Is my fella being petty?

OP, perhaps suggest to your charming ‘’fella’’ that if he stopped being such a twat to them, they might just stop talking to him accordingly.

This. Why would you subject your children to this? He sounds horrible.

What a cheeky bastard!! ‘’In his own home’’ 🤣🤣 The kids were there first and it’s their home, too! That has infuriated me. OP needs some bloody standards. The shit that women deem acceptable never, ever ceases to amaze me. Why was she even asking whether or not she should go!?

This is from your other thread about this awful man
It's clear he doesn't like my children - he said it's awful to have to put up with the way they speak him in his own home etc.
what should I do: stay or go?
You need to decide who is more important to you - your children or him?

So just to go slightly against the grain.
My kids have gone through phases of being utterly thoughtless. Leaving stuff on the counter, not getting a loo roll when they finish one, dropping stuff and not picking it up.
I used to let it slide and not say anything and I realised that I was basically just running around doing every thing and they were going to grow up to be utterly selfish men who let women do everything

So yes now I don't put the bowl in the dishwasher even if I could and am putting something in myself, I call them down and tell them to. If I spot a loo roll missing I tell them to come and replace it. If they drop something I tell them to come and pick it up.
They are getting better ! Occasionally the whole kitchen is cleared away without me asking, sometimes they tidy their room spontaneously!
You have to decide whether you care about this and whether the rest of the relationship with your DP works. But hauling them up on the small stuff may not in isolation be necessarily a bad thing

How long were you together when he moved in. You can have a relationship without living together you know. You don't have to introduce them to your kids if you don't want to.

He sounds awful!! Why would you expose your poor kids to this? You need to find your anger & kick the bastard out. (And I say that as someone who has kids/been divorced & now has a blended family..so I have been there myself)

I've said 'fella' to myself too many times now, it's turned into a non-word.

He sounds like such a boring misery bum with his constant whinging. I’d dump for that alone, but definitely for the apparently never ending nitpicking of your children.

As an aside, I have 2 children who are ND and someone telling me they thought it was just an excuse for bad behaviour would be a huge red flag for me. I wouldn’t be friends with someone like that, let alone be in a relationship with them.

Oh and I voted YABU because you're being unreasonable in allowing this to happen. Not in questioning it

The fact that he barely saw his own children means that he's a shit dad so I'm not sure why you expected better to your own children.

You know your children? You chose to bring them into this world. You made a commitment to raise, nurture and support them through their childhoods and beyond.

It doesn't matter that he has children or that they're older or that he's been through this before or any of that (although, how much of this has he been through with his own children given he's no long with their mum).

This is your children's one and only childhood.

What they learn through these years about people, relationships, their worth and their place in the world will be the blueprint for the rest of their lives.

Of course they're not happy with how he talks to them.

They have no control over who you bring into their lives. You do. Start taking responsibility for that.

There is no way I'd allow someone around my children who didn't treat them with respect.

I mean he's never been an involved father so for all intents and purposes he hasn't been around children enough to understand that what your children are doing are completely normal.

Morning Hyacinth!

I have no idea why you're with a man that doesn't like your children.

There is a man living living in your children's home that doesn't like them and makes them unhappy. Why?

What an idiot he is. From reading your post, you actually have 2 children and a "MAN child"

He needs to accept this is what kids do, alternatively he needs to find his own "man cave" to live in 🙄

From the 50s or modern?

No. It’s used all over.

There are songs with the word fella in and some American singers with the name fella as part of their title

If you continue to allow this man to treat your children like this you are likely to end up not seeing much of them when they are old enough to move out. If you chose a man over your children they will remember and act accordingly. Get rid of him now while your children are still young enough to benefit from it.

Why are you letting this man be such a d**k to your children. Tell him to shape up or ship off. You don't need a man sized child in your life. It is abundantly clear why his adult children don't have a good relationship.

Christ, is there a particular reason you feel the need to keep saying ‘’my fella’’ in one passage? Are you overly proud to be attached or something? Even though he sounds like a twat?

Your kids sounds like perfectly normal kids. They don't deserve this moaning and pettiness.

Let me guess, he lives with you and doesn't pay any rent and pays half the bills but eats 90% of the food? He doesn't do any housework because he says it's your children who make the mess. Am I right?

Why is your bar so low?
Would you rather have a shit man than no man at all?