Will I throw this one back ... social media activity

LifeisHard73 · 20/05/2024 12:04

RachelGreep87 · 15/05/2024 08:03

Fiona?

😂😂

BeckiBoBecki · 19/05/2024 23:21

gona · 15/05/2024 07:42

I'm chatting to a man on WhatsApp. Busy schedules have not all owed us to meet for the last couple of weeks but we have plans for next week to meet up.
Before I meet any date I do my best to find out as much about
then as I can via people and sm.

He is as true as his word regarding his plans and commitments and I can see this via social media.

I have been catfished once and if I had done my research on others I would have saved my self a lot of stress. This is why I do this.

This man has given me no reason to believe he isn't who he says he s but I had a look on his socials.

They are chock full of sports, footie, current affairs reposts. Nothing sinister but there are, out of hundreds of likes, a couple of posts/ photos of curvy women. Nothing very revealing or sexual, just women with large breasts. Possibly three likes photos out of hundreds.
Is this a red flag ? Would you throw him back?
I'm
Out of this scene for a very long time so appreciate your views. Thanks.

You're stalking a dude and judging him on a few likes? Hes single atm ... you get that right? Yet you are already policing his social media.

You are the red flag, cancel the date so the poor guy dodges a bullet.

Oh and get some therapy. or a massive bottle of wine, you wierdo.

LT1982 · 19/05/2024 16:06

gona · 15/05/2024 09:29

Funnily enough , it was the the many posts on mn that made me think to check socials to get a feel for what type of men I may be dating.
I had read countless posts from women about being three/ five dates in and these dates were suggesting all sorts that the women were not happy with . Or they had been expressing specific political, cultural, misogynistic/ religious views that the women found abhorrent .

Checking their socials will normally give a good indication of peoples interests, leanings etc but only after these dates, did the women see this.

I think it's actually a great idea to do some digging and I always encourage my adult children to do the same although in Ireland, you're normally one phone call away from information .

I broke up with an ex when I found that he had liked and hearted every single match/ date he had made on the dating sites despite telling me that he had no time for ex anything . Past is past 🙄🙄🙄🙄

If you are of an age to have adult children is he also a similar age and how old are the womens pics hes liking?

cockadoodledandy · 18/05/2024 16:58

Straight man finds women attractive. Perfectly normal. Why would it be a red flag? If he was liking photos of women in pain or the BNP then sure, but this just sounds like he’s acknowledged a woman being attractive?

rollonretirementfgs · 18/05/2024 16:20

I think someone needs to warn HIM about you!

MightyGoldBear · 18/05/2024 16:15

Mrsgus · 17/05/2024 18:42

@MightyGoldBear
I do get what you are saying to a certain degree, but in this day and age virtually everything now is visual. We get everything 'perfect' rammed down our throats on SM, Love Island and all that BS. But why should a man be vilified something chronic for 'liking' a couple of posts of a random, or someone he may know, which has clearly become more than what it should? It does NOT make him a mysonogistic pig or a pervert in any way!!
From what you have said, Slash (Guns N'Roses guitarist) could have me down as a mad, psycho stalker for the pics I have perved over of him all over the Internet.
And actually porn can be a part of a very healthy relationship if both parties are happy with it 🤷‍♀️
Fiona would have nothing on me!!
Sent from an I-phone

Social media and "visual stimulation" is only rammed down us if we are actively participating in it. In my eyes this anonymous man isn't vilified its his right to live however he wants to. But op is too and to set her values accordingly. If she wants someone that's not overly active on social media doesn't appreciate finding purely images attractive or that kind of scrolling instant gratification behaviour attractive she's well within her rights to say he isn't for her.

I would already know he wouldn't be for me with the football and drinking let alone the liking womens photos. It would be on me if I choose to investigate further or lose out on the potential partner. As women we don't owe men the benefit of the doubt. We also don't have to lower our values in a partner because lots of people engage in a behaviour, we don't value.

Being able to engage in porn in a relationship or solo to a 'healthy' degree or with no negative consequences isn't the same as porn being healthy.
The same as drugs and alcohol are toxins to our bodies but plenty can engage without major negative consequences. They still aren't healthy for us.

Ethically alone I'd ask why would you want to. Let alone the changes to your neural pathways.

greenbeansrock · 18/05/2024 11:01

Lotty101 · 18/05/2024 08:43

so at some point in his SM history he’s hit like on a couple pictures of women… and you’re making this out to be some kind of big deal having no idea who these women are!? Let me tell u a little story about making assumptions based on what u see on social media. My brother once had an interest in a woman he worked with and asked her out and got rejected which confused him as they got along well and she seemed interested in him. But he took the hint, moved on, and met another woman who is now his wife. When he first got together with the woman who is now his wife, the other woman reached out to her and asked her how she could possibly date someone with a child and didn’t it bother her? My brother didn’t have a child; the woman had been on his social media, seen photos of my brother with his niece and made an assumption that it was his daughter and that’s why she turned him down. She was actually interested and missed out because she made assumptions without knowing facts based on photos she saw on social media.

this post demonstrates nothing other than this woman was utterly unhinged to message a woman she doesn’t know to judge her for dating a man with a child

ThisOldThang · 18/05/2024 10:22

Lotty101 · 18/05/2024 08:43

so at some point in his SM history he’s hit like on a couple pictures of women… and you’re making this out to be some kind of big deal having no idea who these women are!? Let me tell u a little story about making assumptions based on what u see on social media. My brother once had an interest in a woman he worked with and asked her out and got rejected which confused him as they got along well and she seemed interested in him. But he took the hint, moved on, and met another woman who is now his wife. When he first got together with the woman who is now his wife, the other woman reached out to her and asked her how she could possibly date someone with a child and didn’t it bother her? My brother didn’t have a child; the woman had been on his social media, seen photos of my brother with his niece and made an assumption that it was his daughter and that’s why she turned him down. She was actually interested and missed out because she made assumptions without knowing facts based on photos she saw on social media.

It seems your brother really dodged a bullet. Who on earth does she think she is messaging his partner and questioning their relationship?

IncompleteSenten · 18/05/2024 08:45

It doesn't sound like a red flag to me.

Lotty101 · 18/05/2024 08:43

so at some point in his SM history he’s hit like on a couple pictures of women… and you’re making this out to be some kind of big deal having no idea who these women are!? Let me tell u a little story about making assumptions based on what u see on social media. My brother once had an interest in a woman he worked with and asked her out and got rejected which confused him as they got along well and she seemed interested in him. But he took the hint, moved on, and met another woman who is now his wife. When he first got together with the woman who is now his wife, the other woman reached out to her and asked her how she could possibly date someone with a child and didn’t it bother her? My brother didn’t have a child; the woman had been on his social media, seen photos of my brother with his niece and made an assumption that it was his daughter and that’s why she turned him down. She was actually interested and missed out because she made assumptions without knowing facts based on photos she saw on social media.

HulaChick · 18/05/2024 08:05

Why do people even have their SM set to Public and not Private/Friends only these days? If someone did a search on my SM, they'd only see my profile pics!

greenbeansrock · 18/05/2024 07:50

jbm16 · 18/05/2024 02:06

This is giving you a false sense of security, having spent over 30 years in IT, including cyber, the absolute worst kind of men have no (or fake) digital footprint, and rather keep everything very secretive and secure.

If his entire feed was likes about women I would suggest it's a red flag, if all the other interactions with him have been good, I wouldn't discount on this alone.

Show quote history

good point

SeanMean · 18/05/2024 07:08

Agree that you sound like the red flag.🚩

jbm16 · 18/05/2024 02:06

gona · 15/05/2024 12:53

Couldn't disagree more...

Anyone with a public social media account clearly doesnt care about personal privacy.

I actually think it's really important to get an idea of what the potential date is about or stands for.

It has served me well in the past.

I urge all people to do that esp women I love and care for .

This is giving you a false sense of security, having spent over 30 years in IT, including cyber, the absolute worst kind of men have no (or fake) digital footprint, and rather keep everything very secretive and secure.

If his entire feed was likes about women I would suggest it's a red flag, if all the other interactions with him have been good, I wouldn't discount on this alone.

EnglishBluebell · 18/05/2024 01:51

cherry2727 · 15/05/2024 07:54

You sound like the red flag!

Yep!

jbm16 · 18/05/2024 01:45

gona · 15/05/2024 08:01

I'm the red flag because I want to see if I'm wasting my time with a sleaze/ creep/ weirdo / catfish before I meet him??
His is a public account.
But ok .

Understand you want to be careful as been hurt before, but would suggest it's kind of weird reviewing 100's of his posts.

Men are different when it comes to visual sexual stimuli, if just the odd like I wouldn't see this as a red flag, if in all other conversations he comes across normal.

StuffLoriThangs · 17/05/2024 18:55

Lanawashington · 15/05/2024 08:02

How can you see what photos he’s liked? I thought Facebook and instagram got rid of that ages ago. Unless you are keeping track of every post that comes up on your Facebook news feed

It must be twitter/X

edit: I’m sorry. I’m so late to the party on this.

Mrsgus · 17/05/2024 18:42

@MightyGoldBear
I do get what you are saying to a certain degree, but in this day and age virtually everything now is visual. We get everything 'perfect' rammed down our throats on SM, Love Island and all that BS. But why should a man be vilified something chronic for 'liking' a couple of posts of a random, or someone he may know, which has clearly become more than what it should? It does NOT make him a mysonogistic pig or a pervert in any way!!
From what you have said, Slash (Guns N'Roses guitarist) could have me down as a mad, psycho stalker for the pics I have perved over of him all over the Internet.
And actually porn can be a part of a very healthy relationship if both parties are happy with it 🤷‍♀️
Fiona would have nothing on me!!
Sent from an I-phone

greenbeansrock · 17/05/2024 16:43

@Choochoo21

I am very pro-women

what does that even mean?!

AnitaLoos · 17/05/2024 15:22

Who exactly are the three pictures of? Marilyn Monroe on a retro fan account? Friends posting ‘going out’ selfies? Salma Hayek at the Oscars on the Mail Online account? You say they aren’t porn so what are they? I think I’ve probably liked pix of eg a young Paul Newman but don’t think that makes me a sex pest

Choochoo21 · 17/05/2024 15:21

I am very pro-women and I tend to ‘like’ many women’s photos on Instagram, especially if they are beautiful or curvy.

I am not a perv or lesbian.

Even if you get married, he is still going to find other women attractive and still like their photos.

You do seem to have stalked him a bit too much (a bit is fine to make sure he’s not married etc but this is a bit extreme), which is a red flag in itself.

But he’s not giving off any red flags from what you’ve said.

Headtothestreets · 17/05/2024 15:13

Sounds like the chap has dodged a bullet!

Taurusenergy · 17/05/2024 14:54

I say single as you said you are dating so if I got that wrong then excuse me for saying that lol

Taurusenergy · 17/05/2024 14:52

Men are visual beings, and of course us girls appreciate a good looking man too.

I can see why this would look like a red flag as he's liking it to let the girl know he likes it. Let's be honest here lol.

But he's single, and for me I would give him a chance. If you get into a relationship and he's liking girls pics all the time then that would put me off. He can look all he wants as humans we do but I wouldn't feel secure and that's just me being honest.

KitKatChunki · 17/05/2024 14:20

Are you sure they aren't "friends" OP (as in with benefits)? My ex used to only like bikini shots of his emotional affair - any flash of tit from her and it'd be a big fat like and they'd exchange some 'winky' messages grim They had a lovely holiday together after we split...

I think this is hugely common on social media. Exes of mine turn up booty calling regularly throughout the year grim and I'd be wary of that too.