To find it expensive keeping preschoolers fed & entertained?

Seriously ? You either have amazingly cheap childcare or you are spending an absolute fortune. Isn't childcare around £50-85 per day, per child ?

@pirateblue - I think you're focussing too much on 'entertaining' your DC, rather than having stuff around the house where they can learn to entertain themselves.

If you go to the church groups you might make some mum friends, then can arrange play dates and meet-ups at the park etc. They don't have to become lifelong friends but it might be nice for both you and your children.

Also, does your DH help pay for the children's food and activities? You've only mentioned him a couple of times, one to say he didn't realise kids cost money!

I think the difference is if you can find another parent. I had a few friends and we would walk to and from places together, say the park for a couple of hours, then back home.
I always found getting DD out for a few hours in the morning made the rest of the day much easier. Even if we went to the non local shops for something to fill the time.

Unfortunately it is boring. I can’t tell you how many times we went to the local museum and walked around and around for something to do. Getting the bus there and back. Going with another adult to speak to makes all the difference though.

You're describing my life with a toddler. We go to playgroups in church halls, the library, the park, walk in the woods, feed the ducks in the pond, wander around charity shops for a new toy, have play dates at friends houses.

It's simple and quiet and we love it. And it's cheap. It's not miserable in the slightest.

You're not willing to take on board any of PP's suggestions and you're going to end up with entitled children who think they can demand a big trip out any time they're bored. Which they will be often- it's good to leave toddlers to occupy themselves at home. My 3 year old knows how to potter about at home while I'm getting on with housework. He's content with a morning at the park and an afternoon at home because we don't drive him around endlessly to different experiences.

You should be enjoying the simple activities while they're young and easily amused, not making a rod for your own back.

It's a shame you feel that way about your church playgroups. Of course the toys will get a bit battered, but ours are lovely. The kids love it and the volunteers who run it do parties for Easter, christmas etc too. I am in a WhatsApp group of 15 other local mums with toddlers the same age as mine. We met at the church hall playgroup and we're all good friends now. Thank god for church play groups!

Wait until you have teenagers! I would say toddler years are the cheapest! (Apart from nursery costs)

There's far more than "shabby church halls". You're being narrow minded and snobby.

But that's your choice not to take kids to places like aquadromes/lakes/woods/duck ponds etc.

You're choosing the expensive activities because that's what you've become accustomed to.

But "entertaining" kids isn't an inherently expensive thing. Billions of children have been and still are perfectly well entertained for centuries without mum paying £5 to put them in an indoor climbing frame or £6 to play make believe in a pretend café etc.

I didn't have money to do regular paid activities really when mine were that age. Even swimming was a treat. As others have suggested it was things like

• city farm
• park
• walk to charity shop & buy toys
• rhyme & sign or toddler type groups
• go on bus somewhere
• annual zoo or science museum (which was Christmas present for kids)
• ice cream & walk
• library
• baking at home
• play doh/craft
• museums which are usually free

I did find DS harder to keep busy as he would just not be capable of playing at home & just had to go out morning & afternoon. It gets easier when you can do things like footie & they are old enough to have friend over. I think you should find it easier once DS is in school.

To be blunt, a lot of the issue for you is where you live. Not much you can do about it in the immediate future, but a lot of people live in places with at least one playground and a few groups/shops/facilities within walking distance and tbh with kids that does make a big difference. So it probably does cost them a lot less to entertain their children.

For us, the playground is round the corner, the nearest cafe (which does ice cream) is 3 minutes walk, a trip to the shops is 5/10 minutes walk away, the library and swimming-pool are both 15 minutes walk and the soft play is 25 minutes walk. We feel very much at the centre of a lot of things rather than having to travel to get to them. Even just walking through the town centre, looking in all the windows and choosing a cake from the fancy cake shop is quite a fun afternoon with my 6yo.

Oh and a massive cardboard box and crayons used to keep them entertained for hours. They'd make a house or a rocket colour it and then play in it.

And just to say my children are VERY active, one is happy to play and loves staying in, the other not so much so it's a constant struggle I get you!

Mine were pre-schoolers during COVID and honestly when it was raining or cold I just wrapped them up and took them for walks and the park, we'd spend hours wandering around playing on the puddles, collecting sticks and leaves for art projects when we got home. I used to have theme days with them based on books, so we'd read the book in the morning, do an activity based on that, lunch, then perhaps watch a related programme in the afternoon.

Food is costing a bomb now though but you can get cheap snacks. Days out are so expensive I will generally only do one of these in the holiday. Swimming is cheap and takes up most of the day.

It's good for kids to have free play so don't feel you have to entertain them constantly.

I’m like you OP in that I prefer to be out of the house with DD, and I do find myself relying on paid activities/ stuff a lot more that we probably should - the weather is a bit more like now so we’re doing more park trips and walks and stuff, but I’m not really a puddle suit/ standing in the park in the rain type of mum - I tried forcing myself to be a bit but nah.

We used to do a group/ activity every week day - although we’re lucky to have some good church hall type options so they were cheap enough. DD goes to school nursery now 4 days a week so there’s less time to fill (and she was getting bored of the church groups by the time she started at 3 so agree with you there wouldn’t be much mileage left) but we pack our free days and weekends pretty full.

She really isn’t any good at independent play when at home, it’s absolutely constant demands that you play with her non stop, either that or screen time - whereas when out and about she’s so much easier to entertain and happy to get on with stuff, plus we do have play date friends we can meet up with so that helps. I realise the independent play is a bit chicken and egg though as she doesn’t get much chance to do it so doesn’t practice it - but every time I think sod it we’ll have a day at home I end up regretting it!

Apologies for not RTFT, but some of the lower cost stuff we do out and about just in case there’s anything you can use (aside from park and library which we do also use but I think have been extensively covered!) -

Pets at Home or ‘the free zoo’ as I call it

Farm shops/ cafes - there’s a few round here where you also get to see some animals, or can buy a £1 bag of feed and go give it to them. Of course you then feel obliged to buy something in the shop, but I try to do this when there’s something we particularly need or fancy anyway

Get the bus/ train - even just one stop. Obvs depends on how convenient this is for you, but we can walk to train station, get the train from our village to the next one along, have a walk round there and get train back. DD finds that exciting enough! Bonus is that destination village has a (free) really nice play area within the shopping square that is more or less sheltered - not totally undercover but better than the park at least no mud!

Garden centres - one near us has a ride on train ride around the grounds that only costs a couple of quid and also some random animatronic dinosaurs for no particular reason!, another has a cafe with free soft play (obvs then you have the issue of needing to buy something in the cafe but go before/ after lunch and stick to a drink). Both have fish that DD likes to look at, and she does like the garden ornaments shaped like different animals. Only works if you can avoid being tempted to buy anything - getting harder now DD has cottoned on that there’s a toy section!

Toddler time at the cinema in our town centre - £5 for an adult and toddler (baby free) to watch eg a Julia Donaldson animation or 40 minutes of peppa or whatever. Take own drinks and snacks, parking is free for cinema customers. Worth googling if there’s a Light cinema anywhere near you as that’s the group that does this, although maybe others will have other stuff on too.

Museum - there’s one in our town centre that is, admittedly a bit shit! But has a great play space/ role play section and is free or voluntary donation to get in. Plus you can take a picnic and eat it on tables they have there. Might be something near you? There’s also better museums in the city centre but they never wind up being free/ cheap by the time you’ve factored in parking, transport etc.

Is there a mums/ parents Facebook group for your area? I find out about so many options that way - there’s so many places and events going on near us (just bog standard suburbia) that I wouldn’t have known existed without the WhatsApp group I’m in. Yes it’s a pain sometimes and there’s some random shit in there, but we’ve definitely found some really good stuff that way too.

Ultimately life is just expensive now, OP. 🤷‍♀️ I have a seven year old who eats like a horse and is growing like a weed, and whilst some of it is an age and stage thing and to be expected, overall I’m really surprised at how much I’m averaging on the basics - groceries and clothes- this year compared to 2 years ago.

God knows what it’ll be like in 5 years when I’ve got a ravenous, clothes-conscious teen and inflation keeps… inflating!

Sorry but no they don't. You have decided they do and now they expect the activities you pay for. Give them a bucket and ask them to collect bugs or stones or anything from the garden. Give them cardboard boxes and ask them to make a model. There are limitless things they can do at home that cost nothing.

For anything further than walking distance I take my toddler on the bike. He loves that. My friend has a toddler and a 7 month old. She does the same except she takes them both in a bike trailer.

The kids love it and it stretches the day out. A cycle to the library and back is a morning's activity and keeps everyone sane for the rest of the day at home.

You have to 'normalise' time spent at home, otherwise they expect outside entertainment.

But presumably you're driving to all the paid activities as well?

So why is it all if a sudden a problem to pay to drive to free activities?

You clearly don't want to do things like take them to the library, local parks/woods/lakes/bikeparks/ where ever for free. Which is fine. But don't then complain how expensive things are when you're choosing to do expensive things 🤷‍♀️

Might cycle/scoot or walk into town (1.5 miles), head to library and look at books. Go outside and habta picnic lunch on a bench, then wander round the charity shops for wishlist shopping. Let the kids round around the square, walking on walls etc. then either walk back home, or get the bus.

This is exactly the type of thing we do too.

You just don't seem to want to do the things you feel are boring? The kids won't mind going for a walk every day or the playground or whatever.

I think this is true for us but we do a lot of simple activities because I don't want to traipse around soft plays (hate them) and expensive days out. My son doesn't expect any of these things and is content with whatever we get up to- as long as it's mostly outdoors!

I didn't really find this, no. I didn't really ever do expensive stuff like soft play.

My dc were happy doing the food shop amd being the one scanning
Going to various free playgrounds
Libraries
Feeding ducks
Going to local public swimming pool
Toddler groups in various church halls etc
Visiting friends/family

Then we did lots of playing in garden/at home. Painting/crafts, toy kitchen, doctors and nurses, duplo, brio, reading stories, dancing to music/musical toys etc.

I do think its harder from 3ish when they start enjoying company of other kids but that's why preschool starts then.

It might just be a personality/temperament thing. My almost 3 year old is just as happy playing with the big box of Duplo at the library and reading some books as he is going to the aquarium. He definitely prefers it to soft play. He's happiest outdoors which makes things cheap, but it's difficult when the weather is bad.

This winter was hard. The rain was relentless but we'd stretch the days with simpler activities. So library for an hour, then a babyccino in the café (£1) with a biscuit. We did playgroups and play dates and went out with waterproofs on as long as it wasn't completely chucking it down. He likes racing through puddles on his bike. We would go with other local mums for company (solidarity!), many of them with babies strapped to them in carriers too while they're older children ran about. We'd bring flasks of tea and snacks for the kids. Glad to see the back of that weather now.

Now that the weather's better we've done lots of free/cheap things in the past few weeks: walks in the woods, out on his bike, fishing for tadpoles and little fish (we just have a look then put them back), beach, playgrounds, play dates in the garden etc.

Well, an hour if free reading is still an hour if free reading 🤷‍♀️ do you want to pay for things and complain about no money, or just do the free things even if just for an hour? We can drag these things out for ages.

Might cycle/scoot or walk into town (1.5 miles), head to library and look at books. Go outside and habta picnic lunch on a bench, then wander round the charity shops for wishlist shopping. Let the kids round around the square, walking on walls etc. then either walk back home, or get the bus.

You just don't seem to want to do the things you feel are boring? The kids won't mind going for a walk every day or the playground or whatever.