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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AiBU to decline sun hol with relatives due to food timings?

312 replies

user1471554720 · 17/05/2024 14:29

Normally I go on hols wirh dh and 2 tween dcs in June. We go on a sun hol half board, with breakfast and dinner in a package. I always put on weight due to having breakfast, a small lunch and wine with dinner. We eat dinner at 7pm so not too late.

I am 5ft 3, 53 years old,weigh 11 stone. I follow a loose version of the 16:8 to maintain this, not eating til 12pm and eating 2 meals a day.

I don't mind putting up the weight as weather is fine over the summer and I exercise a lot with walks, jogging. It comes off over a month.

For the past few years, I have taken a second sun hol in Sep/Oct with 2 relatives one 40 years and one 70s, also half board.

I find it much harder to get the weight down after it due to winter and not able to exercise as much outside. I work fulltine and don't have loads of time for gyms.

The two relatives eat breakfast, then nothing til dinner at 8pm. I tried this and was very hungry by dinner. I suggested getting dinner early and one laughed like as if I am greedy. The correct thing for me would be to skip breakfast and eat a lunch. This would make the waiting for 8pm dinner more bearable.

I am considering not going this year, as it looks odd not eating the breakfast. If i do eat breakfast I can't fast til 8pm and eat lots of calories with 3 meals.

I don't eat out or go to pubs at home so the dinner and wine is very important to me.

Also when I go on hols with the relatives, one drinks very little. One will share wine with me and will drink more than her share. They go to pubs to get beer after but I don't love the wine in pubs so the wine with the meal is my only chance. I try ordering a different wine to them so as to get my small bottle to myself.

OP posts:
FlissyPaps · 17/05/2024 19:22

Just don’t go.

I’m sorry but you all sound mental and this set-up sounds like hell, not an enjoyable relaxing holiday.

Blogswife · 17/05/2024 19:20

You don’t have to eat breakfast , drink wine and eat heavy evening meals. You could skip breakfast, have a light lunch and a moderate dinner . Swap the wine for gin/ vodka and low calorie mixers and as you’ll be missing breakfast use the time to take a jog .

penjil · 17/05/2024 19:19

Enjoy life, OP

Time is short.

HcbSS · 17/05/2024 19:17

Go down to breakfast, eat fruit/yogurt tea and coffee and make yourself a roll/sandwich from the cold buffet to eat later.

diddl · 17/05/2024 19:16

But who would eat that early, particularly on holiday? Surely the whole point is to have a nice meal at 8 or 9 and take your time enjoying it for a couple of hours?

I probably would if I'd only had breakfast!

I prefer my main meal at lunch!

Screamingabdabz · 17/05/2024 19:14

Don’t go. Frankly you all sound ridiculous with your little rules and the horror of being seen as fat or ‘greedy’ by war generation dipsticks.

Relax. Release your girdle and live your life a bit. 🍷

quizzys · 17/05/2024 19:13

What is your AIBU then?

To what?

godmum56 · 17/05/2024 19:10

its simple. if you want to go then go and eat what and when you want to. Or don't go.

Runnerinthenight · 17/05/2024 19:10

Could you not do half board for once? I haven't done that in many years. I prefer self-catering. I don't do any catering but when I'm abroad I want to eat in local places, not in a hotel every day! We might get some cold stuff in for breakfast or lunch and have dinner out. That way you've more control!

Growlybear83 · 17/05/2024 19:09

user1471554720 · 17/05/2024 16:14

If I asked them to eat earlier, they would consider it but would make a big deal. We need to eat as user1471 is hungry and I would be the cause of it.

They told me dinner was served later in one place 7.30 on. Dinner was served at 6pm on. I like to go out walking after dinner and also take my time with dinner.

But who would eat that early, particularly on holiday? Surely the whole point is to have a nice meal at 8 or 9 and take your time enjoying it for a couple of hours?

KickHimInTheCrotch · 17/05/2024 19:08

Wow.

Have you tried unclenching for a change?

PinkyFlamingo · 17/05/2024 19:07

You and your relatives all have an unhealthy relationship with food. Trying to eat a sandwich so they don't notice you eating it, Jesus. It's all messed up. And your calmly talking about it all as if this is perfectly normal!

BettyBardMacDonald · 17/05/2024 19:06

People are missing the point. With or without the food issues, this sounds grim, grim, grim! Sharing a room with two others and no space? Not being able to drink as much wine as you see fit? Being scrutinized?

It would be masochistic to put yourself through this. Why would you even consider it?

Is this your mother and sister, or some other combo of close relatives? Don't let them put you in this position. Plan some other sort of gathering with them - city break for museums, or whatever - and get your own room. Frankly I'd give it a miss unless their attitude massively changed.

SquishyGloopyBum · 17/05/2024 19:04

Who are the family members?

I get the point others are making about you being rigid, but your fellow holiday makers also seem very rigid,

Don't go, it's not worth the aggro. Use your calories to have another hol with people you do get on with and can just be!

diddl · 17/05/2024 19:04

user1471554720 · 17/05/2024 15:37

The whole thing is in a plan so I can't just get dinner. Also we all share a room to keep costs down. The space is tight in the room and they have possessions in the wardrobe, lots of bottles in the bathroom. I had to laugh the last time and say I have nowhere to put my toothbrush and I will have to leave clothes in my case. They cleared a (small) space.

That sounds utterly miserable.

Amx · 17/05/2024 19:01

Just eat less.

ErrolTheDragon · 17/05/2024 19:00

user1471554720 · 17/05/2024 18:35

I would choose to eat breakfast/brunch at an apartment, then a dinner out every night.

My companions think the half board is handier. I think it contributes to eating 3 meals when I normally eat 2. A lot of my extended family are large. 3 meals do not suit everyone. I am in my 50s with high blood pressure so I should lose weight. It is hard to lose on 2 meaks a day and I think it is wrong to eat 1 meal a day.

I get 20k steps in when on hols. I don't get my half hour jog in as it is too hot.

Don't feel compelled to eat a meal you don't want just because it's included in the accommodation deal. There's nothing 'disordered' about regularly eating two meals a day. (What's 'disordered' is skipping breakfast and then scoffing muffins or suchlike instead of a proper meal)

I really like that more hotels nowadays give a choice of not including breakfast. If we're not going to be doing serious exercise we'd rather just get a coffee or brunch out and about.

BitOutOfPractice · 17/05/2024 18:56

You sound incredibly rigid. It’s one week a year. 2% of your meals annually.

Avatartar · 17/05/2024 18:55

Have a small breakfast and take banana, apple and boiled eggs off the buffet. The egg in shell is fine in your bag for a few hours and great way to fill up healthily on holiday- perhaps pack a zip lock sandwich bag and get a couple of salt & pepper sachets on the plane or from one of the airport cafes. Eat less at dinner if you’re putting weight on.

thaegumathteth · 17/05/2024 18:52

Don't go OP but also think about how your relationship with food is . I don't think I've ever thought so much about mealtimes etc in my entire life

chillicalypso · 17/05/2024 18:45

I know many have said this but I feel quite sad reading this. It’s 1 week you will be away for you won’t put on an insane amount of weight by being slightly flexible. Don’t have breakfast or just a drink and some fruit, smal lunch and then have a nice evening meal. Given the fact you are considering not going on a holiday due to your eating habits I do think it may be becoming a bit of an issue for you and maybe something you may need help with or at least have a look at your relationship with food.

YorkNew · 17/05/2024 18:37

You’re an adult, you need to say I’m giving breakfast a miss and will be eating lunch.

user1471554720 · 17/05/2024 18:35

I would choose to eat breakfast/brunch at an apartment, then a dinner out every night.

My companions think the half board is handier. I think it contributes to eating 3 meals when I normally eat 2. A lot of my extended family are large. 3 meals do not suit everyone. I am in my 50s with high blood pressure so I should lose weight. It is hard to lose on 2 meaks a day and I think it is wrong to eat 1 meal a day.

I get 20k steps in when on hols. I don't get my half hour jog in as it is too hot.

OP posts:
pastapestoparmesan · 17/05/2024 18:34

This is literally one of the weirdest things I’ve ever read on here. You’re an adult, right? Over 18? This means you can eat and drink what and when you want, go on holiday where you like, and with who you like. Stop letting other people control your life.

loveyouradvice · 17/05/2024 18:31

really NOT an issue... lots of people dont eat breakfast (including me) - yes, fine to have coffee/tea then ... or just extra time in bed!!

Dont make it an issue IF you want to spend time with them...on the other hand if it's an excuse, own that it is.