Cost of therapy

Have you explored what triggered the second visit per week, after so many years in therapy already?

This is what I'd be wondering about.

I think I'd focus on that rather than the cost for the time being.

There have been a few recent press articles about the dynamic between therapist and patient recently.

Who proposed the additional session? Has he seen his GP recently too?

Therapy absolutely does not have to cost a fortune, certainly not £7k a year for 10 years. That’s nothing like what I’ve paid, and I had some serious stuff to work through including CPTSD.

There has to be a point one questions if it is actually helping, there is a risk the therapist is keeping him on because it’s good income. Any therapist I’ve seen has always done periodic reviews to make sure we’ve progressed and are working towards proper closure.

I think it's difficult if you have different expectations and views of therapy. I'm in long term therapy and yes, it's expensive, but without it, I'd probably not be alive and therefore it's an essential to me.

This is an insane amount of therapy (session/length wise) and not normal. Is it not effective? if he needs it, can he access it on the NHS? Can you share what is it for?

For some people, therapy is a short term thing. For others, therapy might be needed their whole lives. It depends on the extent or severity if their health issues.

Think of it like medication. Some people just need a course. Others have conditions that means they'll need it until they die.

You say you don't see a difference, but it matters more than he feels one.

At most, in your shoes, I'd ask him to consider requesting therapy from the NHS... But if he hasn't taken that pathway before, it might be some time until they confirm his mental health is problem enough to warrent long term therapy.

That said, if we could afford it as you say you can, I wouldn't mess with it at all.

The problem appears to be that you don't feel like there is much space on the relationship for you.

I feel s sorry for him, honestly I do. But 10 years indicates that this isn't something he is going to come through any time soon and 10 years is a lot of time to be putting yourself in second place. I think you need to come to terms with this being your forever situation, not something you are temporarily supporting him through and you need to figure out if that's bearable.

Cant edit but 3rd paragraph should be in bold.

We're not struggling to pay bills etc, it's just that we're not saving as much as we'd like to and this is probably our biggest cost.

He thinks it’s helping and you can afford it, so I do think YABU.

He complains about the cost if we get a takeaway etc. so I feel like we have to cut back on luxuries yet he is having huge amounts of therapy which cost a fortune.*

I’d be having a takeaway or whatever else you like if I was you.

Wow

Honestly? If you’re not skint then I have NO idea why you’re not supporting your husband in this.

Sorry, but I think you sound mean ( and tight) and a bit like a brat, therapy isn’t really a nice to have luxury! He obviously requires is - do you really think saving for a holiday / car / rainy day, having a takeaway is more important than your husbands wellbeing?

edited to add : imagine if you had posted the reverse of this ‘my husband thinks I spend too much on my therapy and thinks we should save and have treats instead’ IMAGINE THE RAGE OF MN there would be LTB’s all over the shop!

Therapy does cost a fortune. I am a trainee therapist it costs a fortune privately as it’s costs a fortune to train, get supervision, pay tax etc. there are only so many hours a week you can work, as it is intense. Can I suggest you go for couples therapy about this. You have your issues, so does he. Maybe there’s something you could uncover together that might help pave the way forward. Important to have a plan and goal for therapy. What is his therapists style? Humanistic or integrative I think are best at getting to the heart of the issue and on the path to truth and wholeness. Btw, my therapist would not do more than an hour a week as it’s not enough time between sessions. I can see why a therapist would agree to it, it’s more pay but maybe there are reasons. On the other hand, maybe it’s something he enjoys, talking at depth about things with his therapist. If it’s his thing, maybe it’s not a waste, you’d just hope there’s a treatment plan and objectives. And if it’s not being effective, the plan being revisited to see what’s not working. Go together tho, I think for a few sessions.

To be in therapy for this length of time isn't normal and if there is little change I would suspect the therapist doesn't want to lose the income really.

That's a huge amount of money. Do you know why it was upped to twice a week? I find it hard to imagine what there could possibly be left to say after 10 years.