AiBU to decline sun hol with relatives due to food timings?

It’s completely normal to eat lunch on holiday or any other time. They are being weird not having it. It’s fine to say I’m grabbing some lunch, it’s then up to you if you eat any breakfast. An egg in the morning isn’t going to make you fat if you did want to break your regime.
If you don’t fancy going on the holiday then don’t go.
I recently went away with a relative doing 16/8 fasting and tbh it was a pain. We had a day out one day which involved a lot of walking. I asked her if she was going to grab some breakfast before she went out and she said no which is fair enough. Then come 11am she has a funny turn, feels faint, can’t carry on and we had to look for somewhere for her to get some nutrition.
Its best to have some flexibility with food.

Do you enjoy yourself on holiday? If you don’t enjoy it don’t go. If it is purely just the eating times and you enjoy it others just eat when you want. Lots of breakfast buffets allow you to take food away with you. Just grab some and have it for lunch instead

Me neither. Just do this and let them suck it up. What and when you eat is entirely down to you.

No you do NOT have to put in more work. Being inside a body is not a moral failing.

And I a m sorry @FrogsWormsandCaterpillars . You read a thread by a woman who has extreme food issues and body issues and you say 'Yep- you are fat?' (Oh no, I'm sorry, you piously say you won't use the word 'fat' while saying fat)- then you are quite frankly a keyboard warrior who enjoys running other people down.

I'd rather be 'fat' than a nasty cow.

I can't see the issue here. When DH and I go away we generally have a hearty breakfast and don't then eat until the evening. We might have an ice cream at some point during the day.

Just have an apple or something in the day if you are hungry. Or take something from the breakfast buffet to have later (I know shock horror, it's a crime on MN to do that).

Your relatives sound like terrible holiday companions.

You're a grown up OP. Eat and drink when and whatever you like. This sounds far too much like hard work to me.

Could you go all inclusive so they can have breakfast and dinner but you can have lunch and dinner, you also wouldn't have to worry so much about sharing the wine.

The price difference often isn't much.

Tbh I would ditch the diet while away and enjoy my holiday without restriction

I follow slimming world but went on holiday 2 weeks ago and enjoy eating without thinking and drinking what I wanted - 4 lbs gained and a lovely time had by all. Yea it will take time to come off but there is no way on god's earth I'd miss a holiday because I'll gain a few pounds. And why on earth are you all cramped into the same room with relatives -surely you & DH have your own space.
Frankly the whole set up sounds weird but I can't work out if it's you or them!

Firstly if cost is no issue then get yourself your own room. Sharing with 2 adults sounds awful.

Then just set your agenda and keep to it. I don’t usually eat at breakfast time and my DM would mention it every single day if we were together but I just smile vaguely and say I’ll have something later.

DM also doesn’t drink much whereas I love a few glasses of wine. I just go ahead and do as I please because I’m an adult.

Try it, it’s great and when they make comments just say the same dull phrases, ‘yes, we’re just different really,’ ‘yes, you said that but it works for me.’

So you can't eat when you want, can't order wine when you want and have nowhere to put yours clothes but this supposed to be a holiday?

Sounds fabulous.

Sounds like the holiday with relatives will be no fun for you. To be fair it does sound a bit joyless and as though they have a lot of rules - must have breakfast, can’t have lunch, must order fixed amount of wine and no more etc. I wouldn’t go!

In the kindest way possible, if food and drink timings are controlling your life to this extent, you need counselling.
If you enjoy spending time with the relatives, don’t miss out because of this.
It would be a shame to have a relative die and think “oh I could have spent more time with them but I really wanted to skip breakfast and eat lunch”.

It sounds like you don’t really like them or enjoy their company? If that’s the case that’s a good enough reason to not go.
if they are people you will have a good time with just go and tell them you’ll skip breakfast and meet them after. I do that all the time and no one cares

Not the Stark family from Hitchin are they? Absolutely vile about anyone overweight and the sort that couldn't possibly eat a whole salad.

I do 16:8 too and I sort of get the dilemma and sort of not. I am going away with my DH and older kids next week. I will be eating to suit myself - skipping breakfast, and if the others aren't hungry at 12 noon or 1pm because they have eaten a hearty breakfast, then I'll just sort myself out.

You don't HAVE to all move en masse on a holiday. It's perfectly OK to eat separately at times if it doesn't suit you. Skip your breakfast, they can have that alone. Then have lunch whenever you want it, all have dinner together. Drink whatever you want.

Why do you have this idea that being on holiday with people means you have to do exactly what they're doing, 100% of the time?

Honestly your life sounds very, very sad if you are dictating your holidays (and your day to day life by the sounds of it) on maintaining your desired weight. Live your life 🤷🏻‍♀️

Gently, this really isn’t a normal way to look at food, it’s obsessive.

Not all eating disorders are skinny people throwing up. They start as unbreakable routines and timings and being absolutely unable to build any flexibility in when surroundings change

This is your DM and your Dsis isn't it ?

Do you actually enjoy the holiday? You don't have to go you know.
Or go and bring some protein bars, ignore their comments at breakfast and do what works for you.

👆 This

I understand your concern as weight issues are a common concern with people but I would suggest that you are very rigid in your thinking about control. You are trying to be flexible with others but deviating from how you usually do things is clearly quite stressful for you and it really shouldn't be when it comes to a holiday.

But I also recognise that other people's eating habits drive me insane and would just agree to do what works best for each individual when it comes to breakfast/lunch/snacks. After all, surely you are not spending 24hrs a day together? If you all can't compromise to work together for dinner then I would rethink if these are people that I want to go on holiday with.

YABU to let this rule your life so much that you won’t go on holiday??? You also don’t have to eat when they eat or you can compromise and eat at 7:30.

Honestly food/ weight used to take up as much hesdspace in my head as this and im so so glad it doesnt anymore. There’s being healthy and there’s this. This isnt healthy imo

Also we all share a room to keep costs down

Wait, what?! |Are you saying you and your DH share a room with a couple of other adults?

OK, never mind the food issue - that's the least of your worries. Your updates suggest that, even if you ate the way you wanted to eat, your holiday would entail you sharing a room with two adult relatives that you don't even like very much (I don't blame you, they sound awful), which is surely no fun whatsoever.

The whole thing sounds weird to me.

I think you think about food too much and in quite a disordered way…