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AIBU?

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Original poster

I don’t know what do bully

40 replies

Mumguilt8 · 15/05/2024 14:02

Hi there, I just came in here for some advice please. So basically my son is in y9 and never really had trouble at school, good friendship group. Well over the weekend the 4 boys he chills with decided to turn on him for no reason( shocked) and sent him a text on Sunday saying they will jump him on Monday. He was stressed out and I told him ignore them and go find your other friends in school and chill with them. Monday came they were name calling him and he just ignored it. He then found a teacher who he told and she had a quick word and rang me and spoke to me and said it’s sorted. Well that night he was getting horrible messages from everyone saying he’s a snitch and he’s going get beaten up. I felt bad dropping him off and as I went work I got a call he got in a fight with one of the boys. They suspended the boy as he first and put my son in isolation. My son had was bruised and he was shaken up. That same night the amount of abuse the boys sent him was vile. They spread rumours that he got beaten up and he was scared they were saying. Today I’ve tried call school and they haven’t got back to me but I sent my son in school even though I felt really bad as he hasn’t ate or slept properly. Mum guilt came over and I went school about 10 to pick him up as I just felt like I couldn’t have him there and put him through it again. Teacher came saying I came take him as he’s in isolation due to that fight day before I said I don’t care I would like a intervention with their parents and school said no we can’t arrange this. I’ve take my son and at home. Did I do the right thing? Feel like they will only help everything a fight happens

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumguilt8 · 15/05/2024 14:17

Thanks for the message I could cry. I can’t stop crying for him(obviously on my own) I just think it’s only been 3 days and he’s just lost himself

OP posts:
CeffylCoch · 15/05/2024 14:17

Police & keep your son off until it is dealt with

SeasickAccountant · 15/05/2024 14:16

OP what an awful situation for you and your DS. At least he knows you have his back. The school must step in - ask them meet the Head, check their bullying policy etc etc. I know it's easier said than done. Good luck

BulldogMumma · 15/05/2024 14:16

I can't stand bullies. Ring the school and tell them unless they can guarantee his safety he won't be in school until they can, report the assault and the messages to the police too, they will follow it up. When my dd was being bullied and was being sent vile messages the police went to their houses and spoke to them and their parents.

rwa818 · 15/05/2024 14:16

Has he got the messages saved? I would be tempted to involve the police, he's been assaulted and receiving threats

Original poster
Mumguilt8 · 15/05/2024 14:16

I’ve taken the phone off him so he doesn’t look at any messages but baffled why they are treating him like that. I would like the school to set up a meeting with other parents and maybe discuss what’s going on. School won’t facilitate this and said I need to police and they can’t do anything

OP posts:
Lovewineandchocs · 15/05/2024 14:15

Your poor son! You did the right thing taking him home. Unfortunately more or less the exact same thing happened to my son last year and it didn't get better. The school were horrific at dealing with it so we took him out and got him into a different school where he's really happy. Is this a possibility?

Original poster
Mumguilt8 · 15/05/2024 14:13

They been messaging telling most of the school to meet by the church on Friday for a fight with my son.

OP posts:
Original poster
Mumguilt8 · 15/05/2024 14:12

As you might know when it’s comes to high school I’ve only met the parents very briefly so I don’t have any numbers for them. My son is just so quiet and keeps asking me why they doing this. I have no answers only hugs.

OP posts:
igomeow · 15/05/2024 14:11

You 100% did the right thing, I'm sure if a team was being treated like this by a colleague she'd want management to do something about it, it's so strange to me that children are supposed to just deal with it! It's so shitty when kids do this to each other (isolating one of the friendship group)
The school must have a anti bullying policy, do you know any of the other boys parents that you could talk with.. I would have gone crazy if I was told my son was bullying like this.

Dillydollydingdong · 15/05/2024 14:10

You need to do whatever it takes to protect your boy. If that means keep him at home, then keep him at home until it's safe for him to go back. Contact the parents yourself and home school him in the meantime. I know it's difficult. Kids can be so cruel.

TheCountessofLocksley · 15/05/2024 14:10

Sorry your son and you are going through this.

You next yo report to the police as an assault has taken place. Technically you don't need your sons co sent, but it's better all round if you can.

Call the school and ask for their behaviour policy (if you can't find it on the website). Ensure they are following all the steps and taking action to protect your son. Speak your the safeguarding lead and if things aren't resolved quickly escalate to the relevant governor.

This gov. Uk guidance might help

www.gov.uk/bullying-at-school

Original poster
Mumguilt8 · 15/05/2024 14:10

Thank you will check this hun, I feel like I’ve over reacted but seen him like this and what it’s done in 3 days has just got me so upset for him

OP posts:
curlywhirly99 · 15/05/2024 14:09

Read the schools bullying policy. It should set out what they should be doing. The question would then be why they are not…

My daughter had some friends in isolation for sending horrible text / social media content etc so maybe check if they have a policy covering this too

Original poster
Mumguilt8 · 15/05/2024 14:04

Sorry my spelling is terrible lol just read that

OP posts: