Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should sports day be optional?

364 replies

Nothinglefttosaynow · 17/05/2024 08:54

I remember dreading sports day as a child, I was slow & awkward and always near the end if not last. It was public embarrassment for me & I dreaded it. My nephew has sports day next week & is already worrying about it. He is fit and healthy but not a fast runner & has come last for the past 3 years. I absolutely agree with kids taking part in sport at school & at home, but I wonder if forcing kids who clearly don't enjoy it to participate in front of a crowd is fair.

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 17/05/2024 13:17

Twinklewonderkins · 17/05/2024 13:03

I think they should keep it and also introduce a forced “Musical Theatre Day” where all the kids are made to sing/dance in front of everyone whether they like it or not and told it’s not important that they can’t sing, and just to get up and on with it.
sports day is pointless and grim for most kids.

Er, have you never been to a nativity play or primary school musical? I don't remember anyone appearing to find these 'grim'! DDs secondary did an inter house drama competition which iirc everyone participated in - some on stage, others doing costumes, sets, lighting etc.

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 13:13

ThinkingOfMe · 17/05/2024 13:00

Its my experience at my kids school and know friends have had schools make adjustments to. Schools are often very reasonable and want to help.

Then do you not think it would be better to adapt sports day rather than get rid of it altogether?

WoshPank · 17/05/2024 13:13

DontWannabe · 17/05/2024 13:10

I dont think it should be optional but there should be more of a focus on exercise and on fun. You could still have competitive races and matches in front of parents and the entire school but maybe those should be optional.

Also, why is it always assumed that kids are either sporty or academic? In my dd's school the best athletes are in general good at everything and some kids don't really shine in any of the competitive areas in school.

Your second paragraph is absolutely on point.

These threads invariably feature people making the argument about sporty kids having time to shine, and setting the issue up as though everyone's good at one or the other and it all balances out. But that's bollocks.

bluecomputerscreen · 17/05/2024 13:12

yabu

a good sports day has a range of activities that are fun for all abilities.
and doesn't have parents watching.

DontWannabe · 17/05/2024 13:10

I dont think it should be optional but there should be more of a focus on exercise and on fun. You could still have competitive races and matches in front of parents and the entire school but maybe those should be optional.

Also, why is it always assumed that kids are either sporty or academic? In my dd's school the best athletes are in general good at everything and some kids don't really shine in any of the competitive areas in school.

BlossomToLeaves · 17/05/2024 13:08

What do people think the purpose of sports day is? It seems that for some people, its purpose is specifically to prove to kids who are good at other things that they aren't good at everything, and to take them down a peg or two.

If the purpose is to have a school day out, or get kids in the fresh air, they could have a picnic/party.
If the purpose is to have races to see who is really good, then they could have an optional sports day.
If the purpose is to make children feel that sports/exercise is fun and encourage them to carry on with it in later life, they could allow them to choose fun activities on a regular basis rather than one day of stuff they don't enjoy.
If the purpose is to teach children that losing is good for them, then they need to spend time teaching how to lose and not feel awful about yourself
If they want all children to learn to be better at sport, then they need to actively teach how to run/jump etc. on a regular basis.
Is it meant to be a moral lesson, to show children they have to do things they don't want to in life - in which case, why? and why sport? why set up a whole day that people don't enjoy just to teach them that lesson?

What is the main reason for having this one-day-a-year competition? When schools have decided what their reason is, then they can consider how to make it serve that purpose for as many children as possible, which might include making it optional for many. Of course children can't opt out of everything in life that they don't like, but why not sports day? It seems just something set up to prove that point to them, but there seems no good reason why it has to happen in this form.

And when has repeatedly coming last actually taught a child that they can't win everything? I guarantee the child already knows that. You aren't teaching them to lose gracefully or become resilient just by making it happen over and over, and increasing their hatred for the whole experience.

Twinklewonderkins · 17/05/2024 13:03

I think they should keep it and also introduce a forced “Musical Theatre Day” where all the kids are made to sing/dance in front of everyone whether they like it or not and told it’s not important that they can’t sing, and just to get up and on with it.
sports day is pointless and grim for most kids.

hookiewookie29 · 17/05/2024 13:01

My kids didn't mind it in primary school but hated it in secondary. My daughter was already being bullied and there was no way I was going to make her take part in front of the bullies themselves. So she had sports day off every year.
Can't say it's affected her development.....

ThinkingOfMe · 17/05/2024 13:00

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 12:57

@ThinkingOfMe that certainly wasn't my experience - it was part of the lesson so you just had to get on with it.

Its my experience at my kids school and know friends have had schools make adjustments to. Schools are often very reasonable and want to help.

DivergentTris · 17/05/2024 13:00

I think Yabu, I understand why you feel this way, not everyone is sporty, however, a lot of it comes down to how the individual deals with the things they are not so good at. I don't think they do these things to laugh at the slow awkward kid at the back, yes, they may well get noticed but I do think most of the people watching never actually bat an eyelid. I feel it comes down to how that individual feels about themselves and how they think others are seeing them.
There are some situations which are toxic though. I'm crap at things like netball, volleyball etc, but Im happy to join in and have a go, I think there can be an issue when those who are better at it get all competitive, telling you your shite etc when it's just a PE lesson, general coaching session or a team building event and not an organised competition. These people are dickheads and forget what the session is about., but again, it's how the likes of myself handle it. I know it's not a formal competition, if it were I'd leave it to those better than me, but this
theses dickheads won't stop me from having a go in a more relaxed setting and I have pulled them on it and told them to wind their necks in.
It can be about having a go, joining in etc but you need to be comfortable with in yourself to do this being the 'slow kid' and not be phased by it.

TTPD · 17/05/2024 12:58

Same with SATs - they give academic kids a time to shine, and sports day gives sporty kids a time to shine.

I don't think a comparison to SATs is reasonable.
They aren't asked the SATs questions in front of the whole school and parents, with cheering for whoever gets to the right answer first, and it being really obvious who is bad at maths because they are by far the last one to solve it.

That would rightly be complained about in pretty harsh terms.

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 12:58

@taxguru except they do lead to bullying. Kids are picked on all the time for being stupid or for not knowing the answer to basic questions.

Let's not act like it's only the kids who aren't great at sport who get picked on by others.

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 12:57

@ThinkingOfMe that certainly wasn't my experience - it was part of the lesson so you just had to get on with it.

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 12:54

@PotatoPudding lots of things happen in front of the entire school or class already so I can't say an academic test or quiz would bother me - especially as it was actually quite common when I was growing up.

Surely the issue is that sports day makes kids feel bad, not that sports day as a concept exists in the first place?

taxguru · 17/05/2024 12:53

CharlotteBog · 17/05/2024 12:41

I think the school needs to address the ritual humiliation and bullying rather than not have sports day.

Forgive me if I don't hold my breath. When it comes to schools, very little has changed in the 40 years since I left when it comes to things like bullying, if anything it's got worse and it was pretty awful back then!

ThinkingOfMe · 17/05/2024 12:49

CharlotteBog · 17/05/2024 12:41

I think the school needs to address the ritual humiliation and bullying rather than not have sports day.

Until they do that though.....

I won’t hold my breath.

PotatoPudding · 17/05/2024 12:46

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 12:28

@LaCouleurDeMonCiel there are often mandatory tests in class though - quizzes or times tables or spellings where you have to answer in front or everyone, or read in front of the class out loud.

Sports Day is once a year, the other things are often weekly or even daily occurrences.

As a parent, would you be happy for this test to be performed on front of the whole school and hundreds of spectators, then be OK that your child struggled and came last in front of everyone, feeling humiliated and useless, meanwhile everyone else is cheering the child who came first?

bakewellbride · 17/05/2024 12:46

Yes I was you op so i agree!

CharlotteBog · 17/05/2024 12:41

taxguru · 17/05/2024 12:38

Yes, and there are ways to achieve that without ritual humiliation and bullying!

I think the school needs to address the ritual humiliation and bullying rather than not have sports day.

ThinkingOfMe · 17/05/2024 12:40

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 12:28

@LaCouleurDeMonCiel there are often mandatory tests in class though - quizzes or times tables or spellings where you have to answer in front or everyone, or read in front of the class out loud.

Sports Day is once a year, the other things are often weekly or even daily occurrences.

If answering/reading in front of the class causes significant distress, schools will listen and not make kids do it or make adjustments. My kids school was great on that. For example, they allowed reading out loud in a smaller group at primary. In secondary, when they have to do a speech to a group as part of English GCSE, they’ll allow it to be done just to the teacher and chosen friends.

taxguru · 17/05/2024 12:39

fieldsofbutterflies · 17/05/2024 12:28

@LaCouleurDeMonCiel there are often mandatory tests in class though - quizzes or times tables or spellings where you have to answer in front or everyone, or read in front of the class out loud.

Sports Day is once a year, the other things are often weekly or even daily occurrences.

They don't affect other pupils, though, so less likely to lead to bullying etc.

taxguru · 17/05/2024 12:38

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

Yes, and there are ways to achieve that without ritual humiliation and bullying!

taxguru · 17/05/2024 12:37

As a comparison as to how things "can" be done in a more fun/fair way, when my son had compulsory music lessons in years 7 and 8 at secondary school, the year end "test" included a compulsory music performance, of playing an instrument for a couple of minutes.

Obviously, grossly unfair for pupils who'd never actually had formal music lessons in playing an instrument to be marked against those who could play at a good level because of prior lessons/practice.

So during the year, the teacher had learned which pupils played which instruments (if any) or had lessons etc., just by chatting, asking questions, "hands up" if you play guitar etc etc.

When it came to the year end test, they were told they couldn't play an instrument that they'd had formal lessons for!

Result was an even playing field. Obviously those who'd had lessons in something were better at reading music, timing, etc., and no doubt some would have played previously but not admitted it, etc. But generally it meant a kid who'd never even played a recorder wasn't competing against some guitar solo genius who could play as well as The Shadows because he'd had private lessons since the age of 18 months!!

The final "performances" were apparently great fun, with the pupils all enjoying it, lots of pupils playing "London's Burning" on the recorder apparently! The teachers marked them on various criteria, such as getting timing right, or reading the music right, etc., not just the end quality of the piece. They also marked on progress made as the teachers had listened to them all practicing a week or two before to gauge the improvement! Our DS said everyone enjoyed it, and that the marking was generally considered to have been fairer, and more importantly, there was no bullying or humiliation for the worst as none of them stood out as being particularly brilliant!

BitOutOfPractice · 17/05/2024 12:36

The day that every child is forced to stand up in front of an audience and do Mental maths or spellings, or speak French or whatever is the day that sports day should be compulsory ie never.

Pookerrod · 17/05/2024 12:34

I like the way my eldest’s secondary school does it. The kids choose what they want to compete in. If you’re not a fast runner, you don’t have to choose any of the races. Plus there are very random sports that no one is particularly good at and so it ends up just being fun. And to keep the element of fun, despite being quite a sporty independent school, they still have the three-legged race, wheelbarrow race, egg and spoon etc for the non-sporty ones.

I do think it should be kept mandatory as it’s good practice for life stepping out of your comfort zone and participating in things you’re not terribly good at in front of an audience.

Swipe left for the next trending thread