Will I ever get over my parents choosing my brother over me?

Your parents, who live 200 miles from you, moved to live near your brother, who is 125 miles from you, yet he’s only about 15 mins from your parents previous house. How’s that possible?

YABU... you chose to move 200 miles away from your parents. They were under no obligation to follow you. It's unfortunate that you feel they've somehow chosen your brother over you. Ultimately they chose a location they like and want to live in and it just so happens to be closer to your brother. They're obviously going to enjoy the added time they're able to spend with him as a result of this. You made your choices, and presumably you didn't make them based on the idea that your parents would follow you.

Do you have a good support network where you are? Just wondering if it’s loneliness that’s making this feel worse

Do see a therapist. This response is disproportionate.

Work out times to visit. Once you’ve got a schedule to look forward to you might feel better about things.

Yes yabu

You seem to be missing the fact that you moved first…

I’m not quite following, was there an understanding after you moved away that they would follow you?

They’ve moved for the area not the child there still a reasonable distance from there hometown and there ties there

Did they talk to you about the reasons they chose to move there not where you live? Might be easier to view it as a geographical decision rather than choosing your DB over you.

I get it. I moved 200 miles away after uni for my relationship and better job prospects and my sister has moved about 20 miles away.

I have a great relationship with my parents, but do regularly feel left out because they do a lot of things with my sister and I just can't be part of them, logistically.

They regularly say they wish they were closer to us, mainly because I have a daughter and my sister doesn't have children. But whenever I've brought up the idea of them coming closer they tell me they couldn't leave my sister. I've stopped suggesting it because although I'm the one that moved, to hear them say they can't leave her feels like they're saying they'd rather be near her. I don't expect them to follow me, but I'd love to have them here.

It also costs a LOT more to live where I do than where I grew up. So it would be expecting them to increase their outgoings, and move away from their hometown, which they love.

One day, it might be possible to move back, as a family unit. But there is very little work where I grew up, and although my job can be remote, DH has to be on site, so it's more restricting.

It sucks to feel like they'd rather be near your sibling. But in actuality, it's way more complicated than that, and you just need to think rationally.

Is there much difference in your area and bro area?

Is this a reverse? You’re actually one of the parents and your child is giving you shit for moving closer to the other one?

Otherwise I don’t see how you can say you’ve been abandoned when you moved 200 miles away first

No. I should have just posted a nasty response like you and many others. I was sharing my experience with OP (not you) to show I understand how she feels. FFS

We've had this sort of silliness before.

FWIW I've got adult DC and won't be able to 'move' next to all of them if I choose to. I've got one in London - where I CERTAINLY can't afford to buy anything, one abroad, where I don't want to move and one in the Midlands where I could possibly afford to move to.

I might not move at all. But if I do, it will be nearer to DS2. I do hope that his siblings don't start with this sort of ridiculous need for therapy, claiming I've damaged them by doing so.

OP, you need to grow up. For the sake of your 6 yo son, if nothing else.

But didn't you move first?
Maybe they just prefer the area where your brother lives?
It's still closer to you than where you live now so maybe they think it's a good option.
Do they have a history of favouring your DB? Is that why you're taking it personally maybe?

You moved away though and ‘abandoned’ your family

Your poor parents are in a no win situation

Maybe they felt abandoned when you chose to move away and live near your in laws. (Probably didn't, probably didn't even think about it).

Is your brother near his in laws too?

As the mum of boys it's refreshing to see parents living near sons when all we ever hear is how they live with/near or favour daughters.

But you moved away first i think its time to grow up and stop being jealous of your brother.

I couldent get far enough away from my family and couldent give a toss who they favour and where they move as long as its not near me.
200 miles away would still feels to close lol.

You did move away first.

Saying that, did you have an expectation that once your parents decided to move then it would be closer to you? That would be them choosing you over your brother, going by your logic here.

You know that they haven't chosen one child over the other with the move, it maybe is more practical for them in some way to be where they are now. However, this could be a repeated pattern of behaviour - not necessarily choosing your brother but of you feeling let down or abandoned or not picked by them. If so, therapy is a really good place to unpick all of this.

YABVU

You moved first, just because they haven't pitched up in your front garden you've concluded they have abandoned you? AND prefer your brother.

It does sound like you need to reevaluate your conclusions.

It's human to have a better relationship with "a" or "b" child. maybe they just have a better relationship with "a" ? like football, or golf.
My parents loved me, but they were much more comfortable with my brothers.. Ultimately my golden boy brother lived across the world, & I lived in another European country. My younger brother & lovely wife lived down the road. So they got the free childcare/ & Sunday lunches.
I think it's just circumstances & different characters....
You left initially, so your actions have consequences.
Its OK....Go & see them when you can, FaceTime, be happy that they're happy.

I moved away at 18, my parents and brother stayed in our home town. They are so close, always see each other and my parents are closer to his kids. It doesn't bother me, I'm aware that I moved away first. You need to drop that feeling of false resentment, your being a bit silly I'm afraid.

You need to get over yourself. You moved away first!

YOU are the one who "abandoned" them, if we're playing by your, rather self-absorbed, rules. I hate to break the news to you, but the entirety of your parent's lives don't revolve around just you. They moved to the area they liked best. Your take on this situation is rather alarming, actually.

They’ve moved nearer to you and your brother - a happy medium I would’ve thought?