AiBU to decline sun hol with relatives due to food timings?

You don't have to be around people who comment on other people's bodies, or miserably share a room or engage with them in scrutinising meals. Enjoy life without spending time around people like this.

Sweetheart. I also have hyper critical relatives so I get this to a point. I have literally not attended a funeral of one of my aunts because I knew others there would comment on my weight.

If it is this bad then don't go on holiday with them. Go on a different holiday. One that does not stress you out.

By the way 11 stone is not fat. Being generous of boobage is not fat. Even if you were fat this is not a moral failing.

Oh the things we put ourselves through. ❤

OP- food timing food issues aside it sounds like these relatives aren't people whose company you enjoy, or who you can tell that their opinions aren't welcome.

Posters can bang on about how you shouldn't listen to your relatives, or let them upset you, and that you should eat what and when suits you. However it sounds like realistically you're not going to be able to do that, and the reality is that you will feel uncomfortable, judged and pressured.

IMO a holiday with these dynamics isn't worth going on and you should skip it.

Can't they go to breakfast without you if just a drink is too much for you? Why do you care what they think?

Can you book room only to not waste money on a breakfast you don’t eat, then let the others have breakfast without you, you grab a sandwich for lunch, and you then all go for dinner together?

They sound terrible. So maybe don’t go because they aren’t nice people to spend time with. But it sounds like you’ve internalised their values too, and whether you go or not it would be good for you to find a way to laugh at them rather than take their shallow judgeyness so seriously. By all means pay attention to healthy diet and weight but it’s not shameful to be a pretty normal size or even overweight and it’s not morally virtuous to be extra slim. It is morally dubious and complicated vacuous to care about nothing else though!

This can’t be real surely?! All this angst over a few days.

I have fasted for years, a week or two
off really makes sod all difference long term.

Go on holiday with people you like and then eat and drink what you like, when you like and bloody unclench.

You are really overthinking this.

Take the focus off the food and onto the actually holiday itself.

Sounds like the breakfast is the issue- why don’t you just say you’ve been given advice by a dietitian not to eat breakfast and you’re not bothered about the money as it’s such a good deal overall.

I would not go on holiday with anyone who likes to point out overweight people they see.

Well you either want to go on this holiday or you don't. Don't make the decision based on food. If you always have a good time otherwise and want to go then I would say go and lose the weight after, you could take some snacks to have at lunch or take some fruit at breakfast to eat later.
But if you just don't really want to go anyway then just don't.

It's supposed to be a holiday!

Eat what you want, drink what you want, don’t worry about what other people think about it, don’t go on holiday with people who police what you’re eating/ drinking or make you feel bad about it.

If you otherwise enjoy the holiday just say ‘I don’t want breakfast, you guys go ahead. Yes I know it’s paid for but I don’t want any.

I do want lunch, you guys don’t have to. Not greedy no. Just eating when I’m hungry, which is now.

I’m ordering this wine, do you want some too in which case I’ll order the litre rather than the half litre - don’t be silly I’m not being greedy you always drink at least two glasses and I want two too so might at well order enough’ etc etc.

Or don’t go - but it’s not so much food timings as the fact the people you go with sound annoying and judgy.

This
Life is too short and food is one of the joys.
No one comes between me and my nosh.
I keep my weight balanced by walking- couple of miles a day - including winter.

Why does it matter so much what they think?

Can you book room only or dinner only?

If you don’t feel comfortable stating your wants and needs (what you would like to eat/ when you would like to skip meals) to your relatives, maybe you’re not close enough to them to join them on holiday. Don’t let their comments about your food, determine what YOU do.

I say this as someone who is quite strict about what I eat, your life sounds utterly miserable. You should be able to deviate from such strict eating regimes for a week or two a year. If you can’t there’s bigger issues at play imo

You can eat whatever you want, whenever you want. If your relatives are going to be making issues about it constantly while you are away then I understand you are not wanting to go.

I think be a bit flexible. Have healthy breakfast with them with protein and fruit/veg e.g. omelette and some fruit. Get yourself something at lunchtime to tide yourself over and then enjoy the evening meal with them (or don't go at all)

If you don't want to go, just say so, you don't need to make up reasons.

You can eat whenever suits you.

You need to learn the womanly art of not giving a fuck. Why is everyone else allowed to drink more wine and comment on food but you're not? Just say what you want and stick to it.

It's a ridiculous reason not to go away.