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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To ask this child's mum to please keep her out of my garden.

117 replies

PrettyFelineSquashedThyme · 16/05/2024 15:51

Quite often people will stop and have a look at my cat in the window, he is of course very gorgeous and loves a fuss, however what’s been happening recently has made me fairly annoyed.

A few days ago I noticed a child of around 4 or 5 knocking on my window to get the attention of the cat, the window he sits in is facing the road but set about 2.5 in metres into very densely planted garden, which is currently full of young plants. I figured as a one off I wouldn’t say anything, however it keeps happening.

my question is, what would you do in this situation? Would you speak to the mum? I’m admittedly a complete wuss and hate confrontation but also my plants are getting damaged.

Edit: title should say “child’s mum” mum is not a child, but an adult.

OP posts:
Deeperthantheocean · 20/05/2024 19:30

Be prepared, if they look like they're doing it again, replace your cat with a big scary Halloween ornament of one, with full red flashing eyes and fake blood driving from its mouth??

Sorry, not right to scare a little child, just joking of course, couldn't resist it though 😉

I would politely explain to the Mum that the banging on the window frightens your cat and also you! Xx

ButterCrackers · 20/05/2024 19:28

Just say don’t enter my property. These are my plants and your child has damaged them. Do not cause further damage.

CoffeeAndPeanuts · 20/05/2024 19:25

SpringerFall · 16/05/2024 22:36

I would go and speak to her but would also get a big sack and write Semtex on it and stick in where you don't want her to walk

Or Arsenic or some other label

@SpringerFall

how about 'fits one child'

🤣🤣

Cherrysoup · 20/05/2024 19:19

Blimey, I’d be fuming if someone banged on the window at my cat! Get out there and tell the kid next time, no idea why you didn’t. 10+ feet into the garden?!

LittleMissSleepyUK · 20/05/2024 19:14

He is gorgeous!!! I love the idea of a PP of doing a sign from him

Riverlee · 20/05/2024 19:13

A one-off, I’d let it pass. More than that, you need to speak to them.

WiddlinDiddlin · 20/05/2024 19:11

I suspect it is the 5 year olds Mother the OP is concerned about. I can understand why, I live near people who'd damn near rip your head off if you as much as speak to their kid, never mind tell them off for something!

Bringbackthebeaver · 20/05/2024 18:31

You are so scared of confrontation that you can't tell a 5 year old to get out of your garden? 😕

Moveoverdarlin · 20/05/2024 18:20

Put up a funny sign:

My name is Trevor. I’m a four year old Tabby. I DO bite. Do not enter my garden. My Mum gets cross with the hoards of people coming to admire my handsome face. She also bites. If you insist on looking at my beautiful whiskers, stay on the pavement. Trevor 🐾.

Original poster
PrettyFelineSquashedThyme · 20/05/2024 18:20

Thank you everyone for your suggestions.

They haven’t been back so unfortunately the opportunity to chuck water at a little kid has passed. I’ll keep a bucket handy in case any of you lot stop by 😉

OP posts:
Original poster
PrettyFelineSquashedThyme · 20/05/2024 18:15

BreatheAndFocus · 20/05/2024 18:02

Do you live near me? 😀 I have a similar front garden with no boundary wall between the pavement and it, and I frequently find children in my garden. One was actually pulling the heads off my flowers 🙄 I’ve found that putting up a low fence has helped enormously as has putting planters along the paved bit of the garden that’s open to the pavement.

You’d think it would be obvious it’s a private garden, but some people are just a bit dense, and unless it’s clearly separated, will continue to use it.

I think it is obvious, some people just don’t respect it.

many years ago when I still had box bushes as a border, a whole family stepped over them and trudged through my garden because the pavement was blocked by a van. It was winter so nothing was alive but I was still very annoyed.

OP posts:
Treelichen · 20/05/2024 18:04

hosepipe

BreatheAndFocus · 20/05/2024 18:02

Do you live near me? 😀 I have a similar front garden with no boundary wall between the pavement and it, and I frequently find children in my garden. One was actually pulling the heads off my flowers 🙄 I’ve found that putting up a low fence has helped enormously as has putting planters along the paved bit of the garden that’s open to the pavement.

You’d think it would be obvious it’s a private garden, but some people are just a bit dense, and unless it’s clearly separated, will continue to use it.

Twinboymum3 · 20/05/2024 17:21

I’d go outside and say loudly but kindly and smiling, to the child ‘ohh don’t stand on there darling my plants are getting squashed! You can wave to the cat from the pavement :)’

Blankspace35 · 20/05/2024 17:14

When i had this problem i bought film for the windows, we can see out but no1 can see in to bother my cats :)

Doone22 · 20/05/2024 15:30

No you don't ask. That's asking then to walk all over you. You tell them. Go out and shout at the child. That'll stop them doing it. If the mum is there shout at her too. You're being too soft.

starfishmummy · 20/05/2024 13:45

Throw a bucket of water out of the window upstairs to the one in question?

Blueuggboots · 20/05/2024 13:45

Lean out the window and say "why on earth are you teaching your young child that it's acceptable to walk on people's plants and bang on random windows?! Please don't encourage your child to trespass."

What's she going to do??! Just shut the window.

fitzwilliamdarcy · 20/05/2024 13:17

WickedSerious · 20/05/2024 12:58

I'd love to see someone try this with next door's cat,losing a fingertip or two would be the least of their worries.

Show quote history

Fortunately (for child, not for me) the cat is easily spooked and so jumps down the moment the errant hand comes wriggling through.

I'd raise it with the kids directly but having already spoken to their mum (and literally gotten a shrug and "well they love cats" in response), I know I'd just get a mouthful for daring to admonish them.

WickedSerious · 20/05/2024 12:58

fitzwilliamdarcy · 20/05/2024 09:24

My neighbour's kids do this. If the window is open they put their arms in to try and touch my cat as well. It does my head in. Mum knows (I've mentioned it) but couldn't give a shit.

YABU - definitely mention it and hope mum actually gives a shit.

I'd love to see someone try this with next door's cat,losing a fingertip or two would be the least of their worries.

WiddlinDiddlin · 20/05/2024 12:50

Say:

'It's nice that you like my cat, I like my cat too. I also like my flowers, please can you look at the cat from over there...' and point to the other side of the fence/boundary'.

If Mummy Dearest goes on FB to berate you, give her as good as she gets, no ones gonna stick up for her sending her kid to trample your garden and knock on your windows, she'll be standing on no legs as it were!

Beautiful3 · 20/05/2024 12:34

Next time it happens just say, "hello, please don't stand on the flowers, I want them to grow. Can you get off the flowers please." All with a big smile. If they're gracious about it, bring the cat put to meet her.

Bumblebeeinatree · 20/05/2024 12:17

A bit dangerous for the child to get into the habit of tapping on strangers windows, who knows what sort of oddball might live there (not you obviously).

Mindblownawaybyfog · 20/05/2024 12:09

Set of sprinklers under the window.. Definitely...
Cfers both of them.

Or put out a collection tin.
Pound per view...
I would pay.. . He is delicious..

SonyaBoot · 20/05/2024 12:04

This reply has been withdrawn

Withdrawn at OP's request.

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