to not have realised how abusive and horrible men were until I joined MN

Your lies are boring.

“Perpetrators were most likely to be a parent for those that had sufferered…physical abuse (father, 39% and mother, 29%).”

We've already addressed the point that crime stats are unreliable as many many men don't report for fear of being seen as weak - all the DV charities say that (see my links).

'We'. I think it's just you mate, and no one is bothering to read your links as you're making a tit of yourself.

You're assuming anyone can be arsed to read your posts though.

We are talking about male behaviour on this thread, your "but what about men" posts really are irrelevant so most people are probably scrolling by. If i were you and i wanted people to agree with me about how dangerous and violent women are to men, id start a new thread. Maybe on reddit or somewhere. You might find more people want to engage with you there.

@WalrusOfLove the absolute cringe of watching you tantrum online through the night and now into the morning.

Most child abuse is perpetrated by women.

Children have to be fearful of both going by that thanking then

We've already addressed the point that crime stats are unreliable as many many men don't report for fear of being seen as weak - all the DV charities say that (see my links).

If you looked at the incredibly low number of convictions for rape you could use the same argument to say it hardly ever happens and rape is almost non-existent.

1700 peer reviewed studies tell a different story about DV.

@Dancehalldarling "it happened on a thread the other day someone said how nice the relationship has been since having a child and there were 20 odd pages of absolutely disgusting vitriol to the OP."

If that's the thread I'm thinking about, you are grossly misrepresenting it!

Troll hunting is against the forum rules. 😉

... because it's whataboutery
Which doesn't mean doesn't happen in the real world.

If MN was representative of the real world, the Tories would never have made it in the last election.

MN is a small group of women. Many don't come and post because they see it as a joke or an offense to women.

Oh and also, if someone comes on and says how great their DH is they get dragged for “stealth boasts” being Braggy or goady/smug.

it happened on a thread the other day someone said how nice the relationship has been since having a child and there were 20 odd pages of absolutely disgusting vitriol to the OP.

... because it's whataboutery

its mostly women posting on mums etc so we are hearing mostly about men. There’s a a lot of women who equally treat their partners horrendously but you’re not hearing about them.

This forum is extremely biased and a far cry from the reality of life thankfully!

Is it? I'd actually argue completely the opposite. This is a place where women can post what is actually going on in their lives. Sure, that doesn't mean that Active Convos is full of women talking about how wonderful their partners are - what would be the point of that, as they wouldn't be asking for advice or help, would they?

I'd say that the reality - for many, many women - is fear. Fear of what might happen, as well as what may be actually happening, where men are concerned.

And that fear is of men. Of course NAMALT - but we never know, when walking down the street on our own, at night, if that man coming towards us is 'like my Nigel' or a potential attacker. And we wouldn't be thinking about the need to run/cross the road/walk faster if it was a woman approaching us.

YABU. This site is heavily biased towards women (and that’s ok). If you were on a site heavily biased towards men you’d see how vile women are too.

Also bear in mind that here that men only have to sneeze incorrectly and it’s LTB, usually from the hyperbolic posts, as posters generally know the bias here and use it to their advantage.

some men are abusive, so are some women. Yes this is usually in different ways but don’t underestimate how callus, viscious and calculated women can be. Though that’s usually applauded here.

I couldn’t imagine spending time on a forum that I find extremely biased. What do you get out of it?

You are wrong to think that a one sided account of a situation is representative of reality.

That and the fact that people are more likely to.oist to complain and moan.

This forum is extremely biased and a far cry from the reality of life thankfully!

Margaret Attwood's line, 'men are afraid women will laugh at them, women are afraid men will kill them', captures something pretty neatly.

I think it’s more that she’s looking for reasons not to act.

Exactly.

And that's not MN's fault!

Yes, MN will contain a disproportionate amount of threads reflecting negatively on relationships. It's not meant to be taken as representative of life as a whole.

Within those threads, there's a possibility of seeing one's own problematic situation and getting advice or encouragement to act.

I know when my life was at its worst point, I couldn't imagine anyone else dealing with what I was, I was totally broken. I only managed to end it when I sought legal advice & the barrister I spoke to told me straight out, with no equivocation that my marriage was over, there was no future. I was shocked but once I heard it, the next awful damaging thing my H did was the thing that prompted me to tell him to leave (and thankfully he did, not thinking it was permanent but again, thankfully it was).

You've got to be ready, and you also need to hear a clear message. That's where MN can come in.

It's silly to suggest your friend can't leave because of the negative situations she reads on MN. as you say, she isn't leaving as she isn't yet ready and is looking for excuses. Which we all do.

There's nasty women who can be cruel, but every single time someone made me scared for my life it has been a man.

• I was sexually molested when I was about 6/7 by a stranger. I went to a Christmas market with my father, holding his hand. A stranger used the crowd, which were bumping into each other, to put his hands on my bum and between my legs

• I was sexually molested as an adult woman in the city. I left the gym with my headphones on and all of a sudden I felt a hand between my legs. When I turned round, there was a group of laughing school boys running away

• my first boyfriend beat me violently and I thought he was going to kill me

• in my 20s I had a stranger follow me home from the bus stop to my house

• being catcalled several times in my life,being aggressively followed by a car. When I didn't give them any attention, being called a slut and a whore

Just some examples, although there are more

I also witnessed a man once violently beating and pushing his girlfriend/wife in public.

On two occasions I saw a man severely beating up another man.

The point I'm trying to make is that throughout my life, those situations of extreme violence/assault were caused by men. Despite the fact that I experienced plenty of unpleasant women.

Was it though? Because this:

I’m pretty sure that the first version mentioned “what you feel” instead of “what you men feel”, but I can hardly prove it.

reads like you are claiming the dastardly poster changed the meaning of her post before anyone but you saw it.

But you are clearly wrong- we can all see you are wrong. This is why you "can't prove it".

I think it’s more that she’s looking for reasons not to act.

I mean, she must lack some critical thinking skills then.

Of course there's a spectrum of behaviour & issues, most of which is represented on MN. To base a personal decision on a perceived demographic based on MN is nonsensical & hard to believe.

The power of MN is access to support & a community of experience, at times when women might feel isolated and vulnerable.

It's not a representation of all human kind nor a baseline to assess one's own relationship - that has to be done independently.

I think MN presents an unduly negative picture of men, as it does of almost everything. There are some absolute arseholes out there, also some lovely chaps who have nothing in common with the arseholes.

I have a friend who wants to leave her husband (one of the arseholes) but cites MN sometimes when wondering about whether she should actually do it- after all, plenty men on MN are worse than her husband. It’s like her whole view of the opposite sex has been skewed by reading this site.

Mate, this was resolved hours ago.