to not have realised how abusive and horrible men were until I joined MN

There are awful men and some pretty horrible women too - but as this is mumsnet it's more likely you will see threads about male behaviour. If you want to look at threads where men are bashing women then pop over to Reddit- plenty of such posts on the 'dead bedrooms' reddit - although 'some 'are such mysogonistic egocentric pricks that I have a chronic urge to reply 'and you wonder why your wife isn't interested'? Some people have a chronic lack of self awareness.

Every single woman I know well enough to have spoken about this topic has experienced some form of abuse from a man. My mother, grandmother, aunts, MIL, friends, past work colleagues. And me.

I don’t know what has happened with women posting on this that who are saying they have been abused, and neither do you. This is an Internet forum not a therapy session or a court of law. And even in those settings people get things wrong.

The evidence on reciprocal abuse in relationships is as long standing as it is unpalatable. this doesn’t mean that i am saying that people who report abuse on this thread are involved in reciprocally abusive relationships. It would be clearly as dishonest for me to say i knew that, as much as it would be dishonest for you to say you knew that it wasn’t

but we do know that it does happen and it sadly that it appears to be the norm

Most women on this thread haven’t spoken about being abused.

Given that at least 1 in 5 women experience sexual assault - for starters - at the hands of a man, you don't really need every woman on the thread to lay out her experiences.

Sexual abuse, violence, domestic violence, emotional and mental and psychological abuse, are quite common. Victim blaming is abhorrent.

Maybe they’ll get the fuck if this one then.

I’m sure their thread is ‘interesting’. 🤣

Start your own thread then, because this one is about male behaviour.

Oh they have! Bashing women.

Start your own thread then, because this one is about male behaviour.

But some women on this thread have disclosed they have been abused. So lets focus on them. So I ask you again, do you stand by your claim that 'most' women who are domestically abused are reciprocal abusers? Because if you do, you are saying that 'most' of the women on the thread who have disclosed abuse are abusers. Do you intend to double down on that, wriggle out of it with by arguing about something else, or retract it for the offensive nonsense it is?

Most women on this thread haven’t spoken about being abused.

The OP wasn’t ‘all my life ive experienced men being abusive shits’, it was ‘all my life i didn’t think men were all massive bastards, but now I've found mumsnet i realise they are’.

its nonsense

nobody here is saying that you dont get abusive men who do horrible things. And nobody is saying that we shouldnt do everything we can to stop it

but also women can be horrible and loads of them are. Does that mean i go around saying ‘ive just realised that women are emotional abusers..’ ? No, because it would be wrong. But loads if women i know do abusive things and i have plenty of friends in abusive relationships

you just have to look at female only friendship groups or female work environments to see the emotional bullying that goes on.

pretty much every teacher i know, and mum who has girls will say girls are horrible the way they treat eachother. Boys tend to be more violent and hit eachother more quickly, but girls psychologically bully and abuse eachother. That’s not a research based comment of mine, that’s what I’m told in parents evenings and conversations with other parents. I have a son and a daughter and i see gender differences there

and yeah there’s plenty of published research over the last 50yrs on the reciprocity of violence in relationships

Indeed.

A lot of the posters on here struggle to understand it's not all about them. It's about providing the statistics and a balanced picture of the reality so people can make an informed decision.

Hear hear. There are a large number of toxic women, both on this site and IRL. Women aren't saints. Far fucking from it.

I wish they didn’t arrive in the first place. 😂 Why don’t they realise when they’re making a dick of themselves?

I wish they wouldn't announce their departure in the first place, as if they're a bloody train.

Don't you wish when someone says they are going to leave a thread, they would fucking leave a thread.

I'll ask again -> what do you think your astonishingly lacking in self-awareness posts are achieving here, other than making yourself look really, really silly?

My family are not random people. I could easily post ‘evidence’ of 4 degrees, of which only 2 would be mine. I could also post ‘proof’ that I’m 44, 43, 28, 20 or 15 depending on which family members birth certificate I posted a photo of. Etc, etc.

Of course I wouldn’t post any of them because I’m not desperate to prove anything, because I’m not trying to prove that I’m not here with questionable intentions. You’re failing in that by the way. It’s easy to see what you are.

Comprehension skills appear to be on par with the TRA's to be fair.

OK, I admit it. I stole a random person's driving license.

The truly awful thing is that what I’m saying is true

child homicide perpetrators worldwide: a systemic review (Stockl et sl, BMJ, 2017)

This reflects physical, social and economic power differential and reinforced by social structures and prevailing culture, where for centuries women have not been afforded the same rights as men and have been treated as their husbands chattels. In the UK is is only in relatively recent modern history that is has become unlawful for a husband to beat his wife, unlawful for a husband to rape his wife, or for married women to have the right to enter in credit agreements independently of men. In other parts of the world women are still fighting for these rights. This history, and these differentials in physical, economic and social power affect who we all are and how we behave and live. They also affect the distribution, severity and impact of violence.

As has already been said, it proves nothing as it could be anyone’s, but your protesting too much and offering ‘proof‘ that proves nothing is a clear sign of being full of shite.

I'd like to see a link to "most children under 1 are killed by their mother".
The awful thing about you writing stuff like this is that people might believe you.

Yes, assuming they’re two different people. 🤔 I think someone is getting mixed up, it must be hard to keep track when you’re spouting crap from multiple accounts/usernames. No surprise there.

No, you are struggling to connect with anyone here other than men here with you bizarre narrative, because you have run into reality. The near universal lived experience of women, which is a source of considerable solidarity between us, is that male aggression and sexual violence is widespread and pervasive and represents a very significant threat to our safety and wellbeing. If it is not us who has been beaten or raped it is our mother, our sister, our daughter, our best friend or the woman we sit opposite at work. Women are terrorised by men-it affects us all and many men are involved.