Salt burn makes me worry for poor kids at ‘posh’ unis.

This makes my point much better than I did!

People decide to bully for many reasons OP - I know a girl who got very badly picked on for having been to one of the “big name” schools by people in her halls from more ordinary backgrounds. Bullies will bully wherever they find difference - your DS shouldn’t curtail his choices because of that.

There are no means-tested bursaries at Swansea, putting the university among a very small group of universities which elect not to support students in this way.

interesting

Kesio · Yesterday 23:19
tiagra · Yesterday 18:32

Family member went to St Andrews. He said the yahs kept to themselves, you were never part of their group.
I probably can’t blame the yahs for that, given the attitudes towards them written on this thread

Indeed. Tiagra, if you’re happy referring to people as ‘yahs’, presumably you’re happy to refer to people as ‘oiks’?

where did you go to university OP?

Dd is at a "posh" University. We are fairly middle class I guess, but she was nicknamed "the povvo " (poor person) and assumed to be on benefits! She did find it quite hard to fit in, but she eventually found her people and now enjoys it. It has opened her eyes, however, to a different world!!

I actually think it is psychos generally you need to watch out for: rich or even titled psychos, middle class “middle child syndrome“ psychos and impoverished, difficult upbringing psychos. I don’t think there is a social class that is inherently problematic or free from problems.

^ yes, exactly. Felix was astonished because Oliver had sold him a total lie. He thought Oliver's house was really nice and his parents were decent and as far from the deadbeat drug addicts Oliver had sold them as.

This was also at the point that Felix should have ditched Oliver then and there, but he knew his mum had planned the big party (and probs recognised his mum needed a summer project) so he kept up appearances by taking him back for one last time. And he had this innate sense of 'decency' or 'politeness' that was hardwired into his aristocratic code. Plus Oliver was nothing to him now so he had that teflon-coated arrogance that comes with privilege, that meant it didn't matter what he did with Oliver because he was soon to be an irrelevance in his life.....

The whole point was that Felix would never have looked at Oliver in the first place if he had been just a 'regular' guy. It was the poor angle that got him hooked. The more tragic Oliver made his story, the more Felix was interested. That's why Oliver despised him, because he knew he was just a 'pet' or novelty for the poshos. He would always be an imposter. (I mean that - and he was also a total psychopathic nutjob.)

So the Saltburn manifesto on University survival is...... it is those 'middle' guys with a huge chip on their shoulder - neither rich enough not to care, nor poor enough to be fiercely proud of where they have come from, that you have to watch out for.....👀

This post makes a really good point that also gets lost in discussion of this movie.

Oliver claimed he had a very impoverished, dysfunctional background, but he didn’t.

He wasn’t a landed toff, no. But there are many shades of existence between impoverished and dysfunctional and living in a stately home.

On another thread someone stated that a Felix was astonished on arriving at Oliver’s home because of its lowliness. I didn’t take it that way at all: if Felix looked astonished it was because the homely house was the first gentle unveiling in his mind that Oliver was dishonest. The house wasn’t what Felix was used to, but even he could see it was the house of home-makers who cared and could afford to parent Oliver appropriately. The meeting with the parents confirmed this and unveiled further lies. That scene was not a snobbish scene: it was the scene in which Felix began to realise he was dealing with someone unusual - and not in a socio-economic sense.

I think Oliver's problem (if we are bringing it back to Saltburn) is that he was too ordinary. He despised his very average stable background- not rich enough, or poor enough, to be remarkable. He had no 'story'. He had a loving family, comfortable home, foreign holidays ... how very basic.

I mean, Felix was intoxicating by anyone's standards. Who wouldn't want to be in his orbit (Elordi-lordy!) So actually, those around him were scrapping for a piece of him - Farley got by on the 'diversity' card (and his mother's goodtime reputation) - until he was reminded that he was an imposter.

The girls got an 'in' by being available to sleep with Felix whenever he wanted...so really, no one was winning, everyone was selling themselves up the river to some extent (even Felix, who symbolically, ended up in the actual river).

Peterhouse?

I probably can’t blame the yahs for that, given the attitudes towards them written on this thread.

when I went to uni in the 90s, nobody gave a shit who went to what kind of school. We had people from Eton, people from poorly performing comps and everything in between. I actually remember one person obsessing about what kind of school people had attended and taunting them about it - and he was a fucking nasty bully.

My DS is in his 1st year at Bath, it really isn't "posh" and is a complete mix of backgrounds.
We are pretty middle class with decent income but somewhere like Durham would have concerned me more.

YABU. DH went to Oxford from a very poor town, mediocre state school and working class parents.

He fitted in fine, joined the Labour Club and made lots of great pals. He’s got a top career in one of the established professions and has friends from ever walk of life.

There’s plenty of normal kids at all the top unis.

Saltburn is fiction OP....

I was a state school kid at what's probably the poshest college in cambridge in the 90s.

Honestly it was fine. There were plenty of other state school kids.

Many of the private school kids were hard working middle class types.

There were people from Eton, Westminster and other smart schools. The ones I knew were nnainly doing Engish writing plays and smoking a lot of good stuff. Not hooray Henry's at all.

There was something called the Pitt Club which was the cambridge equivalent of the Bullingdon Club. But out of 9000 undergraduates, the percentage who wanted to join that was infinitesimally small.

There was also the Cambridge Union which could be a bit rah and a fave haunt for the Cambridge University Conservative Association. Good speakers and debates though and only a tiny percentage of people were involved in a big way.

Your average cambridge kid is a state of private school kid who is bright, and works hard, and likes going out with their friends, and is overall very normal.

Oh yes, didn’t think of that.

Or Frederick …

Actually the Prince William factor could explain why @tiagra’s relative said there was some cliquey behaviour. Anyone choosing a university because a royal went there might well be a socially ambitious/ grasping type.

But worry not OP: I don’t think Bath or Exeter will have that vibe. They will be students from all walks who, money or not, have had to work hard to get there and will be looking forward to making friends with other people interested ( and interesting) on their courses.

rich not ‘Rick’ although could be a rich person named Rick but more likely Nick.

I was told by a Rick person that St Andrews is hard to get into and has quite high intake of international students because Prince William went there. When I was younger, went to uni late nineties, it wasn’t particularly high grades to get into St Andrews so I was surprised about that.

Were they unkind?

Family member went to St Andrews. He said the yahs kept to themselves, you were never part of their group.

And in fact plenty of wealthy students (or, I should say, students with wealthy parents) are given fairly tight budgets for these very reasons. Not everyone is given a massive allowance to play round with.

And is it really so incredible to some posters that people might make friends regardless of wealth? @WinnerwinnerGinfordinner is hardly alone in the friendship dynamic she describes. Amazingly, privately educated people actually enjoy the company of people with similar academic interests .