Widows vs Single mums and divorcees

@SpaghettiWithaYeti my ex left me on the floor when I fainted and started shouting at me to get up as the kids were getting scared!
Your experience sounds worse than mine and yes it’s great to be away from that scary shit! Xxxx

It"s simple. Denial. You tell yourself, nobody else's life is fantastic behind closed doors, you feel, well ill work harder at getting through to him, I'll compromise (more) also, even if my Denial crumbles and I accept that I deserve better,can I get better? Can I afford to run a household on my own? Can I fund childcare even for one child and have enough left to live on? Could I leave? Where would I go? Have I any money when I get there? This all sounds so hard. Maybe I'll just sink back into Denial. Try and endure him.

Oh FFS. 🙄

@LieutOliviaBenson I wouldn't advise someone to marry someone with a terminal illness no

Technically widows are solo parents.

A widow is a single parent. Their children are with them the whole time. A divorced mother may not have her children all the time and may receive financial support.

Maybe women should also choose partners that won't die too? That's how ridiculous your statement is.

Are you STILL missing the point?

I haven’t personally come across this. I am a divorced single mum - my exh is in the picture but sometimes actively makes things harder!

I didn’t choose for him to be emotionally abusive and unreliable and for me to have to divorce him.

I don’t begrudge widows or lone parents who aren’t widowed anything. I haven’t personally seen this.

OP, sounds like your parents are acting very unfairly, but whether it’s indicative of a pattern or not idk.

That can be true, that’s the abuse only starts when the woman is pregnant. What I can’t understand though is why anyone would go on to have 2 more kids with a man that turned abusive when you’re pregnant the first time. It never ends well for the kids or the woman…..

Why are you so dismissive of womens lived experiences?

Yes, men can just flip one day. It's not the womens fault either.

@Bellsandthistle cancer, accidents and many other health conditions can occur randomly.

Kind, loving devoted husbands do not attack or leave their wives randomly

Op maybe you should ask your Parents why they'd help an acquaintance with one child when they don't help you with their DGC?

Do they think the circumstances are completely different?

I think the poster who said their talk was just that is probably right they aren't going to babysit so this random woman can go to the pictures weekly.

This.

You should be ashamed of yourself.
Do you ask a widow “what red flags that he had poor health or lifestyle choices did you see? You should have been more discerning with your choices” when she loses a husband to cancer or other illness?

A friend of mine lost her husband to cancer at the same time my husband left me for another woman. She was rolling in insurance money, and has since married a widower, and they truly live the high life.

This seems unnecessarily mean and bitter about a ‘friend’

@peakygold my husband didn't have life insurance, by the time we discovered his illness it was too late. I insured my own life and also took out mortgage/income protection at that point so my children would have that if I died.

I'd like to see a much more active and aggressive recovery of child maintenance from absent parents- it's outrageous they just manage to wiggle out of it so often, but surely with two living parents, the chances of getting money into the household compared with having one.

Only 30% of households have life insurance. Something to think about. Don't be us.

A friend of mine lost her husband to cancer at the same time my husband left me for another woman. She was rolling in insurance money, and has since married a widower, and they truly live the high life.
Maybe we should all buy insurance against marrying a CF?

This. In bucket loads.

You are all kinds of awful.

HTH.

Therefore it's only right and proper that a widow is treated with respect by society and receives both sympathy and support? Whilst the single mum who chose to marry and have kids, who was then abused, cheated on or who knows what else, shouldn't receive any respect from society, nor sympathy nor support?

Only a couple of posters have blamed single mums through divorce, none of the widows have as we are usually friends with single mums and recognise the similarities in the situation! I just think I'm lucky- my circle of friends includes divorced mums, widowed mums and mums with shit husbands and we support them all, offers of childcare/babysitting, lifts, not necessarily big things, but there's always someone to step up. I've stepped up for my friends who have two loving parents still together, because shit happens and sometimes people need you to quickly babysit or pop to the shop or just a listening ear.

Ignore the judgemental people, I describe myself as a single parent anyway (as saying widow leads to all kinds of discussions you don't want) and I do not care at all what others think whatsoever.

None… why are you such a bitch?

None