To think that men get a ridiculously bad rap on this site?

Oh the poor poor men. How difficult life is for them.

no, they don’t get a bad rap on this site. In fact, I think the posts here are quite restrained.

If you had been through a fraction of what I’ve been through with men, you would be embarrassed for making this post.

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/4306129-aibu-to-think-that-all-men-are-a-bit-shit?flipped=1

Again, who said all men are crap?

I'm retired now. When I was younger I was bullied a lot I've never been comfortable with other women. I was a bit of a recluse so didn't really have much experience of men regarding them with the same suspicion. Only met my OH through my brother. It may sound sad but its that small group of friends based around my husband and brother that still form my friendship group. I still dont really like people in general. Though these days quite a few of my daughters friends tend to see me as almost an aunty, seeking my advice though often just an ear to listen.

Yup. Bearing in mind that rape is the most under reported crime. Estimates are that only around 20% of rapes are actually reported. Many people then don't want to go to trial due to having to re live the trauma. Actual convictions, therefore are depressingly low.

Yup. That minority are pretty busy

Women in happy relationship don't post "my dh didn't do the shopping when he was supposed to" then seriously consider any demented response saying "well, he's an arsehole and you should leave him"

Women in happy relationships don’t make posts complaining their partner forgot to do a chore full stop. They just talk to their partner and get them to get on with it not set them up for a bunch of people online to slag off.

Some people feel the need to be in a relationship, though
And they don’t want the bar set to high? 🤔

I agree, I'm in my 40's now and I see my friends and others getting divorced and supposedly great husbands just up and leave their wives and children because of affairs, or leave their wives/girlfriends because family life is too hard. You see it more as you get older and I have no time for shitty men anymore.

On your last point, I agree to an extent but there are a myriad of reasons why women stay in abusive relationships and it's far from the. Letting them treat them like shit.

Though from reading mumsnet I'd say women tend not to have high standards initially or they wouldn't have married the dead beats.

Well yes, a lot of us get caught up in rubbish relationships. Thankfully I learned how to get out of it here.

Which is good, we all need standards. Though from reading mumsnet I'd say women tend not to have high standards initially or they wouldn't have married the dead beats.

Married men live longer than single men.

Neither a good or bad thing, as long as you're enjoying your life does it matter.

Normal behaviour is not touted as abuse.
Abuse is touted as abuse and rightly so. Women in happy relationship don't post "my dh didn't do the shopping when he was supposed to" then seriously consider any demented response saying "well, he's an arsehole and you should leave him"

All people mostly want support, affection and effort in a relationship. If you're not getting that as either a man or a woman then you'll be in an unhappy relationship.
In my experience, many women provide this and men don't.

68000 rapes reported to the police last year. Let that sink in. Namalt but too many are, that figure is shocking!

It's not the OP necessarily that is the problem. It's the massive dumping on him from the forum. Normal behaviour is touted as abuse. Grumpiness or gruffness is abuse. Asking to have sex is abuse. Being moody is abuse. Not thinking of the woman 100% of the time is abuse. It's frankly misandry. The same behaviours are also seen in women and yet these are always blamed on the man for not pulling his weight even when a poster says he does much much more than she does.

One of the best things about mumsnet is the high expectations women have of men. So women are told to ditch the rubbish ones.

It's much better than the old accepting "oh they're all a bit selfish etc, but what can you do?"

Relationships are better for men on average than women. Married men live longer than single men. Evidence suggests it's because their wives encourage better health behaviour. Here's an Irish article but there's plenty of UK research on it.

emdoc.ie/do-married-men-really-live-longer/

I think it's that way because most people who post are coming here for thoughts and opinions on specific issues they are having, so it's mostly negative. I do think some mumsnetters automatically give men a hard time, but on the whole I think most are fair. On the odd occasion a man comes here for advice, you can see who is being fair, and who isn't, quite clearly.

I wonder how old you are OP? I'm in my 60s and have to admit that the older I have got the more I have grown to dislike men in general. When I was younger I suppose I did buy into all the gender role stuff and now after years and years of seeing how my life has been affected by living in a patriarchal society I do find men to be a huge disappointment in general. I have a husband who I love and an adult son who so far seems to be shaping up to be a respectful, kind husband and father but to be honest, I do think that men have a huge sense of entitlement and most of them believe themselves to be superior to women. Some of them just hide it better!

As for the awful and abusive relationships that are often reported on here, I have always told my 2 daughters that men only get away with treating women like crap because women let them. If we don't stand up to it, nothing will change

making silly generalisations like 'relationships are better for men than for women' etc. Depressing, inaccurate

https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/marriage-and-mens-health

life and relationships would be more beneficial for all if sexual violence was eliminated but I supposed it might be accurate silly to point out the statistics on which sex commits what %

But there is absolutely that balance if you look at MN as whole! Lots of examples of posters talking about the great men in their lives.

The solution to other posters sharing their awful experiences with an OP going through a rough time isn't for those people not to share. The solution is instead for this apparently vanishingly small yet by the sounds of things highly active, group of shit men to pull their socks up and stop treating women in their lives so badly.

Unhelpful to women who are in bad relationships to be told that 'they all suck'. It just is so relentlessly negative and actually might lead a woman in such a relationship to think 'better the devil you know'.

Being in a relationship is not the be all or end all, so your premise is skewed.