Shouting and swearing at dcs

I can see this from both sides, although if kids are quiet perhaps suggests is worse behind closed doors.

im ashamed to admit I’ve been like this with my kids in the past and am sure will be in the future, it’s not nice, I don’t like myself for it but occasionally I’m pushed beyond the brink and it comes out. I’m not mentally in a great place myself and have no “village” or support really. I do make a point of apologising if it happens. It’s not often. You don’t know each day what’s going on for the other mum is my point there. My kids aren’t ever quiet 😂 of course this child could just be quiet or it could be they’ve been beaten down to it..

im not much into gentle parenting either way though, although I don’t think I’m unfair - I just think some parents have taken “gentle” parenting too far and as such cause problems for others by being ridiculously gentle - as in if your child won’t get into the car after a extra curricular class and there is an entire roads worth of other cars waiting to park for the following class, you need to just lift your child into the car and strap them in etc, not faff about gentle coaxing them causing everyone else’s day to be late.

I'd tell school, it could be part of a much bigger picture.

I don't do gentle, child-led parenting neither, but shouting is not on, and swearing definitely isn't. I don't approve of swearing anyway, and even less in front of a child.
Yes, please report.

It's horrible parenting. Sadly there are many parents like this and worse. It makes me so sad.

It was a bit of a joke between myself and my two brothers once we entered our teens about how our mother never ever swore. As young children 'bloody' was considered beyond the pale, and anything stronger than that...God help us!

I'm 55 now and absolutely hate how it seems so common for parents to swear their heads off in front of children....just last night I could hear my neighbour talking to his granddaughter and every other word was 'fuck'. She's about 11...

I would be tempted to say something to the school.

And yes, I would mention it to school staff.

Yes, this.

I have never sworn at my DC. The worst has been ‘for God’s sake, take your muddy trainers off in the porch’ … type of thing, or ‘don’t you dare talk to me like that’.

I feel very sorry for kids whose parents swear at them.

To be honest , I’d have to say something to her, like -Seriously? You’re not going to have many parents willing to let their DC go to yours if you swear in the house.’

It would be interesting to know how she’d respond. Between my two DSs we know quite a lot of families and I’m not aware of a single one where the parents swear at their DC.

I would absolutely mention this to the school. Even if they can’t do anything about this incident directly, they can make sure the child has a trusted person at school to talk to. Then any disclosures made at school would be logged via their safeguarding procedures.
Please don’t leave the child to cope with this on their own.

I have lost my temper and shouted before (more times than I should), but it is the "how many times do I have to say..." type of exasperation rather than "fuck you" anger. I have never and would never swear at my children. I wouldn't speak to anyone like that.

Why dont you fizzle out from her.

Telling you without any sign she felt she’d done anything wrong that she told her child to F off feels worrying. If that’s what she’s happy to share and feels is absolutely fine as her parenting base then what does she feel is excusable when she’s at the end of her tether? For most people yelling in the face of your child or swearing at them is something that you’d feel bad about regardless of the kids having been very badly behaved/provoking. I think lots of people do lose their temper and yell in a way that’s scary but anyone I know who did and was sharing that afterward with another parent then it would be in the context that they’d apologised afterwards and they felt ashamed of that behaviour.

Honestly I would mention it to the school, but I don't think anything would be done about it. However safegaurding is everyones responsibility and it could be the missing piece of the puzzle.

Everyone loses their rag sometimes with their kids, but if this is happening disproportionately and regularly I feel very sad for her child 😢

Well that's not the way to speak in or out the house but if that's what she's like around people I guess it's worse at home. Feel sorry for the children

Yanbu it's abusive and you should do something. Maybe let the school know? She's openly doing it in front of other people, imagine what she does at home. Also if she gets away with doing it in front of other adults who do nothing, then it will only encourage her to carry on.