Is he paying enough?

If he didn’t want a child, he had options. It’s too late once he’s ejaculated. The choice happens before then. Plenty of men make it through life without accidentally impregnating women by making sensible decisions.

He expects her to solely parent their whole child!

How many of you replying on this thread actually wanted to say this but didn't have the balls? I mean I don't blame you because anyone who actually thinks like this is incredibly stupid but I respect the fact that sleepyscientist didn't beat around the bush.

So if he has no contact I'm going to guess he didn't want DD.

You chose to continue the pregnancy and he already contributes more than he is legally required to (which in my eyes should be nothing if he said no before 24weeks).

If it was my son I would advise him to pay the legal minimum to you and put the other £330 into an account in DD name for when she turns 18 and offer for her to come live with him away from you as it doesn't sound like you would be someone he could co parent with.

Dare I ask - was the father involved in the planning of your child?

Yeah I know. Where did I write that she wasn't wanting more money? My reply was all about her asking for more money 🙄

😂 this whole thread is literally about the OP wanting more money from him. She’s already said he pays more than he needs to and it’s still not enough.

I think the being annoyed that you do everything is a separate issue. My dd’s dad lives abroad, earns over double what your ex does and pays a similar amount to what you get and I’m happy with it - it pays a fair share of her costs.

Assuming you’re not entitled to UC, you should still have £4000 a month coming in with CM & child benefit. This is about £200 more than your ex is left with, although he obviously has no further costs to pay out for your child. Are you not getting any help with childcare? No tax-free childcare, no free hours, etc?

Oh misunderstanding then, we both agree

My point was it’s quite telling that OP has started a thread whingeing that she only gets £1000 a month from her ex and seems to think she should get more - even though he’s actually paying above CMS!

I would have thought the bigger concern here is that her DC is growing up without contact with their Dad and how that is going to effect her life, not seeing how much extra money she can get out of him.

Of course she can’t make him see his child but that doesn’t seem to be OPs main concern here hence the thread being about money….no amount of money is going to make up for not having a Dad and it comes across grabby.

This is interesting because he chooses to have no involvement at all. The OP isn't expecting him to pay for everything, just nursery so don't know why posters are saying she wants to bleed him dry.
Bearing in mind she does absolutely everything child related I don't think the idea is too out there.
So, he obviously has a teeny tiny bit of conscience if he increased it a little to cover more of the nursery fees, could you appeal to this @Havett ? Perhaps lay it out for him and see what he thinks? In a non confrontational way obviously, as not to upset the little petal. The worst he could say is no. If he does say no, play it smart and thank him for considering it anyway or else he might well drop it back down to CMS minimum. Should you have to pussyfoot around it? No. But realistically, you probably should.
Good luck.

There's some truly bonkers mental gymnastics on this thread.

Looking after your own child is not childcare and nor should it have a financial cost attributed to it.

Money is used for whatever the person holding the money chooses to use it for so it's ridiculous to say the dad isn't even paying the childcare and OP is paying for everything else. No, dad is transferring OP £1000 per month and she is using it as she sees fit along with the rest of her money.

The current average cost of raising a child from birth to 18, for a lone parent, is £220,000. Based on £1000 per month, he is covering his full share of that and almost your full share of that (£18 a month left over, easily covered by child benefit, if you're claiming any).
Your costs are higher at the moment because your child is at a high cost stage of her life. However, unless you'd also be looking to lower his contributions when she becomes less expensive (starts at school, etc.) then you are unreasonable to ask him to raise them now.

@Whatsmyusername1235 you seem to have got the wrong end of the stick. I am fully aware that OP is getting more than most mums in CMS. I agree with you... she's definitely pushing her luck!

I earn 10k less than him and take home £4200. He probs let has about £2500 left after mortgage and CMS, say £1000 for bills/car.

How old is your child?

I don’t have any experience with them personally but know someone who does and they have to pay otherwise they would get the money directly from the fathers wages.
That is what I was disagreeing with as someone said he can choose to pay nothing but that is not the case.
I don’t have a clue how it works if you are self employed.

In terms of paying the OP he isn’t bad at all. £1000 a month is more than enough but she is coming across like she is trying to bleed every penny out of him.
She also earns 46k herself so isn’t struggling on minimum wage.

@Whatsmyusername1235 CMS are absolutely useless. I'm going through the process myself. What exactly do you disagree with? If someone goes self employed CMS can't do a single thing. OP has a private arrangement so he can't be all bad can he? Because he's paying more than some mothers earn in 1 single month. If the father wanted to be a D* he could go through CMS himself.

I sympthatise as a single mum but because OP is getting a pretty decent amount I'm struggling to see how it would be wise to ask for more money.

I can understand your frustration OP. Can’t be nice being 100% solo, irrespective of the money. I don’t think any amount would make up for that though.

@StormingNorman if all you were doing was reading you wouldn’t have used the phrases “sounds like” or “It’s another way of saying” you’re interpreting what I’ve said based on your own assumptions and narrative.

Oh come on don't be ridiculous. You wanted your child presumably? I understand expecting some contribution but you're expecting him to fund your whole child!