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Original poster

All men cheat

135 replies

laviniamarie · 15/05/2024 09:29

I was having a coffee with a friend this morning she's literally just left and I can't get my head round what she's said, we were talking about our lives and husbands and shes let it slip her dh had an affair several years ago and she thinks he's at it again.

I never had any words of advice as my own dh would never do such a thing and I was quite shocked to hear her say that "every man would cheat given an opportunity" apparently she thinks that of he thinks he will never be caught he will do it.

What are your thoughts on this? To me it's utter bullshit, I have been married 6 years and my husbands whole world revolves around me and our children. He's a genuinely lovely human being and I don't think he would ever cheat but according to my friend he would if he thought he'd never be caught.

OP posts:
whosaidtha · 15/05/2024 13:17

I don't think all men cheat but I think it's very naive to assume your dh won't. How many threads start 'I never in a million years thought he would do this to me...'

AngryBird6122 · 15/05/2024 13:16

YorkNew · 15/05/2024 12:53

So it seems few mumsnetters’ DH’s would cheat except on the relationship board where every other post is from a surprised woman whose DH has.

Right?!

I am as sure as I can be that I don’t think dh would. But to say you KNOW he wouldn’t is a bit naive.

TomeTome · 15/05/2024 13:15

No it’s not true. It’s a bit like saying “everyone shop lifts” or “everyone hates the toddler years” or “everyone speeds”.

5128gap · 15/05/2024 13:15

Unless you're getting red flags, it's like car accidents or illness, you don't go around waiting for it and worrying about it. At the same time, given that 50% of marriages don't last (not always due to cheating I know, but clearly indicative that people and feelings change) it's a bit daft to categorically deny there is any possibility, unless you're married to someone physically incapable or someone who would never get an opportunity.
If your husband barely leaves the house, has low or no sex drive, is not the type that would be considered attractive, the odds are stacked in your favour. If he's a typical averagely attractive man who gets out and about and meets other women, there is no guarantee that he will never meet another woman he prefers, or is tempted by. And unless you live in his head, you cannot guarantee for sure how he would respond not only now, but for the rest of his life. No one can.

RobertaFirmino · 15/05/2024 13:12

Completely untrue but your friend is hurting. She'd likely prefer to hear 'Some of them can be utter shits, can't they?' than 'Well mine would never do that...'.

AngryBird6122 · 15/05/2024 13:08

I think MOST men would given the opportunity, but not ALL

BeaRF75 · 15/05/2024 13:07

Some men do. Some men don't.
Some women do. Some women don't.

Generalisations are worthless and pointless.

Nori10 · 15/05/2024 13:05

No, not all men cheat. I believe my DH is one of the good ones, but I couldn't rule out 100% that he'd never cheat on me, purely because I've known women who were genuinely blindsided by their partner’s cheating. Last thing they ever thought they would do or were even capable of.

LightsOnSparklingTowers · 15/05/2024 13:04

Your friend is trying to making herself feel better by saying all men would cheat. It doesn’t really matter what she says.

Porageeater · 15/05/2024 13:01

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 15/05/2024 12:59

I was talking about this with a friend and we both said we can never imagine our partners/husbands cheating. My sil husband cheated on her which none of us saw coming but all you can do is have faith in your husband as I do in mine and carry on.

I think that’s right. You can’t go around thinking they will cheat and have to trust.

StarbucksQueen1 · 15/05/2024 12:59

People who say this have bad experiences with men. My ex was a prick but my now DH just wouldn’t and I know that otherwise we wouldn’t be together.

DinnaeFashYersel · 15/05/2024 12:59

The majority don't cheat.

Willtheraineverstop · 15/05/2024 12:59

cuckyplunt · 15/05/2024 12:51

Absolutely not this. My DH would never cheat.. anymore than I would cheat on him.

Show quote history

It says that not ALL men will cheat, perhaps you're one of the lucky ones 🤷‍♀️

teaandtoastwithmarmite · 15/05/2024 12:59

I was talking about this with a friend and we both said we can never imagine our partners/husbands cheating. My sil husband cheated on her which none of us saw coming but all you can do is have faith in your husband as I do in mine and carry on.

MagnetCarHair · 15/05/2024 12:58

SpringerFall · 15/05/2024 12:57

No idea if my husband would cheat or not but as I haven't organised I would be extremely surprised

Show quote history

🤣🤣

SpringerFall · 15/05/2024 12:57

YorkNew · 15/05/2024 12:53

So it seems few mumsnetters’ DH’s would cheat except on the relationship board where every other post is from a surprised woman whose DH has.

No idea if my husband would cheat or not but as I haven't organised I would be extremely surprised

ballytravlr · 15/05/2024 12:54

the80sweregreat · 15/05/2024 10:58

Most ' cheaters' I've know in the past seven years have been women.

They slept with other women?

TravelingReader · 15/05/2024 12:54

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines - previously banned poster.

YorkNew · 15/05/2024 12:53

So it seems few mumsnetters’ DH’s would cheat except on the relationship board where every other post is from a surprised woman whose DH has.

Porageeater · 15/05/2024 12:52

And I had been with mine for 25 years

Porageeater · 15/05/2024 12:51

No all men will not cheat.

But it’s not possible to know who will and who won’t. I thought mine wouldn’t and he did.

cuckyplunt · 15/05/2024 12:51

Willtheraineverstop · 15/05/2024 12:43

This!

Show quote history

Absolutely not this. My DH would never cheat.. anymore than I would cheat on him.

cuckyplunt · 15/05/2024 12:50

Not my man.. not ever!

SlothsNeverGetIll · 15/05/2024 12:48

Total bullshit.
And no, I'm not in denial.
I've been with DH for 20 years and know him inside out and he would not cheat. And he does get the opportunity as he works away from home.

studioussquirrel · 15/05/2024 12:48

Greenleavesinthesun · 15/05/2024 12:46

It’s more true than not.

And often when the partner finds out they are in utter shock as they had thought that they were with someone who wouldn't ever cheat. I think it is the utter disbelief and shock they feel which feeds into the inference that all men must cheat.