School run mum

I was thinking the same. Is this really what goes on at the school gates these days? Talk about creating drama where none exists……

I’ve sent you a PM.
Top right of the screen you’ll see a black dot near ‘active discussions’ Just press it.

apologies OP for the derail think EAI is new to MN

I have said to my child ‘We drive to school, because I don’t have 4 hours to be walking back and forth all day’

That's not really the point - whilst some people need to drive, others don't, but still choose to. Too many cars on the road make it shit for everyone else, especially kids walking to school.

It is pretty ignorant not to understand that not everyone has a choice as to whether they need to use a car to do the school run or not. You might not like it but some people simply don’t have a choice. Is it really that hard to understand 🤷‍♀️

Hardly little to non existent. There are plenty of people who exist that believe they have the right to an unsolicited opinion on people’s lives. There are also plenty of people who like to be combative and rude towards people because they have low self esteem and bully others to make themselves feel better. Most of us know people like this and the majority of school playgrounds have at least one or two of these “upstanding mothers”. They are all as thoroughly unpleasant as the person the OP describes. All you have to do is look at how some people carry themselves and behave towards others on Mumsnet to catch a glimpse. Again, not an indisputable fact because yet again, you weren’t there. This woman could be purposefully putting herself in the OPs eye line to catch her attention or the times that the OP eye has happened to fall upon this person she’s staring at her and giving her unpleasant looks. If someone made a comment about me being lazy for driving then you can be rest assured I’d look at them too. If I’m going to make an assumption myself based on the OP id say that the former is probably more likely. Critical thinking is definitely a thing and doesn’t usually involve projecting and leaping to enormous conclusions based on no evidence. However, you’re correct. We will agree to disagree.

Then we agree to disagree. The odds of this woman suddenly deciding she knows where the op is, that she’s lazy and likes smirking at her are little to non existent and the indisputable fact is the op needs to be staring ag her to even notice.

critical thinking is a thing.

Meh, Fuck her.

You say “in reality and hugely likely” when both of those statements are a wild assumption based on absolutely nothing other than your own imaginings because you weren’t there. The rest of what you’ve said based on the same premise is utter nonsense. The OP is there in person and has the eyes, ears and basic human understanding to know when someone is being rude towards her. It’s not difficult to work out when a person is being affrontive towards you, the person in the OP isn’t exactly being subtle about it. To claim someone is lazy for driving to school instead of walking when you have no idea about a single thing about them is outrageous and none of their business. To use your child as a weapon to vocalise your passive aggression is also ridiculously pathetic. Only a moron would think this type of behaviour is acceptable.

Why are these types at the school gate though? Why don't people talk about all these smirking awful women at work or the gym or wherever else. They're all the same women just in a different place.

Oh god I had to deal with this at work one. Colleague a made a complain about colleague b saying she was smirking at her and it was making her feel like it was a hostile work place etc. colleague b didn’t have a scoobies what she was on about, never intentionally was smirking at her and on the occasions cited was just cracking on with her day. That was fun….

Ignore her. There are loads of these types rocking up at school gates. You don’t know her, she doesn’t know you. Ignore.

Ignore. Best defence.

Agreed I’m very surprised at the very aggressive answers. Hurling abuse at rhe woman or advising the op to go on the offensive, convinced she must be right and advising how to escalate.

in reality it is hugely likely this woman is simply deeply uncomfortable the op keeps staring at her, the smirk an uncomfortable smile. And the comment to her kid in response to the kid whinging about walking, and looking up as she realised the op was staring again, which she clearly was. She had to have been.

this is much more likely than this random woman who doesn’t know the op from Adam, is giving the op as much headspace as the op is giving her.

its so bloody odd. It really is. That people imagine all these scenarios in their head, assume any comment to a child is aimed at them, and that everything someone does is about them. And then people agreeing , the woman doesn’t even know the op, and likely doesn’t care past the fact the op keeps watching her.

I’m fairly direct and so would probably say something like “Sorry, can I help you? Because you appear to be unable to make eye contact with me without pulling silly faces or making passive aggressive comments towards me. If you’ve got something to say, please feel free to share it with me”. Typical mean girl school bully type who doesn’t have the back bone to address you but still wants to try and make you feel small. No thanks.

Definitely ignore her unless she says something directly to you. It's definitely not worth worrying about. Who cares what she thinks

How can you say she's a nasty person when you don't know her? Or you don't know what's happened or context?

There’s a lot of weird gaslighting on these threads. The OP says somethings happening and some chime on about how it’s not, she’s over-reacting, she’s acting 3.

Same at our school. Local residents very self righteous about people parking near their houses despite the school being there a long time and they almost certainly bought the house knowing it was beside a school. Regularly residents block their cars on the street across 2 parking spaces to prevent parents parking in them, asking people to move from legitimate parking spaces in front of their houses just to make a point...fairly sure there's residents association what's app group that they are all ranting about parents parking near school....
You're not alone! Not much you can do except ignore her

I cannot believe some of the replies on here? You sound like kids yourselves

Who honestly gives a fuck if some random mum gives you ‘ funny’ looks at the school gates? Or that she’s smirking and saying things to her child….

And why on earth would you confront her or try to make some random conversation about how you walk there or whatnot.

Just drop your child off and get on with your life ffs 🙄

Agree with cantaloupe, strike up a conversation with her, find out more about the other side of this hot potato culture war, we don't live in bubbles, our actions affect others.

I agree with you @SallyWD. if @Rainbow877 is sure she’s not parking like she’s on a bank raid or across someone’s drive etc etc*, and can’t just ignore the woman, then the next time she says pointedly “we walk to school, we’re not lazy”, very pointedly and direct and with a smile say cheerfully “oh aren’t you lucky to live within walking distance, I wish we could walk it in under an hour and me be able to get to work on time! How great to live close enough!”.

Whether she’s being unpleasant or you’ve misinterpreted what’s meant won’t matter as regardless of her you have been pleasant but direct.

*also check she doesn’t live next door to you because that would spoil the moment!

Oh come on. Have you even bothered to read the original post?

Strike up a conversation with her. Don't assume. Just say "that's lovely that you walk to school, how long does it take you to walk from home? Unfortunately we live too far to make it work but I would love to...." etc

Maybe she is judgemental, maybe you have got it all wrong and she is just socially inept, but there is no harm in having a friendly chat. She's less likely to make remarks like that if she gets to know you a bit.

Next time just smile and reply ‘Goodness, you’re so lucky you live close enough to walk to school! But you must hate all the traffic at this time of day!’

And walk on…