Is he paying enough?

Tbf why should he pay childcare?

So if he has no contact I'm going to guess he didn't want DD.

You chose to continue the pregnancy and he already contributes more than he is legally required to (which in my eyes should be nothing if he said no before 24weeks).

If it was my son I would advise him to pay the legal minimum to you and put the other £330 into an account in DD name for when she turns 18 and offer for her to come live with him away from you as it doesn't sound like you would be someone he could co parent with.

I love how you have made most of that up in your head and ran with it as if it's a fact lol.

Actually he is paying above the fixed amount.

I am in no way defending the ex because I think it’s shocking to not see his own child,
but I think OP is misdirecting the issue here
and that is the point I was trying to make.

Sorry that doesn't make any sense.
She is asking a question about money... therefore she doesn't care if DC has a relationship with her dad...
The two things are not linked.

Entitled is an interesting word anyway, the ex pays a fixed amount of maintenance regardless of what that does or does not cover, and that's his duties as a parent discharged.

OP has to cover outgoings on everything her child needs, nobody is capping that contribution for her, she has to find the money when prices rise etc.

She is not in any way stopping the x from having a good relationship with his child, he's doing that all by himself.

You’re right. The focus is entirely wrong.

Giving OP the benefit of the doubt, I think she’s latched onto the CM as she feels powerless where contact is concerned.

It’s awful though, as the child deserves a father as much as he/she deserves his financial support. It’s piss poor behaviour just throwing money at the’issue’ .

He already does contribute. More than he needs to, but OP has started a thread about how she wants extra money that she isn’t entitled to.

They are related because OP thinks she should get more money because her ex doesn’t see their child. I think it’s a very sad way of thinking personally and doesn’t actually help the child.

My point was it’s quite telling that OP has started a thread whingeing that she only gets £1000 a month from her ex and seems to think she should get more - even though he’s actually paying above CMS!

I would have thought the bigger concern here is that her DC is growing up without contact with their Dad and how that is going to effect her life, not seeing how much extra money she can get out of him.

Of course she can’t make him see his child but that doesn’t seem to be OPs main concern here hence the thread being about money….no amount of money is going to make up for not having a Dad and it comes across grabby.

Her wanting him to contribute towards the fixed parenting costs equates to her not caring if DC has a relationship with their dad?
How are those two things related?

So if he has no contact I'm going to guess he didn't want DD.

You chose to continue the pregnancy and he already contributes more than he is legally required to (which in my eyes should be nothing if he said no before 24weeks).

If it was my son I would advise him to pay the legal minimum to you and put the other £330 into an account in DD name for when she turns 18 and offer for her to come live with him away from you as it doesn't sound like you would be someone he could co parent with.

So how are you looking after her full time AND paying £1200 nursery fees? So he pays £1000 which is his half. So if your half is also £1k that's £800 after nursery fees per month . Surely that's enough for child expenses?

Dare I ask - was the father involved in the planning of your child?

YABVU
Sounds like you’re more bothered about how much extra money you can get out of him rather than DD having more time and a better relationship with her Dad.

So if he has no contact I'm going to guess he didn't want DD.

You chose to continue the pregnancy and he already contributes more than he is legally required to (which in my eyes should be nothing if he said no before 24weeks).

If it was my son I would advise him to pay the legal minimum to you and put the other £330 into an account in DD name for when she turns 18 and offer for her to come live with him away from you as it doesn't sound like you would be someone he could co parent with.

@crumbpet i do feel like that as I do all childcare outside of nursery while he does zero and can further his career etc

So if he has no contact I'm going to guess he didn't want DD.

You chose to continue the pregnancy and he already contributes more than he is legally required to (which in my eyes should be nothing if he said no before 24weeks).

If it was my son I would advise him to pay the legal minimum to you and put the other £330 into an account in DD name for when she turns 18 and offer for her to come live with him away from you as it doesn't sound like you would be someone he could co parent with.

So if he has no contact I'm going to guess he didn't want DD.

You chose to continue the pregnancy and he already contributes more than he is legally required to (which in my eyes should be nothing if he said no before 24weeks).

If it was my son I would advise him to pay the legal minimum to you and put the other £330 into an account in DD name for when she turns 18 and offer for her to come live with him away from you as it doesn't sound like you would be someone he could co parent with.

@Iaskedyouthrice i know… I think @sleepyscientist may also be a deadbeat ;)