Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have pushed back at my boss

29 replies

spanieleyes22 · 17/05/2024 20:21

So my job involves getting people to follow certain procedures. We need certain information and it's my job to gather it and get people to give us what we need. Some had been chasing for this document. Had emailed once and got a very angry reply back. I messaged back and gently said that it was just something we needed even if he hadn't had to provide it in previous years. Another angry email from
Him. So I escalated it to my managers. I have 2 of them. Not sure why I need 2 but ....! Neither replied. So this afternoon I put it in the chat. What to so etc just leave it or: one manager was wfh the other was in the office and just to say she had been chatting and laughing really loudly for the whole day: literally since the morning at 845 she did not take a breath. So loud. Chatting with other managers. My team were all super busy and had our heads down: she said I need to email again. So I said at this stage I don't think there's any point it would be better coming from a manager. No she said: you need to email him. I pushed back again and said I don't feel comfortable emailing and chasing again. I've had 2 angry emails: it's better for a manager to step in. Then she comes over to me and starts berating me and saying why won't you send that email. And I said again that I didn't want to engage with him again that he was getting angry and if it came from a manager it would
Have more weight. I said why won't you do it? I was getting upset at this point: she said no I'm not doing it you have to. So I said fine whatever you say. It's fine. I was upset at this point and she knew it. She spent the rest of the afternoon laughing and chatting as she had been all day. Didn't see if I was ok. Basically ignored me. Wibu

OP posts:
Linlithgow · 18/05/2024 01:20

YANBU I would step in if this was anyone from my team

spanieleyes22 · 17/05/2024 20:57

Ah I don't think I will. She is what I would call "a tough cookie" and would make mincemeat of me tbh. She's v confrontational. Just for background on Tues we had a team meeting and the managers were asking each of us how we were getting on etc and I said I was feeling v overwhelmed - a team member left in March and is not being replaced - his work was supposedly divided out but in reality it's ended up nearly all shared between me and another guy. So she was saying oh you must ask for help if you're overwhelmed. But no help was forthcoming nothing more said about it. So on Thursday at 4 I realized I wasn't going to make a deadline of 10am today so I messaged both of them and said I had been overwhelmed with other tasks- mostly doing the guy who left's work - and wasn't going to make the 10am
Deadline but I would
Do my best to get it done by lunchtime. The other manager messaged back
And basically blamed me
Saying it was too late in the day now and that she was going to have to log on early and do my work for me. That made me feel like shit .so I said I would
Do my best and would most likely have it all done by 12. Everyone's work was due by 10
So she would have plenty to work on while I was finishing I wasn't holding her up. anyway nothing more said about it. She logged on about 10 mins early but didn't do any of my work. She didn't say anything to me the whole day actually. I just got on with it and got it all done by about 12. So I guess I was stressed and it was galling listening to other manager screaming laugjing and chatting all day. When she knew how busy I was and that I had asked for help. The rest of the team seem to not engage with the managers at all. So I guess I was feeling a bit vulnerable and don't want to get another angry email . I felt I had gone as far as I could and another email from me would just enrage him and not help the situation . Basically he wasn't going to listen to me. He wanted to know who had said he had to do this and he needed to speak to them and who was making these rules etc etc

OP posts:
Justbrowsing2024 · 17/05/2024 20:28

I rarely get my manager to step in, I'd just resend emails regardless of angry emails back. Sometimes I tell my manager I will copy them in if I really feel it helps but I feel I should be able to get what I need without having to go to a manager.
That being said your manager sounds like a bit of a dick. I manage a large team and understand sometimes a managers clout can help alot and if a team member said they needed the support I would do it, within reason.
What do you want to happen now. Do you want to complain about your manager? Can you?

Didimum · 17/05/2024 20:24

The first time he got angry, I would have replied CCing in your managers.