Page 13 | His comment when the bill came ....

mrprott · 2024-05-15T12:54:47+00:00

I went in a date recently. I was a little anxious before hand about the discomforts of f the bill situation but was and am adamant about splitting bills on dates bar coffees or waters etc. I knew midway through meal that he was a test so decided to enjoy rest of meal and put it down to experience. I suggested at the end we call for the bill. It came. He looked at it , sat back on his chair and with a swerve of his hand pointing at the bill said ..'do you want me to pay for this or what ?' In a really nonchalant voice .. I nearly died 😂🤣🙈 I was so shocked at how he spoke to me.... this boastful, popular , millionaire( his words ? with his jaguar and photos of his palatial spread .... The waiter caught sight of this and got awkward and left .. I said of course we're splitting it but in my fifty years of living on this earth, I have never been asked anything like this in such a way and I was mortified. He didn't understand this at all??? Shrugged his shoulder and that was that .. AIBU ?

pikkumyy77 · 15/05/2024 14:20

I think the whole phrase was rude—if he wanted to host he should just have graciously paid. If he wanted to split he could have simply said “oh we will be splitting the bill” ( to the waiter) or “would it be alright to split the bill?” To you.

Coconutter24 · 15/05/2024 14:19

mrprott · 15/05/2024 14:14

He called for the bill. Bill came to his side of table and then he sat back and came out with that rudeness in that tone of voice and yes I was mortified and very uncomfortable also .
I said no of course I don't want you to get this. We are splitting the bill, if you're happy with that?
He was like ...sure.... then proceeded to suggest I pay him Cash while he used Revolut to pay the total. Honest to fuck 🙄

Well this should be a lesson for all waiters/waitresses don’t assume the man is paying by putting the bill on his side of the table, put it in the middle! 😂

Meadowfinch · 15/05/2024 14:18

Oh well. You'd already decided the guy was a twat.

So you just hand the waiter your card and say 'we'll pay half each so charge half to this'. Then smile at twat and leave him to pay his half so you can go home.

The swagger always makes me laugh though. I once had a date who had boasted for three hours straight. When the bill came he threw down an American Express Black card.

To which the waiter said 'I'm sorry sir, we don't accept American Express.' I nearly choked laughing while I paid the bill with my humble HSBC Visa.

As you say, chalk it up to experience 🙂

Worriedpanda50 · 15/05/2024 14:18

What's Revolut?

Testina · 15/05/2024 14:18

I still don’t understand what happened!
Body language and tone of voice, yes… but what body language and tone of voice?

Patronising? Aggressive?

Whatever, it doesn’t matter because you didn’t like him. I’m just not sure what you’re actually describing.

I’m not knocking your assessment of his as a test/twat, but this bit, “I was a little anxious before hand about the discomforts of f the bill situation” does make it sound like you were more likely to be sensitive to whatever he said around the bill.

Willtheraineverstop · 15/05/2024 14:18

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/05/2024 14:08

Did you make any move to get your own purse out when the bill arrived or just sit on your hands looking expectant? If the latter than I don’t think he was unreasonable to be a bit curt - it was rude of you not to even make an attempt or suggestion that you might go halves at that point and therefore come across as assuming it would be a free meal. He probably gets the same assumption from many women and is a bit fed up of it.

Edited

I get what you're saying, however, if he's boasting to potential dates about being loaded and then he's setting himself up to fail imo.

He'd be better off keeping quiet until he gets to know someone better.

Coconutter24 · 15/05/2024 14:16

Didimum · 15/05/2024 14:14

MN in general, but I also don't understand mortification in this context – she clearly though he was a dick and very rude to phrase the bill question like that, so not sure where mortification comes in.

Show quote history

I think because he spoke to her the way he did it embarrassed her. The waiter heard which was probably also embarrassing

Original poster

mrprott · 15/05/2024 14:14

He called for the bill. Bill came to his side of table and then he sat back and came out with that rudeness in that tone of voice and yes I was mortified and very uncomfortable also .
I said no of course I don't want you to get this. We are splitting the bill, if you're happy with that?
He was like ...sure.... then proceeded to suggest I pay him Cash while he used Revolut to pay the total. Honest to fuck 🙄

OP posts:

Didimum · 15/05/2024 14:14

Coconutter24 · 15/05/2024 14:12

If you’re referring to OP it sounds like she’s used it correctly on how she was feeling in the situation.

Show quote history

MN in general, but I also don't understand mortification in this context – she clearly though he was a dick and very rude to phrase the bill question like that, so not sure where mortification comes in.

BellyPork · 15/05/2024 14:14

photos of his palatial spread

twat alright

Tospyornottospy · 15/05/2024 14:13

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/05/2024 14:08

Did you make any move to get your own purse out when the bill arrived or just sit on your hands looking expectant? If the latter than I don’t think he was unreasonable to be a bit curt - it was rude of you not to even make an attempt or suggestion that you might go halves at that point and therefore come across as assuming it would be a free meal. He probably gets the same assumption from many women and is a bit fed up of it.

Edited

This

Coconutter24 · 15/05/2024 14:12

Didimum · 15/05/2024 14:07

Anyone feel like 'mortified' is always used incorrectly on MN? It means humiliated/ashamed/embarrassed.

If you’re referring to OP it sounds like she’s used it correctly on how she was feeling in the situation.

ComtesseDeSpair · 15/05/2024 14:08

Did you make any move to get your own purse out when the bill arrived or just sit on your hands looking expectant? If the latter than I don’t think he was unreasonable to be a bit curt - it was rude of you not to even make an attempt or suggestion that you might go halves at that point and therefore come across as assuming it would be a free meal. He probably gets the same assumption from many women and is a bit fed up of it.

Original poster

mrprott · 15/05/2024 14:08

Sorry! I must not have explained it well.

Our bill was of similar cost when split.

When the bill came his body language , tone of voice and manners were atrocious.

We were always splitting the bill as far as I was concerned , but the way he threw out that comment left me cold coupled with his swag and gesturing.

Test meant twat

Not second date... in a million years.

OP posts:

Vroomfondleswaistcoat · 15/05/2024 14:07

Wouldn't you decide BEFORE the meal that you were going to split the bill? I'm longterm single so no issue about doing this with men, but if I go for a meal with friends we always sort out the 'who's going to pay' before we even sit down.

Didimum · 15/05/2024 14:07

Anyone feel like 'mortified' is always used incorrectly on MN? It means humiliated/ashamed/embarrassed.

Floofydawg · 15/05/2024 14:05

Sounds like a rude twat. If he was offering to pay then he should be gracious about it and not make it sound like he's doing you a massive favour. I don't know what some other posters aren't getting.

BusyMintCrab · 15/05/2024 14:05

The “or what” just sounds so rude!!

On to the next one OP!

ByUmberViewer · 15/05/2024 14:04

I kind of get what your saying - him saying "do you want me to pay for this or what?" is odd. I guess the answer is "no not at all we'll split it" which is pretty much what you said anyway. I wouldn't be all that keen to date him again though, jag/millionaire or not.

So why were you mortified?

Bringonthesunforthewashing · 15/05/2024 14:04

What did you both order?

Maybe he assumed you would be splitting and that was his socially awkward way of doing it.

Maybe if it was an unfair split he was pissed off about it?

We need to know who has what

Cornishclio · 15/05/2024 14:03

It sounded a bit rude of him but I would not have expected him to pay the whole thing even if he does drive a jaguar and live in a palace but seeing photos of his palatial spread on a first date would have left me cold anyway. No second date I assume.

nfkl · 15/05/2024 14:02

The #bekind dating is really bringing the best out of men😂
What a pollock!

Choice4567 · 15/05/2024 14:00

Asked you in what way? How can asking non chalantly make you feel mortified?

BodenCardiganNot · 15/05/2024 14:00

Why were you mortified?

Velvian · 15/05/2024 14:00

Do you want me to pay for this or what? Sounds pretty rude to me. YANBU.