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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not like nicknames as full names?

210 replies

newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 01:17

Some (secondary school aged) children in my family have nicknames as full names and as they grow older I feel the names suiting them less and less.

Some of the names,

Melly
Stevie
Bobby
Ali
Ricky

AIBU to think that naming children nicknames doesn't age well and that full names on the birth certificates are more fitting?

OP posts:
Eggplant44 · 18/05/2024 11:05

Gillyyy · 18/05/2024 06:22

I think you have to take into account how much naming trends have changed. If you called your son Teddy now he would be in the same year as Kit, Hunter, Tilly, Freddie, Ronnie, Hattie, Luna, Milo - these will be the same people he’ll be up against for jobs. He would sound more different/out of place being called Richard or Robert. I recently went to a baby group and there was a baby called John which just seemed so strange now!

Depending on the job for which Teddy is applying, Richard or Robert might well be much less out of place.

tigger1001 · 18/05/2024 11:00

newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 10:23

Just to reiterate, the names I am mentioning are "cutesy" forms.

Melly not Mel
Stevie not Steve
Bobby not Bob
Ali not Alex
Ricky not Rick

Tommy not Tom
Etc

Two completely different categories of names.

You can use a shortened version without it sounding child-like

Names are important. Humans judge. Often the first thing you ask upon meeting.

I would judge someone far more who felt it was acceptable to judge someone on their name. Says far more about them, than someone with a shortened name.

And that aside, when introducing yourself you introduce yourself by the name you want to be known as surely? So if you want to be called "Freddie" that's how you introduce yourself as? Not "well my birth certificate says Frederick but I prefer Freddie"

It's likely you will never know what someone's birth certificate states. I've been to 2 funerals recently, one a family member of my partners, who I only learned their formal name, as they had been known as something else their entire life.

Original poster
newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 10:59

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 18/05/2024 10:57

Kevin Bridges does a funny sketch about how, around 30, your childhood friends stop going by Jamesie, Malkie, Stevie, and become James, Marholm and Stephen

I like him. I'll give it a watch. Thank you

OP posts:
ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 18/05/2024 10:57

Kevin Bridges does a funny sketch about how, around 30, your childhood friends stop going by Jamesie, Malkie, Stevie, and become James, Marholm and Stephen

Original poster
newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 10:54

Your opinion is about something other people do that doesn't affect you in any way. I just think that's a bit strange to care enough to take the trouble to start a thread.

Indeed. Humans have opinions on matters that don't affect them. If we just look at your comments as an example.

As another poster pointed out, people reading your post will have those names or have kids with those names.

Ok

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 18/05/2024 10:51

newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 10:44

@TheKeatingFive I have an opinion. The same way you have an opinion about me. Why do you care about me?

Your opinion is about something other people do that doesn't affect you in any way. I just think that's a bit strange to care enough to take the trouble to start a thread.

As another poster pointed out, people reading your post will have those names or have kids with those names.

Original poster
newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 10:47

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 18/05/2024 10:44

I have a Tom but Thomas on his birth certificate. He hates it when teachers etc call him Thomas

Some names have evolved to where the shortened versions are used more commonly than the original versions.

What I'm referring to, though, would be someone calling their Child Tommy not Tom or Thomas.

OP posts:
ThisNoisyTealLurker · 18/05/2024 10:45

DramaAlpaca · 18/05/2024 02:20

FFS, read the post! OP has clearly said Melly etc is on the birth certificate so not short for anything.

I tend to agree with OP, but I'm willing to accept I'm old fashioned. I like classic names, preferably short enough that they don't lend themselves to diminutives. That's what I did with my DC, anyway.

There's a trend these days for diminutives/short forms of names as given names. Note - they aren't nicknames, those are different and unrelated to actual names, like Ginger or Shorty or something. Diminutives, please.

I don't like the trend for diminutives personally. I mean, call him Freddie if you absolutely must but at least put the more dignified Frederick on the birth certificate.

But then I'm old and traditional, and I have to accept that naming styles change.

Chill your beans for Christ sake! The op was listing ‘shortened’ names and I imagine most people read ‘Melly’ and wondered what it would be short for.
posting anonymously on here is no excuse for being a dick.

ThePlatypusAlwaysTriumphs · 18/05/2024 10:44

I have a Tom but Thomas on his birth certificate. He hates it when teachers etc call him Thomas

Original poster
newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 10:44

@TheKeatingFive I have an opinion. The same way you have an opinion about me. Why do you care about me?

OP posts:
TheKeatingFive · 18/05/2024 10:43

newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 10:20

A bit like the way you felt strongly enough to respond.

Show quote history

The two aren't really compatible.

But seriously, why would people care what others call their children. I don't understand that.

Original poster
newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 10:39

Upsidedownagain · 18/05/2024 10:34

50 odd years ago my very staid parents gave my sibling a shortened version of a name usually used in full. Virtually everyone who has the long version (it is a popular name) uses the shortened version in daily life. My parents disliked the longer version. Seems like almost everyone else does too.

Anyway, surely it's up to the individual in question. They can change their name formally or informally when they're older anyway.

Edited

Ofc it's up to them.
I'm simply stating my opinion.

OP posts:
KreedKafer · 18/05/2024 10:37

Can also confirm that there is no professional disadvantage to being called by the short version of a name. The Chief Exec and Chair where I work (which is a very long established, well known professional body steeped in tradition) only go by their short nicknames professionally. They’re both in their 50s/early 60s and it certainly hasn’t stopped them being taken seriously. One of them’s got a damehood.

Obviously not going to say their actual names but thing along the lines of Alfie and Lottie.

Upsidedownagain · 18/05/2024 10:34

50 odd years ago my very staid parents gave my sibling a shortened version of a name usually used in full. Virtually everyone who has the long version (it is a popular name) uses the shortened version in daily life. My parents disliked the longer version. Seems like almost everyone else does too.

Anyway, surely it's up to the individual in question. They can change their name formally or informally when they're older anyway.

Anyotherdude · 18/05/2024 10:27

Don’t get me started! I also dislike names that are pronounced incorrectly - by the person given them (like Penelope pronounced as “Penny-loap” as an example)

chocolateanddietcoke · 18/05/2024 10:27

newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 10:23

Just to reiterate, the names I am mentioning are "cutesy" forms.

Melly not Mel
Stevie not Steve
Bobby not Bob
Ali not Alex
Ricky not Rick

Tommy not Tom
Etc

Two completely different categories of names.

You can use a shortened version without it sounding child-like

Names are important. Humans judge. Often the first thing you ask upon meeting.

Why are you having a go at everyone who doesn't agree with you?

You made a generalist comment that people judge names but names these days being given are more diverse and "unique" than ever. Not what I'd name my child but it isn't really anything to do with me and I certainly wouldn't judge someone on what their parents named them!

SpikeGilesSandwich · 18/05/2024 10:26

My DS saw a consultant at the hospital yesterday and according to his card, his name is just Ed. It says, "Mr Ed Surname-Surname MBBS, BSc, FRCS " etc.
I'll admit to being slightly surprised it wasn't Edward, Edmund, Edwardo or whatever but it doesn't make me doubt his medical prowess in any way.

Original poster
newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 10:23

Just to reiterate, the names I am mentioning are "cutesy" forms.

Melly not Mel
Stevie not Steve
Bobby not Bob
Ali not Alex
Ricky not Rick

Tommy not Tom
Etc

Two completely different categories of names.

You can use a shortened version without it sounding child-like

Names are important. Humans judge. Often the first thing you ask upon meeting.

OP posts:
KreedKafer · 18/05/2024 10:22

By contrast, I’d say it’s ridiculous to call a child, eg, Theodore or Robert or Catherine if the names you actually like are Theo, Bobby and Kate.

Original poster
newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 10:20

TheKeatingFive · 18/05/2024 08:53

I can't imagine why you'd feel strongly enough to post a thread about it. You don't like these kinds of names - fine, don't use them. 🤷‍♀️

Personally I don't see anything wrong with any of your examples. I know several Ali's and a Ricky in accounting and consulting - no one has ever batted an eyelid

A bit like the way you felt strongly enough to respond.

OP posts:
Original poster
newuser9632794 · 18/05/2024 10:19

Get a grip.

There's nothing unprofessional about the name Bobby.

They're not your children so not sure why it's any of your business.

My son is Tom, not Thomas. I'm not sure that's what will hold him back in life 😂😂😂😂

Get a grip on?

Loads of things in life aren't "our business" but we think and discuss them. That's what humans do. Similar to what you're doing responding to my thread.

In this case it would be Tommy not Tom.

@chocolateanddietcoke

OP posts:
Hobnobswantshernameback · 18/05/2024 10:13

It's hilarious how faux snobby and I know the proper way to do things some mumsnetters are
mostly utterly made up judgemental bollocks to make them think they are oooh so middle class and naice

MysteriousKor · 18/05/2024 09:57

FarmGirl78 · 18/05/2024 02:06

I was always taught that you should have a full name which will sound decent being read out in court. If you're a barrister it will make you sound like you deserve to be in such a position. If you're the criminal it will make you sound like you don't deserve to be in such a position.

Full names don't ever have to be used in everyday life. But they're good to have.

Who on earth taught you this? What an utterly bizarre notion. When I was on jury duty there was a barrister called Daisy, and I can assure you that the judge didn’t look any more kindly on the formally-named accused.

Hobnobswantshernameback · 18/05/2024 09:48

god is there anything mumsnet posters won't sneer at
its almost pathetically amusing

palmroyale · 18/05/2024 09:45

What kind of half wit calls a child 'Melly' as their official name. It's fucking awful