Miffed about how they want me to give back lap top

This reminds me of a situation I found myself in about 18 years ago which might be useful to you, OP. I was living in the UK and had a two-year wfh contract for a major German media outlet with a base in London. They supplied a computer, the software I needed to work compatibly with their systems and a high-definition laser printer that was expensive cutting-edge technology at the time. A few months in, they bought another company, reorganised and reneged on my contract. They demanded I return the computer and printer to the London office at my own expense. I lived 200 miles away and said no, they needed to collect it. They didn't. I took them to court to get a settlement and as part of their defence they claimed that I had 'stolen' several thousand pounds worth of equipment — by which they meant the printer and computer. The judge ruled in my favour. He made a point of mentioning that I had kept the equipment safe and it wasn't my fault if the company couldn't be arsed to collect it.

I got a decent payout and contacted them four times at monthly intervals to ask them to arrange to collect their stuff. I heard nothing, so I wrote to the company and the company's lawyers to say that if they didn't collect within 14 I would be disposing of their equipment. They ignored it and I sold the laser printer for £1000, which was a nice little extra bonus...

UK law applies on UK soil. Perhaps in their jurisdiction it's an employee's duty to return equipment, but here in the UK it isn't.

Don’t ship it, you will be nailed with post Brexit customs and tax duty. I had to return my work laptop to my EU based head office literally days after the rules kicked in (2021) and got a call from the UK customs to pay.
Was told that it doesn’t matter that the item was used, they would still charge me between £100-200. Luckily I got away with it because I was one of the very first people who they were calling and the lady on the phone took pity on me.

You don't work for them anymore. Tell them it's available for collection from your home. It's on them to make arrangements to accommodate.

Yes this. Their complaint was previously the expense of getting it sent back to them abroad. But the cost to send it into the city in the UK must be much less.

And if they quibble about the employee taking time to collect it, they are paying the employee for their time. They are no longer paying you.

The company should organise a courier to pick it up from you!

If you're feeling rally helpful, send them a link to this site - I use it often when I need to send laptops.
https://www.parcelhero.com/

I agree - tell them to arrange a courier to your house at a particular time and you'll be in for them to collect it.

Repeat that.

Keep all correspondence stating that arrangement, as evidence you are being perfectly reasonable.

So get them to pay for it to be collected from your home or office to the former colleague’s hotel. Do not inconvenience yourself with a 3-hour round trip.

Not remotely relevant. In this case there was a courier involved.

Email saying
"Oh good, they are only 1.5 hrs from my home so it won't be a trouble to come and collect it from my house. I'll be available between x and y on that date. Please confirm the time you will be collecting the lap top".

This has reminded me of www.rollonfriday.com/news-content/exclusive-paralegal-threatened-prison-after-refusing-return-firms-laptop - read comments.

Get the laptop back to them!

Just tell them that your colleague can meet you at the train station nearest you and you'll hand it over. Or else they can arrange for a courier to take it from your home to their hotel/venue.

That's it !

Yes this is on them to sort op, the idea of them collecting it by courier and sending it to the conference is the best in my opinion! Don’t take any nonsense!

Equipment has been couriered or posted before but at the employees expense. As I said though, the nhs isn’t really the best example and private sector is quite different.

To be quite honest a second-hand laptop isn't really worth this hassle

It's not the value of the hardware that's the issue, it's the commercial data and company systems access it has on it.

Your time isn't free. You aren't their employee any more. You do not have to give them your time for free.

Transport across to the conference venue isn't free either.

To be quite honest a second-hand laptop isn't really worth this hassle - they probably don't really want it back very much nut just don't want to write it off.

I would send an email saying "I think there has been a misunderstanding. I expected that when you said someone would collect it when next in London you meant someone would collect it from me. I am no longer an Xxx employee and my time and travel expenses are not free. (Employee name) is welcome to come to my home at a prearranged time to collect the item. If you want me to act as a courier to travel 3 hours, plus travel expenses, it will not cost ypu any less than paying a professional courier to do the same work"

Don't offer to meet half way. You do not owe them a single minute.

Tell them they can pay for the bloody courier as well. Make sure it’s COD.

Don’t do this, OP. And don’t research couriers for them or pay for one. Tell them the location does not work for you but they are welcome to collect it from your address between [whatever hours suit you] on the date in question, otherwise they will need to arrange another way to return it which does not unreasonably inconvenience you.

Give them an expensive quote for your time and ask which method they’d rather pay for

Omg, I had the same with my previous company, they asked me to bring back x2 laptops all the way to the office (different city) to be honest I should have told them that they have to arrange a pick up, at the end it's their property/responsibility, but I was also so done that I agreed to bring them.
I regret it, they did not even allowed me inside the office, my manager told me to message her when downstairs, she came, took the laptops and said bye.

Tell them to fix their own pick up, it's their property.

@TeenLifeMum

just out of interest what do you think the NHS would do about an employee who refuses to drive to a location after the completion of their employment to return equipment?

Couriers can be cheap - but this is a work laptop, presumably with company and customer data on it and access to work systems.

I used to book courier services for work laptops and it cost an alarming amount of money, because we didn't want them sat around in depots and they needed a higher level of security than your average parcel.

It is OP's responsibility to return work equipment.

I’d say it’s too far but if you arrange a courier I am home at these times for the courier to collect.
end of dialogue- if they want the laptop back they’ll do something about it

No no no no no no... You don't work for them anymore, you owe them nothing. You don't go fiddle farting to their tune across London.

Stuff the laptop in a cupboard and tell them if they want it back they organise something. Then just forget all about it.

When I left my old job they asked for some bits back but I refused to do it, they soon forgot.