AiBU to decline sun hol with relatives due to food timings?

OP - I get it. Apologies, haven’t read the full thread but everyone is different and the posters who tell you to eat less / drink less are not really very empathetic.
Many people have food styles - and I call it that deliberately, it’s not a food problem. It’s hard enough living in this world and staying slim when 80% of a supermarket is full of rubbish food. Good luck to those who can but perhaps the stats on obesity in the U.K. are slightly more relevant than a Mumsnet scolder.
I think it’s sad that your relatives aren’t more forgiving and go with your flow. What’s normal here - a fixed dinner at 8pm? Not really. The space in the bathroom etc all point to more than a “food” issue. They’re taking your space, think it’s fine to drink your wine (secretly) - it’s just all a bit unacceptable and not really that nice. And then joke if you make other suggestions. If it makes you even the slightest bit uneasy just say sorry this year it won’t work for me - I love our time together but will leave it this time. No other explanation needed - just say that over and over to them; no need for an elaborate reason.
Also, I can’t stand wine in pubs! I’ve done many wine courses and am now semi-professional and perhaps 1 in 20 pubs in the U.K. serves a decent glass. If you have to, go for the Rioja! X

You're an adult act like one and eat and drink as suits you!

Your relationship with food is worrying, and intermittent fasting especially. Why are you letting it dominate your life? Just eat when the others do but stop before you're full. Drink what you want when you want, it's up to you. Stop making a big deal about food, enjoy it but don't overdo it.

Just eat when you want, it’s your holiday too. Can’t see this being a tricky matter tbh. They have breakfast , you have lunch, you all have dinner. Lovely.

This ^
OP, I haven’t read the full thread but I have read all of yours. For the reasons articulated by this PP, of course you’re not unreasonable to not go. I’d be the same in your shoes.

However - and I presume this has been suggested above - if this is the sole reason for you not wanting to go (and frankly it doesn’t sound like this is the case), why don’t you not go for breakfast and just suck up the cost of a salad at lunch at 1pm say, and have dinner at 8 with the relatives.

I love a nice hotel and for the most part they are B&B. I always feel hard done by because I rarely eat breakfast so never get to avail of something I’ve paid for. My husband and DC love a good breakfast so room only is never an option. good luck with whatever option you choose.

I would decide how much you want to spend time with these relatives. If you do think it would be nice to stay in touch this way why don't you explain you need to keep your weight down and that you want to have an early lunch/late breakfast/brunch at 11ish so you do not want them to be included in the breakfast. Then at 11ish just make sure you eat something - whether it's a sarnie or a salad - something light but sustaining and then you can enjoy your evening meal. If these rellies are really judgemental about what you eat and drink I'd think twice about travelling with them.

I've read all the op's thread and agree.
This holiday sounds utterly joyless.
Food is one of life's joys.

If you gain 7 pounds in a week that’s 3500 extra calories per day than your body needs.

I also struggle with my weight and do 16/8. I also find I need to exercise to lose weight.
Given how many steps you are taking I would think that you are consuming quite a lot of calories to gain 5 to 7 pounds over the break. Where can you trim some of them? Your easiest hit is to skip breakfast since you don't want to eat breakfast anyway.
Can you book without half board? If not just state that breakfast doesn't agree with you. They will give up pushing you after a couple of days.
Get your sandwich for lunch.
You have two more difficulties, the time you eat in the evening and the wine. I wouldn't try to shift dinner time because it impacts on others. Is there a small snack that you can eat before dinner that would get you through to 8.
When it comes to dinner can you find some easy ways of reducing calories, you said that your companions eat small portions. It sounds like there is some wriggle room.
The above might enable you to drink the wine you want even if you have to skip dessert.

It's not the food timings, it's that these people are performative, judgemental and sometimes downright obnoxious about food and body size. You won't have a good time because they'll be making you constantly stressed about eating and weight and you won't be able to just do what works for you in peace. Honestly it isn't normal to be giving this much thought to what and how you'll eat on holiday, and it seems you don't feel you have to when you go with your husband and kids...just these people.

Just don't go, it will be awful. They're terrible company. It'll be stressful and joyless.

A voice of reason. I agree OP, don't go away with people who are mean and judgemental about people's habits and appearances. Your relatives sound like arseholes. Go on the holiday your enjoy and tell the others to have a nice time without you.

Honestly, you seem to have a lot of issues with food and alcohol, to the point where it is ruining even the concept of a holiday.

Under nourishing yourself won't make you lose weight. You have to give your body enough fuel to function. Also... exercise isn't a direct link to weight. Calories in vs calories out + exercise is a very outdated and unscientific approach.

I think you need to educate yourself on how the body works. Begin with the Glucose Goddess, Ultra Processed People and the Obesity Code.

'Wine is pubs is rotten'... erm... you know it's just the same wine, opened and decanted in the same place, right??? I live in a wine region, and we have attended many events where wine is drank, in many different venues. But again, I refer you to suggested food and drink issues. If you cannot possibly enjoy yourself without wine, this suggests an alcohol problem that goes beyond 'having a little treat'.

Ask for a packed breakfast and eat it at lunchtime if you must. Or... as an adult, eat the food you want to eat on your holiday without worrying that your relatives will think that you are weird. They obviously want to go away with you because they like your company (despite food obsessions!).

Could you go for breakfast and dinner, and buy some bread, jam, crisps for. unch. You can losr the weight when you get home.

No bloody wonder either with these relatives.

Yes you can have a looser routine on holiday but OP doesn't want to loosen it.

Kindly, you seem to have issues around d food you may need to work through. You’re allowed a looser routine whilst on holiday.

Holidays and outings are meant to be enjoyable and fun. This one appears to be causing you stress. Maybe skip it or reschedule it for April/ May where you still have time for your exercise regime at the end of it . Up to you. I’ve travelled with friends who were on more rigid diets/eating plans than me and it didn’t bother me in the least.

It seems like these people are not worth the time. You aren't declining a holiday due to food. It is because of how these people make you feel. Skip the holiday. You relationships with these people sounds weird, fake and controlling. What culture are you from?

Just make sure you have healthy snacks that you can eat between breakfast and dinner. I have to admit if I eat a high protein breakfast, like a full English no toast/bread, I don't need to eat until dinner time, but I prefer to skip breakfast, like you and eat high protein lunch and dinner.

Well done for managing your weight so well! I'm trying to shed hence high protein foods - it surprised me just how full you are. I've had a few days this week where I have only eaten 1 meal all day so hoping the blubber starts to fall off soon, lol!

tbh, they don't sound very loved

don't eat breakfast if you don't want it
drink less wine, or obsess less about claiming your share, if you're concerned about putting on weught.

OP, losing weight isn’t all about steps and cardio. Lifting weights and training will get you better results.

Don’t beat yourself up for having wine on holiday. You’re on holiday. You’re supposed to relax and eat/drink what you want!! Just don’t make it a habit of having wine throughout the week at home.

@5YearsLeft yes, I was unsure if we were talking about a 'sun holiday' from the newspaper The sun! Hence asking op....

@merryhouse can bugger off with the stupid comment, not a great look for her.

I only have two meals a day my first one at 1.30 or as late as possible, it works for me. I would ask at the place you are staying at (because of medical reasons- your diet) to have a packed breakfast. You can then eat it later at a time that suits you. When your friends have their breakfast just drink unsweetened black coffee or tea.
I mustn’t eat food for an hour after I have taken the medicine I have to take each morning so it seems quite reasonable request.
I also carry a banana and a flask of mint tea in my bag for a snack but I wouldn’t like to reverse the hard work I have done to loose weight with wine and ice-creams.

Really Mumsnet. Is this an appropriate advert?
On a thread about obviously disordered eating habits?

Totally insoluble problem. No suggestions at all.
Smaller portions perhaps?

@canp literslly nobody ever got obese by eating fruit at the wrong time of day. Just use your noodle.