To challenge a person's parenting at the park

Parents are interested more in their phones now, sadly 🤷🏼‍♀️

I am particularly water cautious because I had a close friend who sadly lost their child by drowning. But I am always so so shocked at how little regard parents seem to have for their children’s safety at the pool. I have seen children effectively unsupervised. I’ve also seen swim instructors turn their back and engage in conversations when they’re supposed to be teaching - so I won’t even leave my child with a swim instructor I don’t know well (sometimes I’ll have to leave to take the littlest to the toilet etc but I try to avoid it).

i went on holiday recently and had eyes on my children at all times. My kids are also told they are not to enter the pool without an adult, no exception. My child make friends with a family who’s 5 and 8 year old were swimming unsupervised! Their parents were lying on a sunbed not even in view - there wasn’t even a lifeguard. I spent all week chuntering about that.

Anyway, sorry for the rant it’s just nice to see someone on the same page!

For ten years, I have been a daily swimmer (usually 2 to 3 hours). I see lots of parents and carers (often 65%-75%) at the pool whose mobile phones come out as soon as their kids enter the water of the 0.75m deep [2.5 feet] or the 1.4m deep [4.6 feet] pools.

In this decade, I have intervened to rescue around 25 children under 7yo from under the water or in severe difficulty reaching the pools' edges.

On top of this, I have called out to other parents or (alleged) carers that NO-ONE from the family is minding their kids' safety and that the child/ren are struggling.

As well, thre are many so-called adults who place Facebook, Instagram, action sports or gambling ahead of their childrens' "milestones" of swimming success at the pool ... people too disengaged to seemingly care.

So, thank you OP, for being "in loco parentis" when no-one else who should care is doing so. You are right to voice your concerns on the first occasion and be snarly towards the failing parent/carer on subsequent occasions.

We are, after all, part of the so-called 'village' that helps raise all children to a better standard than previous generations.

You did not over step the mark, he needed telling, well done for making him aware. He can't just take his kids to the park and not watch them, especially that young. I am sure the mum wouldn't be impressed if she knew that had happened, I know I wouldn't, but my husband is healthy and safety in our house so would never do this 🤣

No way you were in the wrong! I’d be glad if I was that child’s other parent thar someone pulled him up on it. I’d have taken it a step further and asked around as soon as the child started approaching me for help and if no parent made themselves obvious I’d call the police to report an unsupervised child. I’d hope someone would do the same if anyone I trusted to look after my son left him unattended like that. My son will never be out of arms reach at a park until he’s old enough to speak for himself and knows stranger danger, at that age they would do anything for anyone who offered them something nice!

I think what you did was fine. He might bot even have been the dad, xould have been an uncle or a dad not used to taking his kids to the park. The fact he didnt retaliate suggests he ultimately agreed with you.

Yes, I had a similar experience to a poster I had quoted. In these threads you often see age being brought up, but a four year old can easily need to be more closely supervised than a two year old, depending on the child.

That’s a totally different scenario to the one OP has set out in her post.

I was supervising, watching from a few metres away as appropriate to his ability.

I let mine take risks but supervise them.

You did the right thing OP. I keep half an eye on my eldest (5) but supervise my youngest who’s 2.5 near enough all the time. I often go to soft play and end up comforting a hurt child who’s parents are no where to be seen and who are getting knocked about by older kids.

@HuckleberryBlackcurrant
Yes, I understand this situation was different. My comment was more a general one on other parents judging by age or size rather than observable ability and confidence.

He never looked at risk, he was more competent at two than most children a year older. I can't think what they saw other than his age. Discouraging comments can harm a child's confidence so I did my best to step in quickly and ask them to please just let him play.

Far better for people to err on the side of caution when they don’t know than to let a situation they feel is risky get out of hand. Once can be enough for a really traumatic accident.

I had similar with DS. Early with gross motor skills and I let him take safe risks. Top of a giant climbing net, riding without stabilisers at barely three kind of child. I had a lot of parents try to discourage him, tell him he was too little, that equipment he wanted to play on was for older children, that he wouldn't be able do things, did he want help? I was always nearby watching.

You definitely did the right thing! Wish there was more people like you looking out for each other 🙂

How do you know that man was actually his dad? It doesn't sound like he confirmed it, and you said the kid just ran past him. I'd be worried that this man was nothing to do with the kid.

Once on a beach, I saw a man ‘teaching’ his daughter to swim. She was screaming she was hysterical. She was way out of her depth. I went over and told him - he gave me a mouthful. He gave me a mad excuse but they left the water and I saw her playing by her mother so yeah, it was worth it. And later two German women came up to me and said they had noticed what was happening but they didn’t have the guts to go over so I’m just giving myself a pat on the back if anyone’s thinking otherwise. O P. You did the right thing.

ooh that's me told! Cheers for that