To find it expensive keeping preschoolers fed & entertained?

But it's not how it is... It how you're choosing it to be...

You know full well you have a myriad of free and cheaper options - you're choosing not to do them. And that's fine. But it really isn't "how it is".

They aren't..OP is choosing to drive to expensive activities and complaining about the cost of driving when free activities are suggested.

She's happy paying for petrol to expensive soft play, but all of a sudden she's "but petrol!" When suggestions of a walk in the woods is given 🤷‍♀️

She's perfectly happy spending her money on these expensive activities. So I don't really understand why she's complaining when she's refusing to entertain anything else.

Quite, and she is driving to expensive activities anyway.

OP just wanted to moan and didn't want solutions.

"The free ones aren't good"

I think you are again expecting the setting to entertain your child. Your children need to learn to amuse themselves, be occupied with less, just make up games with other children, or yes, life will be expensive. Soft play never used to exist and our parents managed. A lot of kids starting school now can't concentrate for more than 5 mins and its because they are used to being constantly entertained! Its not a good thing.

This thread is really making me appreciate having my dc in a city. Library trips involve a 30min walk each way or a bus ride, buses capped at £4/day however many journeys you do.
So many people talk about moving to the country for “family life” but to any body here without children yet I cannot emphasise enough how much our lives were improved by being able to walk from our door and by good bus service.

@pirateblue Do you have joint finances with your husband? You shouldn't be thinking "it's costing ME £20".
Do you get Child Benefit? 2 children will be almost £170 a month so that's quite a lot to use towards "activities".
To be honest it sounds more like you aren't enjoying being at home with them.
Maybe work full time if you think you'd be happier.
(I don't mean that in a bitchy way - being at home with babies/toddlers isn't for everyone).

I think people are being a bit obtuse about costs on this thread OP.

It reminds me of an article I saw in the Guardian years ago about ‘free things to do in Cornwall with kids’ (we were going on holiday). One of the suggestions was a farm that produces ice cream. The idea that you could take kids to an ice cream themed attraction and not have to stump up £20 on ice creams even if the entry was free 😂

It does all add up and I do think it depends on kids personalities, my DD has always been a nightmare at home. She likes being out, active. This had massive advantages (never had the stereotypical tantrums in the supermarket, ever) but did mean she just wouldn’t entertain herself for ages with a box of Lego.

This is COL crisis in action as back when I was little going to municipal pool for a swim was standard basic activity hopefully in everyone’s reach. You can spend £20 on a family of four swim near us now and that’s a huge amount with limited budget.

I combed local Facebook groups for ideas, and somethings (when the weather is nice) like a local stream with stepping stones we have spent hours there for free, I only stumbled across it though as it was near a friend’s house. Good luck!

Jeez op did you not realise kids would cost some money.?You aren't coming across great here.

I don't think that anyone is suggesting that feeding/clothing/entertaining children is free, just that it doesn't need to be expensive. There's a space between free and expensive that you could occupy should you choose to.

For example, £3 of petrol to a free activity will cost £3. £3 of petrol to a £12 activity will cost £15. It's easy to see how neither are free, but one is significantly cheaper than the other.

It's worth bearing this in mind when you argue against every free activity suggestion with 'but the petrol means it isn't free'. No, but it's cheaper. I can see where your DH is coming from!

It’s ok to have a moan about the cost of doing stuff to entertain kids, but you’re complaining about the cost of a fairly standard meal at home -come on, you’re stretching it now and losing any sympathy or empathy.

Newsflash-it costs more to feed 4 people than 2 …and I know it’s a cliché, but just wait till boys are teens-it’s eye watering

This is it.

It's not expensive to entertain pre-schoolers, it's expensive to entertain adults. You need it. They don't.

I would have treated an activity costing 12 quid that was that far away as an infrequent treat

Honestly it is hard and it is boring but you need to get them used to playing at home/enjoying a simple walk or scoot, engaging with a basic toddler group where the main appeal is playing with other 3 & 4 year olds rather than expensive toys etc.

You’re allowed to say no to ice cream etc, don’t make what should be a once in a while treat into an everyday expectation.

Not understanding why feeding them is such an expense -eat at home before/after you’ve been out

Arladae i was about to suggest this.Bil regularly takes the kids to theirs and they love it! They have their own little beds they can dig & grow stuff in

I have the answer…as an ex early years teacher and now new…allotment owner!
AN ALLOTMENT

Fabulous for developing kids interests and concentration. Shared project and joint ‘working’. Great for mental health, physical development and knowledge about nature AND provides loads of cheap food.

My rent is £18 per year!

Its very hard at first because they whinge but honestly you really do have to let them get bored and learn to entertain themselves/play creatively. Its an investment - at first its really annoying, they whinge and seem to do nothing, pester, want you to be with them constantly. But gradually they improve and then you have a four year old who'll make up their own games, keep busy with a box of lego for 2 hours, colour/draw, make things.

It helps if you:

• accept mess will happen
• are willing to do some spells of engaging with a role play etc, to "feed" in ideas
• provide open ended toys and avoid things like character themed play sets which have a limited amount you can do with them
• model concentrating on a task yourself - drawing with them, knitting while they play. Avoid being on your phone all the time while they play as it sends a message screens are the default when bored.

I don’t think it has to be? We never buy any child specific foods, of course we do need more food generally but I bulk meals with beans and veg to go further. Make cheap bakes as snacks, also to avoid ultra processed food. Ours are nursery 4 days anyway, so they’re happy to chill out at weekend, go to park, for walks etc. sounds like you live somewhere without much going on or very rural? As you mentioned driving a lot. We chose to live town centre, there’s at least one toddler group a day somewhere, 30 seconds to a playground, loads of cafes etc. and there’s always free activities at the weekends.

OP, could you ask at nursery/preschool what your eldest likes playing with there for some more ideas of what to do at home?

If he's really physical, get him into making dens or obstacle courses from the sofa cushions (we have a temporary crappy sofa just for this purpose), or buy one of those purpose built play sofas, or an indoor or outdoor climbing frame or climbing wall or swing for the house or garden?

You say you don't know anyone for playdates - have you asked at nursery/preschool who DS plays with there and got in touch with the parents? I've done this and met a couple of nice families that way, and a trip to the park with a nursery friend or a playdate at someone's house is a cheap way to spend an afternoon.