To find it expensive keeping preschoolers fed & entertained?

Yes, such a great idea which can be extended as children get used to thinking for themselves.

Children need their own time to develop self reliance, creativity, resilience and focus. They need to develop independence and problem solving.

Providing some basic resources, even free cardboard boxes gives children a chance to explore.
Keep anything they build or develop ( say in lego play) so that their ideas can continue the next day.
Support them occasionally by asking questions or adding another prop to support their play.

Providing loads of scheduled, planned and provided activities is only self fulfilling their reliance on others and limiting their ability to think for themselves.

Do they ever just play? With duplo or cars or play kitchen or whatever? Since mine turned 3 they are much better at playing imaginary games - sometimes using toys as props but often just their imagination. They're usually selling ice creams, or going on holiday or being Fireman Sam in his helicopter or a grumpy dragon like today. Often I will play alongside them for a bit but I will be popping in and out doing housework and they will be content playing their own games. I wonder if your kids might sometimes be reliant on you to entertain them and not really know how to make their own entertainment.

I haven't read the entire thread, but when mine were young, a long, long time ago, I found that two of the best activities, though maybe a little messy, were water play, either in or out of doors and a sand tray or box. I found it both calmed and occupied them . You do have to be a bit casual about the mess, though!

Oh please.
Preschool children do not need bizarre investment.
You can feed them for almost nothing if you cook food at home amd you 100% do not need to buy million gadgets to keep them.

-Going to a far away shop to buy milk. It is not fun but life is not fun 24/7.
-Bus to far away ryme time. They will survive and learn how to get on with transport.
-Helping dusting, mopping, other chores.
-Walking dog (yes in the rain).
-TV 30min a day
-Organised story/drama/art time.
-Five meals a day.
-Park in shit weather.

Between that I let them roam around for 15-30min before we move to next activity.

It can be expensive, definitely, but I think setting up expectations very early helps - for yourself and DC. So you mention things like ice cream - but you don't have to make this part of a "standard" trip somewhere. My DC know that we take a packed lunch, and ice cream/hot chocolate/lunch out is an occasional treat, not something they'd expect regularly. Soft play we just hardly ever did, because it was expensive - again, it was a treat not a regular thing. Same with days out to expensive attractions. I figured that small DC who expect weekly trips to soft play with ice cream probably become older DC who expect every weekend to involve an expensive outing and lunch out, so wanted to manage expectations from the start.

I think the more interesting stuff you do, the less they are happy with ordinary things. I find it surprising there's nothing to entertain your child at a church playgroup. Am struggling to think of toys that would be suitable for an 18 month old but not a 3 year old. If it's really that dire, perhaps donate them some stuff from.facebook or charity shop?

I limit the expensive soft play type stuff to once or twice a month and only if it's raining. Don't do zoos as too expensive, or maybe once a year as birthday treat. Free museums. Library and church groups. Swimming. Bike rides, walks, playgrounds. Lots of playgrounds. Visit friends or meet them at playgrounds. We can walk to most things in our small town which helps. Cafes are where I spend too much but otherwise I don't think it's too bad.

If you've a decent garden get set up with climbing frame, playhouse, mud kitchen and be a bit strict and make him go and play on his own.

Anyway it all gets a lot easier at around the 4.5 mark. They can suddenly do a lot of craft stuff with minimal help, rather than you having to do it all for them.

Me too, all the ideas I had but dc had no interest, could do them with nieces and nephews but not my own. So, I had to change my ideals and find ways which suited them and that was taking toy guns to parks and shooting zombies, doing role plays and playing hide and seek at home. Jist got to try and find what works for you, never easy but be open minded and adapt. Xx

I think the paid activities every morning are what's costing? What are these, are they necessary? Plenty of free activities, like playgroups run by the Council. X

Every age has its costs but also ways to cost less. The young years with good weather was parks, take snacks, so free, soft play free at that age, visiting family and friends, free, of course taking necessary food and items. Getting older costs more I've experienced, you have to pay for activities more, plus they have a voice and know the food available tastes good 😂Then the start of Interests and gaming, sports clubs etc. Not got to the teenage years age yet but can imagine the requests for money to go out with friends is going to mean more costs. 😉

It doesn't have to be expensive. I've been looking after my two today who are 2 and 4.

We went for a walk in the woods and took a picnic of sandwiches and bananas in the morning, home for littler one's naptime while older one watched a bit of Octonauts and then did some building with his magformers, and then went to the library in the afternoon. Ours has a big kids' area where you can sit and read on beanbags, they have jigsaws and colouribg etc too. Tea was pasta with pesto, leftover roast chicken and peas with yogurt and fruit to follow.

We got the bus to the library and that's all the money I spent today.

We have been through phases of doing a paid for group in the morning, like forest school or music and movement, and they're nice but they don't all work for both ages and I don't think the kids mind doing something just us. It's a bit easier for the parents to do a group as it gives the day a bit more structure.

I don’t find it that expensive. Nursery is expensive but clothes and activities are cheap. Sorry 😬

How much do you pay for a soft play? I didn't find that age expensive. Bus fares for under 5 are free soft play was around £5. Lunch was a tiny portion or could share mine.

Enjoy it OP because DS is now 9! Size 7 mens trainers and shoes. Activities are a lot more expensive now.

Every day for 20/30 minutes I tell them 'mummy is having her tea break' and they have to entertain themselves. I make tea and read my book. At the start I did have to chase them away constantly but with time they realised I was serious.

I love this, such a good idea.

wait until they are teens...

@WhySoManySocks she's got a second one already....

OP - we solved this problem by having a second child 😬 But you have to hurry so they can be interested in the same things!!

You sound like a VISA advert. “Mud=free. Sticks=free. Hashtag making memories = priceless ”.

You’re speaking to a struggling mother so some empathy would be helpful.

You are making it expensive for yourself. Lots of free stuff you can do (yes, just walks, we do at least 1 every day, go at their pace, let them look at things. You don't have to go far.) They need to learn to entertain themselves.

I found that if I got the morning in then the rest of the day just flew by. No way would I be paying for 2 activities a day.

Indoor games suggestions:

Post office/shop. They love setting this up, I play for a little while and then have to nip away to do a job. Poo back for a few mins every now and again.

Mario run/kids yoga on youtube

Free rein over the art supplies. I keep foil, old birthday and christmas cards, magazines etc for cutting up and ask for paint/glue/art supplies for presents from family (if they ask!)

A massive cardboard box can keep mine entertained for ages. Making a den under the table (especially when I let them eat dinner under there, things like hot dogs)

Little cardboard boxes for decorating homes/car garages

Paint sticks to draw on windows. Then they help me wash it off a couple of days later

They all have daily chores to do (hanging out socks, brush the floor, wash plastic dishes)

Throw a ball up the stairs to them and they throw it down to me (we still have a top stairgate).

Every day for 20/30 minutes I tell them 'mummy is having her tea break' and they have to entertain themselves. I make tea and read my book. At the start I did have to chase them away constantly but with time they realised I was serious.

It's a bit of a 'how long is a piece of string' question.

Can it be expensive? Yes.

Does it have to be? No.

It's up to you. If you and your child like being out and about, don't like the park in the bad weather, don't enjoy being at home, don't want to do the library too regularly, live somewhere where you can't walk anywhere etc. then, yes, it probably is expensive. Obviously, if you didn't have the money for these activities your children wouldn't die of boredom, they'd get used to what they had. It's optional.

I have very active children. No sedate colouring for us! They are 10 and 13 now but a decade ago he was entertained by the park and anything outdoors. I did do a couple of church groups on my non work days to get me out the house and talk to other mums. I'm in a city and the provision is very good. It wasn't a posh area and they usually had a great selection of toys for preschool ages 0-4, an activity like crafting or messy play laid out, and a good selection of snacks.

I swim and it seems most people take their dc to baby splash which is not an expensive activity. Sounds like that might be a no no for you if you live rurally.

We could spend all day in the Park, good weather and bad. We still go now as no one in my family likes sitting around at home. Jumping in puddles and picking up sticks, building dens, playing games together acting out stories or scenarios like being a shopkeeper.

We'd also go to the library, get a book and read it there. I didn't go to rhyme time past aged1. Young dc are usually just curious and happy to be out getting into stuff. A trip to the supermarket is exciting (but miserable for mum and will involve buying food they like) (I avoided shopping with them).

I'd draw the line at paid for food and drink on normal days out. Ice cream is for weekends and holidays.

As for food costs its really not as expensive feeding toddlers as adults but they are an extra mouth to feed.

It sounds like you're feeling the pinch and have too much time with them. All credit to you for doing SAHM this long. It sounds like your dc would thrive at nursery whilst you work, get a bit of yourself back and make some ££ too to spend on the DC.

If you think they are expensive now you've got a shock to come. Paid for activities get more pricey, days out are extortionate, food costs are MORE than you'd pay for yourself multiplied by number of family members as they tend to eat more than you and want more snacks. Clothes are very expensive for teens especially but it kicks in young with them wanting Nike trainers or expensive football kit. Today my dc asked him to get more "hair powder" which turns out cost £17 for 7g. I did not buy it! Their social life starts to cost you ££.

I pay for piano x2, violin x1, swimming x1, water polo x1, tutor for the youngest doing 11+, Fencing x1, football subs x1, scouts/cubs x2 plus days out and socials with all these groups and the kits and consumables and exams and competitions that these activities entail. We are a normal family, not wealthy.

Not really. When mine were little it was hard work keeping them entertained but they were happy with free or very cheap stuff. Going to the park, playing shops, walk on the beach, helping with baking, doing some playdoh or painting, walking to see the ducks or the trains.

Teenagers on the other hand....every item of designer clothing costs £100. They grow about an inch a week. They eat an entire food shops worth of food in 24 hrs and they are aways hungry. They want games consoles, game passes, iPhone and earpods, spottify membership, netflix, prime, sky etc etc. They want to go to concerts and theme parks, or DofE (fuck me the kit is expensive) to go on school trips abroad, to go out for pizza and the cinema with friends. They start eating adult portions in restaurants and decided they'd like steak. They need new bikes, surfboards, wetsuits, walking boots PE trainers, mens size school shoes, expensive Nike trainers. Toddlers cost very little in comparison.

Get a thermos cup, take your own coffee. I work FT and am extremely well paid but only buy coffee out once or twice a week.

Oh yeah I thought that would happen to me too. My eldest son wasn't having it. He did love hot wheels though so used to spend hours just driving his little cars around. I would draw a car park on a page and he would park them all in the wee parking spots bless him.

My 4 year old loves expensive activities. He’s very much over puddles and libraries and playgroups. He wants trips on trains/buses/boats to cities with interactive museums and big soft plays and cafes and shops. I used to oblige but I don’t anymore. I ride out the complaints of ‘this is boring’ when we stay at home or do something very local. I don’t want him to grow up thinking there is no pleasure in simple things. It’s really hard - it would be a lot easier for me to always take him on all singing all dancing outings. He complains a lot. But I think it’s the right thing to do as a parent.