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Original poster

AiBU to decline sun hol with relatives due to food timings?

312 replies

user1471554720 · 17/05/2024 14:29

Normally I go on hols wirh dh and 2 tween dcs in June. We go on a sun hol half board, with breakfast and dinner in a package. I always put on weight due to having breakfast, a small lunch and wine with dinner. We eat dinner at 7pm so not too late.

I am 5ft 3, 53 years old,weigh 11 stone. I follow a loose version of the 16:8 to maintain this, not eating til 12pm and eating 2 meals a day.

I don't mind putting up the weight as weather is fine over the summer and I exercise a lot with walks, jogging. It comes off over a month.

For the past few years, I have taken a second sun hol in Sep/Oct with 2 relatives one 40 years and one 70s, also half board.

I find it much harder to get the weight down after it due to winter and not able to exercise as much outside. I work fulltine and don't have loads of time for gyms.

The two relatives eat breakfast, then nothing til dinner at 8pm. I tried this and was very hungry by dinner. I suggested getting dinner early and one laughed like as if I am greedy. The correct thing for me would be to skip breakfast and eat a lunch. This would make the waiting for 8pm dinner more bearable.

I am considering not going this year, as it looks odd not eating the breakfast. If i do eat breakfast I can't fast til 8pm and eat lots of calories with 3 meals.

I don't eat out or go to pubs at home so the dinner and wine is very important to me.

Also when I go on hols with the relatives, one drinks very little. One will share wine with me and will drink more than her share. They go to pubs to get beer after but I don't love the wine in pubs so the wine with the meal is my only chance. I try ordering a different wine to them so as to get my small bottle to myself.

OP posts:
5YearsLeft · 17/05/2024 21:19

@OhHelloMiss A “sun hol” is a sunny holiday. Usually you leave the UK and go to someplace where sun (and warmth) is guaranteed, like the coasts of Spain or Greece if you also want beaches, or Turkey. The goal is often to keep these holidays relatively inexpensive (though some people want a lot of luxury) - the goal is “sun” more than it is visiting something cultural, or going on a tour. That’s why all-inclusive (AI) resorts, that provide everything you need, including all your food and drink, are very popular for this. @merryhouse’s comment was a bit unkind, and she was saying she thought you should understand the meaning of “sun hol” because of the way that it was used in a sentence (context).

@merryhouse Don’t assume everyone has had the same experience as you, and English may not be their first language. Who knows.

Mummyslittlegiraffe · 17/05/2024 21:14

How about committing to swim for 30 minutes or go to the gym everyday/other day? I hear what you are saying and putting on weight whilst I’m on holiday scares the shit out of me.
I get around this by not drinking too much (not a big drinker so this is easy), and exercising everyday, which tbh I enjoy.
I also make sure I fill my plate with salad/veg, good protein and only pick the carb option if I really want it. I don’t have the same restraint with desserts!!

Littlestminnow · 17/05/2024 21:10

Crunchymum · 17/05/2024 14:39

You seem to have quite a warped issue with food and wine?

Why is dinner your "only" chance to have wine? If someone else drinks "more than their share" Why don't you order more?

Are you seriously saying there is absolutely no wine in any pub that you will drink?

Why can't you eat 3 meals? Or pick lunch instead of breakfast if you are only wanting two meals?

This. Why not just eat and drink what you want, just don't over indulge. I don't think you realise how messed up your relationship to food is.

AskingAdviceToday · 17/05/2024 21:05

Why are none of you eating three meals a day? Don't you all get very hungry!

Outlookmainlyfair · 17/05/2024 21:04

You can do or not do whatever you want. Why go if it does not make you happy, besides you seem to do all the compromising to fit in with them.

Greenandblue1988 · 17/05/2024 20:52

I actually think you're not the problem but your relatives are. I would hate to be dictated what I can eat on holiday and when to that extent. It doesn't sound enjoyable so don't do it.

Pixilicious1 · 17/05/2024 20:52

Honestly, don’t go. The whole holiday sounds like a chore you don’t want to do so just decline their invitation.
too much like hard work

brunettemic · 17/05/2024 20:51

Your problem is you subscribe to another of these insane theories about diet and health then when you eat more “normally” you perceive it to be bad and put weight on, not the holiday.

Viviennemary · 17/05/2024 20:45

Just go out on your own for a light lunch to keep you going till 8 pm. And just have a coffee and something light at breakfast. It would be silly to miss the holiday if you usually enjoy it

MaryFuckingFerguson · 17/05/2024 20:44

I can’t imagine being this fixated on what i was going to eat and drink and at what time. Sounds bloody awful.

drusth · 17/05/2024 20:37

badatdecisions · 17/05/2024 20:03

that's a myth.

mostly because standard advice dictates xyz calories per day without consideration of height or age so people just say "metabolism" because they don't realise they're overeating.

actual calorie intake for short women is the same as a 10 year old boy's.

Show quote history

Bullshit.

drusth · 17/05/2024 20:36

YANBU. I put on 10 pounds in the two months after a holiday last August and I still can’t shift it.

Do what works for YOU, not these people who treat you as if you’e greedy.

User0224 · 17/05/2024 20:35

Hey OP. Just my two cents, but from experience, if your eating habits are starting to affect your relationships and social plans, to the point that you’re having to miss out on entire events, you’ve very possibly entered disordered eating territory. I hope that’s okay to say on here. You just remind me a lot of myself a few years back.

Original poster
user1471554720 · 17/05/2024 20:34

badatdecisions

No need to be smug. I said before my extended relatives are large and eat normally. My mother, who is thin, is often surprised at how little and how healthy I eat. I am 53. I cannot lose weight unless I eat 1 neal a day and exercise for hours. I work fulltime.Between that and housework I don't have hours to exercise.

OP posts:
Cliedi · 17/05/2024 20:27

Christ this holiday sounds miserable. What do you enjoy about it?

katepilar · 17/05/2024 20:25

Growlybear83 · 17/05/2024 19:09

But who would eat that early, particularly on holiday? Surely the whole point is to have a nice meal at 8 or 9 and take your time enjoying it for a couple of hours?

Show quote history

As if everyone wanted to eat this late and dine for hours. Surely the whole point is that everyone eats as it suits them.

LocalHobo · 17/05/2024 20:25

I’ve seen a lot of things called first world problems before, but I’ve never actually seen one with my own eyes before now.
OMG yes!!!
Unless you are currently serving in a role that will ensure the survival of Planet Earth, and carrying an extra 3Ib will mean you can't fit in the necessary seat on this vitality important mission, enjoy the bloody breakfast.

Noseybookworm · 17/05/2024 20:15

You do seem a bit fixated on food, wine, mealtimes and weight gain to be honest. As others have said, you don't have to eat breakfast and can have a light lunch if you want to. It sounds like you just don't really want to go away with your relatives and are looking for excuses. If that's the case, just don't go but fussing about mealtimes seems a bit petty and obsessive.

LondonFox · 17/05/2024 20:13

user1471554720 · 17/05/2024 18:35

I would choose to eat breakfast/brunch at an apartment, then a dinner out every night.

My companions think the half board is handier. I think it contributes to eating 3 meals when I normally eat 2. A lot of my extended family are large. 3 meals do not suit everyone. I am in my 50s with high blood pressure so I should lose weight. It is hard to lose on 2 meaks a day and I think it is wrong to eat 1 meal a day.

I get 20k steps in when on hols. I don't get my half hour jog in as it is too hot.

Can you make yourself a sandwich from breakfast materials and eat it at lunch?
That way you can have two paid for meals at time that suites you and skip breakfast.

I hated breakfast included in price untill I discovered it is perfectly reasonable to pack food I paid for and eat it at different time of the day. Due to my work I normally skip breakfast,maybe have something snackish/light for lunch and enjoy lush dinner when all my days work is done.

Pollipops1 · 17/05/2024 20:09

If your diet/food choices are controlling your life to the point you can't go on a holiday, then I think you need to reconsider your approach. Food shouldn't control your life

This

I don't eat out or go to pubs at home so the dinner and wine is very important to me.

You only eat out when on holiday?!

thenightsky · 17/05/2024 20:06

Three's a crowd OP. Don't go with people who don't even leave you space in the room for your clothes and toothbrush.

badatdecisions · 17/05/2024 20:03

LuckySantangelo35 · 17/05/2024 20:00

@badatdecisions

you are wrong

do you not know that some people have slower metabolisms than others?

Show quote history

that's a myth.

mostly because standard advice dictates xyz calories per day without consideration of height or age so people just say "metabolism" because they don't realise they're overeating.

actual calorie intake for short women is the same as a 10 year old boy's.

Vegandiva · 17/05/2024 20:03

fridgegrazer · 17/05/2024 19:59

Your relatives sound like misery gutses and judgy pants. I don't understand how going away with them would make you happy. One of them guzzles most of the wine in a sneaky way and then they only grudgingly give you a tiny space in the room which you have to share with them FFS. How nightmarish! And that's before they start making or implying criticisms about your weight/how much you eat/drink etc. Honestly, they sound horrible. I would hate a holiday like this. I think you should thank them for the invitation (if that's what it is) but say that this kind of holiday doesn't work for you any more.

All of this, do not go, as well as what @fridgegrazer said your eating plan / timings sounds much more reasonable than theirs. And eating dinner at 6 pm is much better than eating at 8/9 because you need to digest your food before bed or it will affect your sleep. I cannot believe going is still even a question!

Onwardsandonwards · 17/05/2024 20:02

Goodness everyone is so rude!! Do some people get pleasure from piling on to OP and sanctimoniously declaring she food issues and must be awful to go on holiday with? She’s asking for advice…so give the advice or go and watch Selling Sunset / scroll on!

OP I am a faster too - I’m very healthy and have a great relationship with food and exercise, I just like being slim and understand what I need to do for that. So sorry if that offends anyone!

When we go half board I have just black coffee with breakfast to avoid breaking the fast, but I have to have lunch. I know we’ve paid for breakfast, but I’d rather skip it most days and not put on too much weight over the two weeks.

Also I don’t drink normally so yes the wine with dinner in Italy feels pretty special, and I look forward to it!

OhHelloMiss · 17/05/2024 20:00

@merryhouse what you talking about?