To find it expensive keeping preschoolers fed & entertained?

Plus you may just have a challenging child.

I did. Now she's 11, it's really much clearer why I struggled when she was 3.

Colouring.

Hahaha 😆

Hi OP, your son and you sound a bit like me and DD and I felt a bit similar at this age.

The problem is where you live. I live walking distance from a big town, loads of public transport etc.

I'd have gone a bit bonkers stuck in the country relying on driving too.

You seem worried about petrol costs which I understand given the fuel inflation. Do you have a big thirsty car though? I have a 15 year old diesel Polo and the fuel costs are minimal (don't ask about ULEZ though ).

You can avoid the whinging for ice cream and snacks by bringing your own and a flask of coffee. If DS, like my DD, is a master negotiator, he's probably not too young for a sinking ice cream budget on a Go Henry or similar...good life lesson!

I second the suggestion of NT or EH membership (or whatever works round you) -- pick somewhere you can go to twice a week all year and you're sorted.

And tell DH to butt out if he's not offering to take shared parental leave, eh?!

If you pay for stuff the whole time so they are ‘entertained’ constantly instead of learning to play and occupy themselves then that’s what they will expect and need. That’s your choice but you can’t really complain about it, it is an effort to have kids. I have 4 and I couldn’t have afforded to pay for activities for all of them every day. There’s a big age gap between my older son his brother then the younger 2 so sometimes trying to find stuff to do was tricky. But parks, beaches, woods etc they all loved so was easy.

They played outside, we cooked, baked, play doh etc or different parks. Sometimes we’d go to a cafe for a juice and a cupcake as feeding them all was ridiculous so we’d do a packed lunch and a ‘treat’ for good behaviour. I think the more organic activities and the free ones were much more fun for the kids than some of the paid stuff. Things are much more expensive now too, 2 of my kids are adults 1 at home and the other 2 12/14 and they cost so so much more to feed and entertain now I much preferred preschool and primary school age for that.

Baking the cookies was the morning's activity in the oven with jackets for lunch ( this was a autumn/ winter activity). Also the timing meant hopefully baby would sleep for a least part of it.

I'm sorry and this thread is making me feel really old but WFT is an outdoor playgroup and why does it cost £12 ?

When mine were this age we went for walks in the woods with friends to collect fir cones/ conkers/sticks depending on the season with a friend her DCs, some homebaked cookies and a thermos each of cocoa and coffee. Is the outdoor playgroup so different or better than this ? We nearly always met up around 1:30-2pm so lunch was done at home 1st as much easier.

Food is food
Entertainment is a choice
Most children have toys and a tablet for entertainment. Warmer days opt for the garden or park or even a museum if local, their public transport is free.
Limit take aways and impulse buys
Look at toys or books in charity shops
Libraries are great for books and using the computer too
Find out for preschoolers if they're are any sure start or children and families centres around to offer support, free groups etc

OP this is entirely a "problem" of your own making. People who can't afford to do these things manage not to do them. Either you can afford it, so crack on. Or you want to save money, then stop spending so much money on them.

Buy a bike and bike trailer and take them out on that. You're teaching your children not to be content with simpler things in life.

This morning my toddler got up at 7. So far we've had breakfast, watched something on tv, playing with kinetic sand together, he's pottered about while I get some bits done. Now he's having an early lunch and we'll head out soon for a wander in the woods and throw some stones in the stream. Try to enjoy the simpler things.

Your toddlers aren’t the problem, OP. You are. You turning your nose up at the shabby or free things everyone else uses.

My son was a fractious ball of energy at 3.5 and I had younger ones in tow, so I understand the need to keep him busy. This was the cheapest age to entertain in my experience, because the most boring thing is exciting when you’re little.

A day rider bus ticket and a packed lunch once a fortnight is A Grand Day Out for a 3.5 year old. Ride the top of the double decker playing colour bingo with cars or Nice/Not Nice by waving to people, a stop at the library to pick books and read a bit, back on the bus to a park with swings, picnic lunch, bus to the market for food (the fish mongers was an endless source of amusement - especially when there were live crabs or lobsters). Walk near the train station to either chase and annoy feed the pigeons or go to Pets At Home to say hi to the guinea pigs. Sometimes get a platform ticket to gamble on train lines (each pick a platform, each time a train come to the platform you get a 5p on your pile, winner chooses the sweet) and usually talk to a train driver or two who were very friendly to train-obsessed preschoolers.

That was our alternate Wednesday for years. I loved Wednesdays because he was knackered and went to sleep early, so it was my movie night.

Your son doesn’t need entertaining, he needs something to do. This may not be interesting to you, but it certainly can be cheap.

It's totally understandable. I'm the same. But I can't complain that pre-schoolers are expensive when most of what they do is in the 'nice to have' and not 'necessary' box. I think that's the nub of the thread. YABU because preschoolers are not expensive unless you make them so.

You could ditch the £12 activity and entertain them both with free stuff/at home for one day a week. Drop the baby activities and your activity outlay (not including transport) would be £8 a week, which isn't expensive. You choose to do more. I do too, so it's not a criticism. But it's shortsighted (and upsetting for some people) to suggest that it isn't a choice you're making.

Your children will be just as occupied and entertained "helping" with the laundry, washing up, washing the car, gardening etc.

while we COULD stay in, only go to shabby church halls, never go further than the park, that would be a bit miserable
Patronising much?? You do realise some people have no choice other than to do things like this? A farm visit or soft play is affordable once a fortnight if we're lucky or once a month. These shabby and free places are our bread and butter and certainly not miserable because we make the best of it. I can see throwing money at the problem has left you with no imagination, creativity or desire to entertain and inform and educate your children though.

Put in the graft and you'll get a lot out of it. There's millions of resources for activities to do with kids at home, but crying about how hard it is to have too tight diamond shoes is not a good look.

OMG wait till they are teens

Just let them join in with what you're doing, they love that and it's free.

myriad of free activities’. I have the option of playing at home / in the garden with toys, going to an activity which isn’t age appropriate for one of my children, and going to the park.

You make the most out of those things. And how is a toddler group not age appropriate for a toddler/ pre schooler. They are literally aimed at them.

You don't have a single town nearby?
Not a single place they can potter about?
Not a single open space/nature reserve/woods/community space?/river/lake/pond etc?

It seems incredibly unlikely ...

It

No, they are not expensive. They are happy at a play park even in the rain. Food for a pre schooler is not expensive. They have a little bit of what you are having. Sorry to tell you this but teenagers are vastly more expensive!

So £12 goes on a Tuesday. The rest of the weeks paid-for activities are only £8?

I think that's quite reasonable tbh. Just ditch the £12 group and do all the others!

But your main complaint is how expensive everything is. You are choosing to go to the expensive activities. So let's say you pay £3 in petrol and £7 for soft play. £10 total spend.

Spend £3 to go to the woods and have a free afternoon of exploring. £3 spend.

You are absolutely choosing to spend the extra £7So this is why you aren't getting any solidarity.

The activity is free.

Your transport costs aren't.

But it would be cheaper than driving to a paid for activity.

@pirateblue don't the ("shabby") playgroups do adult led activities too - like a painting table, a game like Simon Says, building the biggest Duplo tower, singing/music in a circle etc?
Most playgroups I went to had toys that the children could just play with but then play leaders (and some of the parents) would also do activities with the older children.