Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Fiancée going to Ibiza minus her engagement ring

255 replies

Amibeingcheated · 17/05/2024 14:18

My fiancée is going to Ibiza without me and plans to leave her engagement ring at home to keep it safe.
is this a reasonable thing to do?
AIBU ~ it’s fine she is just keeping it safe
IANBU ~ don’t trust her

OP posts:
Blogswife · 17/05/2024 19:25

I lost mine on holiday ( actually think it was stolen on a boat trip) I was devastated and it ruined the holiday., to make matters worse I found I wasn’t covered on insurance . I never take valuable jewellery away now .

fromtheshires · 17/05/2024 19:21

Sorry but if this was a woman saying her man was leaving his ring it would be a whole other bunch of posts and pitchforks would be being sharpened ready for the lynching of the cheating bastard as theres only one reason to take a ring off blah blah blah.

@Amibeingcheated i assume you're a man and if so look at the threads on here where the gender roles are reversed and see what the responses are on them threads.

Personally I don't wear any rings due to my job and my wedding ring sits in its box in a drawer so have no skin in this thread other than to address the double standards.

StormingNorman · 17/05/2024 19:18

If I was planning to cheat in her shoes, I’d take the ring with me and leave it in the hotel safe. I would not be giving you any signs I was about sleep my way round the white isle.

It’s precious to her and she doesn’t want anything to happen to it. I never take my good stuff abroad. Travel insurance generally wont cover it.

Userjal · 17/05/2024 19:17

Wow, imagine the outcry - married man going to Ibiza and leaving his wedding ring at home. He’d be able crucified.
yet this poor guy is getting a hard time

bluetopazlove · 17/05/2024 19:13

Having been a victim of crime in a holiday island I wouldn't be taking my good stuff either it's just not worth it .I even had to have my good cosmetics in the apartment safe . See how a court a court case ruins a holiday .

Isometimeswonder · 17/05/2024 19:06

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/05/2024 18:33

I'm obv the only One who finds weird then

I don't take my wedding or engagement rings off ever

Been on many holidays and never been an issue with sun sea swim sand suncream etx

I think it's also a worry about losing them or being stolen.

Isometimeswonder · 17/05/2024 19:05

I never take nice jewellery away. I just wear a cheap ring on that finger.

Barleysugar86 · 17/05/2024 19:01

One of my friends was mugged for their wedding ring while standing outside a hotel for a smoke late at night. They were understandably distraught and the replacement they have now never really filled that gap for them. So this sounds potentially quite sensible. You either trust her or you don't, and I can't imagine having a ring on will make a lot of difference to the guys who might try hitting on her.

RacketsAndRounders · 17/05/2024 19:01

I think you should sow her this thread so she can reconsider marrying someone so possessive, insecure and mistrusting.

RacketsAndRounders · 17/05/2024 19:00

Do you really honestly think she's planning to travel miles to shag around for a week?

Women leave rings at home because the are expensive.

A ring is supposed to be a token of love, not a sign to other men that she already has an owner.

FourOfDiamonds · 17/05/2024 18:58

I wouldn't take my engagement ring on holiday to keep it safe

BeeDavis · 17/05/2024 18:57

I went on a hen do to Marbella and didn’t take my engagement ring as I didn’t want to lose it! 🤷🏻‍♀️🤷🏻‍♀️

SJC2015 · 17/05/2024 18:37

Perfectly resonable. Some people dont like taking expensive sentimetal jewellery abroad. If there is lots of beach or swimming it would probably just end up being off all the time and maybe she is worried about misplacing it. At least if its at home she doesnt have to worry her whole holiday.

I have a silicone wedding band to wear in situations I dont want to wear my engagement and wedding rings - gym, swimming, beach. Its a permanent feature at the moment as my fingers are too fat ( im too fat).

Georgyporky · 17/05/2024 18:34

Only read the OP's posts, but did she volunteer the info, or was she asked ?

Blondeshavemorefun · 17/05/2024 18:33

I'm obv the only One who finds weird then

I don't take my wedding or engagement rings off ever

Been on many holidays and never been an issue with sun sea swim sand suncream etx

C8H10N4O2 · 17/05/2024 18:22

Amibeingcheated · 17/05/2024 15:16

Thank you everyone
it’s for real but more of a concern than belief she will cheat.
it just stuck me as odd and wanted to get some female opinions.

So you want her to have a badge or mark labelled "taken"?

Do you wear a badge or mark labelled "taken".

Women in general do not take jewellery of significant value on holiday. Wedding rings are the only rings I've ever taken on holiday and not even that sometimes.

Perhaps you need to learn more about women and not marry someone you don't know.

crumbpet · 17/05/2024 18:17

Amibeingcheated · 17/05/2024 18:05

No. It’s a name change and was just an easy option.
I am really relaxed and just intrigued.

Show quote history

Right..

Original poster
Amibeingcheated · 17/05/2024 18:05

WeeOrcadian · 17/05/2024 16:30

Are you usually as insecure as your username would suggest?

No. It’s a name change and was just an easy option.
I am really relaxed and just intrigued.

OP posts:
NoTouch · 17/05/2024 17:59

If you don't know her well enough by now to KNOW she is committed to the relationship and wouldn't cheat on you then you need to reconsider your wedding plans as it doesn't bode well for either of you.

Marriages do work long term unless both parties are committed to each other and know it is mutual.

crumbpet · 17/05/2024 17:53

FineWordsButterNoParsnips · 17/05/2024 14:21

Your username implies you don't trust the woman you plan to marry?

I didn't clock that!

category12 · 17/05/2024 17:53

elevens24 · 17/05/2024 17:39

I never take my rings off , unless I'm cleaning them (rarely!), neither does my dh. Why would someone take their rings off?

Cos they're worried about damaging them or losing them or I guess if they're very expensive being targeted by muggers.

My mum always took her rings off when doing the washing up or gardening or swimming. I used to wear mine all the time, but mostly cos I couldn't get them off after I'd fattened up a bit. 😂

crumbpet · 17/05/2024 17:52

If you don't trust her then yeah she should take the ring off and not marry you

Mayorq · 17/05/2024 17:51

In for the reverse thread and the mental gymnastics

Choochoo21 · 17/05/2024 17:50

She could have taken it with her and then taken it off on the plane, if she was up to no good.

The fact that she was upfront about it is a good indication that she just doesn’t want to lose it.

This wouldn’t worry me.

PoochiesPinkEars · 17/05/2024 17:46

Very sensible, my bil lost his wedding ring in the sea on holiday. You don't feel it come off in the water.