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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this child's mum to please keep her out of my garden.

117 replies

PrettyFelineSquashedThyme · 16/05/2024 15:51

Quite often people will stop and have a look at my cat in the window, he is of course very gorgeous and loves a fuss, however what’s been happening recently has made me fairly annoyed.

A few days ago I noticed a child of around 4 or 5 knocking on my window to get the attention of the cat, the window he sits in is facing the road but set about 2.5 in metres into very densely planted garden, which is currently full of young plants. I figured as a one off I wouldn’t say anything, however it keeps happening.

my question is, what would you do in this situation? Would you speak to the mum? I’m admittedly a complete wuss and hate confrontation but also my plants are getting damaged.

Edit: title should say “child’s mum” mum is not a child, but an adult.

OP posts:
fitzwilliamdarcy · 20/05/2024 09:24

My neighbour's kids do this. If the window is open they put their arms in to try and touch my cat as well. It does my head in. Mum knows (I've mentioned it) but couldn't give a shit.

YABU - definitely mention it and hope mum actually gives a shit.

BellaTheDarkOverlord · 20/05/2024 09:05

Sign in window saying “if you’re close enough to read this/touch the window you’re on private property. No trespassing.”

beanii · 20/05/2024 09:01

You need to say something.

Original poster
PrettyFelineSquashedThyme · 17/05/2024 10:07

WetBandits · 17/05/2024 09:31

Nah, sorry OP, I’d be trampling your plants too. He is gorgeous!

Show quote history

Thank you, I think so too (though I am rather biased).

He does get quite a lot of attention and I do love that people stop to say hi to him. I think that’s probably why I was bemused and not irritated first time round.

OP posts:
WetBandits · 17/05/2024 09:31

PrettyFelineSquashedThyme · 16/05/2024 22:46

Oh, if you insist.

Show quote history

Nah, sorry OP, I’d be trampling your plants too. He is gorgeous!

HeBeaverandSheBeaver · 17/05/2024 08:53

Put a sign up say fresh paint or keep off toxic chemicals

Ps beautiful boy ❤️

EmpressaurusOfCats · 17/05/2024 08:43

Truthseeker456 · 17/05/2024 07:35

Yes absolutely you need to say something but be really nice about it . My daughter has asd and trying to get her away from a cat is extremely difficult, however she can't walk in your garden like that so it needs to be handled

You wouldn’t encourage her to bang on the window like this mum did, though?

NippyCrab · 17/05/2024 08:32

I have no resolution OP, I'm here to say he's one handsome boy 💙 wow.

Truthseeker456 · 17/05/2024 07:35

Yes absolutely you need to say something but be really nice about it . My daughter has asd and trying to get her away from a cat is extremely difficult, however she can't walk in your garden like that so it needs to be handled

CelesteCunningham · 17/05/2024 07:24

Would you have it in you to be cheerfully passive aggressive? "Now pet, we don't go into strangers' gardens do we, the cat doesn't like it and neither do the plants! You pop back to your mum on the pavement there (regardless of where the mum is), good girl". And then an extra passive aggressive "it takes a village, doesn't it!" to the mum as if you're doing her a favour.

coxesorangepippin · 17/05/2024 03:11

Those paws 🤗

Kachew · 17/05/2024 01:57

If I wanted to be really mean I would put some of that reflective film stuff on the window so you can see out but no one can see in, but it does seem very unkind to deprive passers-by of a glimpse of your gorgeous cat Smile

grinandslothit · 17/05/2024 01:49

What a gorgeous, fluffy puffy cat!!

I hope they don't come back.

I used to be timid about confrontation, too, but I found out absolutely nothing happens afterwards. They just look shocked or maybe a bit scared, and then they scurry off.

JFDIYOLO · 17/05/2024 01:48

Fence.
Wall.
A scary face that can only be seen when they get too close.
A notice saying 'pesticides in use - danger'

InWalksBarberalla · 17/05/2024 01:42

I was on your side until I saw the cat. I'd probably trample your plants too.

Mothership4two · 17/05/2024 01:38

I definitely would not tell them to F off or bugger off. It's unnecesssary (why start off being that rude?), you might escalate the situation (for no reason) and she knows where you live (and you don't know her or what she may be capable of). Not to mention there's a 4-5 yo child there - who is unaware they are doing anything wrong. Just tell them firmly to get out of your garden.

misszebra · 17/05/2024 01:31

put up an electric fence she'll soon learn

PalomaJaneintheDales · 17/05/2024 01:25

That cat is absolutely gorgeous - I think I would be drawn to him as well (but I wouldn't knock on your window Wink

cowshindtail · 16/05/2024 23:47

I am completely with you on hating confrontation to the extent that I could only watch in horror recently as a man allowed his dog to relieve itself in the middle of my front lawn.He did clear most of it up but I have put up a temporary fence to try to prevent it happening again and will be putting up iron railings.

DesparatePragmatist · 16/05/2024 23:46

Gorgeous floof of a cat! I have one almost identical - apart from much less gorgeous because she's covered in mats and dreadlocks which she hates me grooming out. How do you keep his coat so nice? <completely misses point of thread>

EllieRosesMammy · 16/05/2024 23:28

Do you not have a fence?

We didn't have a fence on our front garden and next doors kids would just invite themselves in and start playing on our kids toys while we were out (we could see them on our cctv) and their mums would just be stood watching them 🙃 like seriously?! So we put fences up and my partner made the gate purposely hard to open 🤣👏

itsmylife7 · 16/05/2024 23:19

PrettyFelineSquashedThyme · 16/05/2024 22:49

I think I’ll just need to just put on my big girl pants and talk to her.

She hasn’t been by again today so hopefully I won’t have to 🤞

I'd be walking on your flowers to see that gorgeous creature. I bet he looks very proud sitting posing at the window. 😄

JustJoinedRightNow · 16/05/2024 23:09

He is divine!!!!

Blackcats7 · 16/05/2024 23:05

If you can speak to the mother and don’t feel able to directly call her out on encouraging her child to do this I would pretend concern for said child because you have slug pellets (not really) all over your garden to protect your plants and you would hate to think of little whoever getting poisoned.

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