FIL 'took' Our car!

Collosal twats. I'd want absolutely nothing to do with them.

Some right doormats on here in the comments, just because someones family doesnt mean they get to walk all over you. You said no, you have your reasons and boundaries. Some people just aren't trustworthy. Your FIL and BIL though? That's crappy behaviour cos they can't get their own way. FIL offered, a favour with strings attached isn't a favour, and BIL just sounds like a immature cheeky git. I'd go low contact

Lol

It’s a huge jump to dramatise that BIL might even have a tinder date, let alone that he’d be getting up to no good with this entirely fictional person in a car, unless he’s known for enjoying a bit of dogging 🤣

Sounds as if fil did you a big favour.

How much time does it take to source a suitable car, view it, negotiate on price and collect it?

Was he also involved with taxing and insuring it?

He obviously needed help to collect it so asked bil.

You are also expecting him to handle the sale after you leave, or for bil to buy it.

So bil can help collect the car and then buy it off you after, but not borrow it while his car has a mot.

And one of your reasons is 'he would take a tinder date in it.'

And you'd rather inconvenience your own parents at short notice than back down.

God YABsoU and petty.

Really glad you now have to buy your own car.

I took this to mean a hook up IN the car rather than just picking the date up to drive to a nice restaurant. It may be a second hand car but I can understand why the idea of BIL getting serviced in your car might be off putting.

Oh I read cat 🐱

Yes he's returned it now. I was just wondering if he would have refunded OP if bil damaged the car while driving it around or whether he would have made that OPs problem

He's returned the money though

Ah, I see. I don’t have a photo one.

@Jegersur The photocard has to be renewed every 10 years

I’ve never had to renew my licence.

I think it was wrong of BIL to assume he could use the car without asking & can see how that might be the final straw.

Ridiculous to assume he wouldn't drive it if he went with FIL to collect though.

I'm guessing it was all in FIL's name if he could just pay money back & assume ownership?

Acted like complete prats! It’s irrelevant if the OP has chosen to buy a car instead of hire. This sounds exactly like my Mum with my brother, just throw their toys out of the pram if they don’t get their own way

Well somebody was going to have to go with FiL to collect the car, either BiL or someone else. Are all these people insured to drive each others cars? I can see why you and DH didn't want everyone assuming BiL could use your car until you are back. However, poor FiL was stuck in the middle when he's trying to help everyone out. Nobody has come out a winner, except perhaps BiL if he is simply given the car.

I'm gobsmacked that anyone thinks this is ok!! I'm sure the OP and her DH know whether her BiL can be trusted (not, as it seems). But in any case, it's a very large assumption that the BiL could drive it. Is it even insured for him to drive?

BTW, to those who think this is odd thing to do, this is pretty common for many people. Car hire is very expensive and fraught with problems.

I used to live overseas and this UK driving license issue used to come up a lot on local expat forums. Most people got a local driving license (or an international driving license) - which you can get based off your UK license without taking additional tests (at least where I lived). When travelling back to the UK they then used the local/international license to hire cars.

Car hire companies will hire to you based on your UK license - e.g. they don't question it. The concern on these forums always was if you are not UK resident and rely solely on your UK driving license when hiring/driving in the UK Insurers may try and use this as a reason to reject a claim if you have an accident. May be being over cautious but there was a lot of discussion around it.

As PP have noted - the bigger risk is trying to renew a license when not a resident by using a UK address.

Only until their licence needs renewing (which is currently every 10 years). The DVLA will only accept new applications and renewals from a UK resident. If a UK person moves to another country for more than 12 months, they will have to get a local driving licence for the country they are in. It's the same for someone coming to the UK for more than 12 months. It is a criminal offence to use someone else’s UK address such as that of a family member or friend to obtain or renew a driving licence.

I’m with you OP—you’re clearly not just being asked to return a favour here. This is more of a bait and switch situation involving a BIL that the FIL surely already knew isn’t well-liked or trusted by yr husband. I think if most people thought about analogous possibilities in their own lives they wouldn’t be pleased with this scenario at all.

What about people who've lived here, passed their test here, surely they are still registered with the DVLA?

It seems to me you are making a big deal out of a used car that you are only going to be using a couple of months. This is not a hill to die on, IMO.

Yip they are also expecting family to store the car for them as well.
And I'll take a guess family will also get the joy of hosting them for their 2 month long holiday.

Do you enjoy a bit of drama? I can't imagine being this petty.

BIL might invite a tinder date into your car? And?

No wonder your FIL reacted how he did. I bet he's sick of you both.

Oh this sounds so tough!

You need to remember that saying "when someone shows you who they are, listen".

Regardless of what Mumsnet have said, YaNBU to say he can't use your car. His reaction and FIL following is an unreasonable reaction. Transferring the money back, even pettier. I'd be cutting them off and I certainly wouldn't be visiting them if you don't want to cut them off.

Imagine asking your dad to help you is 'using ppl" you were very polite in your response I'm struggling not to say something harsh!!