you do an hour of someone’s admin, they don’t get to knock off early on the same pay! No, they have to do even more of the harder phone work that you’re trying to avoid! Most people are happier on their job when they have a mix of tasks. If you were allowed to cherry pick the easy parts, the rest of the team would soon be (rightly) complaining!

You don't seem a good fit for this job and after 6 months you shouldn't be needing a hand hold over it.

I think you should look for something else as you don't seem to be able to get up to the expected speed to complete tasks, or deal with the reality of the job.

Are all the other employees managing to complete their work without staying hours late every night?

And they’d be picking up your phone work 🤷🏻‍♀️
It doesn’t work for anyone but you.