Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to LOATHE the word "Situationship"?

63 replies

PyongyangKipperbang · 15/05/2024 00:40

Its nonsensical!

Surely its "Going out with...."

So you have Dating ( going on dates, maybe sleeping together but not exclusive), then Going Out With (not living together,but not seeing other people and developing/developed feelings), then Relationship (for me this is more than 6 months but less than 2 years because...) then Long Term Relationship (whether living together/married or not).

Its a bloody stupid word. To me it would mean, if I had to define it, people who have been in a LTR but have to stay in their current arrangement for practical reasons, such a cant afford to run two homes or their house wont sell or similar. The first few times I read it, I assumed that that was what it meant and had to Google it.

Probably going to be told IABU but it really bugs me!

OP posts:
OfcourseitsaNC · 15/05/2024 11:15

Verv · 15/05/2024 11:12

In a situationship with a fella and going on hollibobs with his famalam.

Get out.

Internally screaming 🤣🤣🤣

Verv · 15/05/2024 11:12

In a situationship with a fella and going on hollibobs with his famalam.

Get out.

Verv · 15/05/2024 11:11

This is the first time I've heard it, and I hate it.

TheCatJumps · 15/05/2024 11:10

AngeloMysterioso · 15/05/2024 06:12

This is how I’ve always thought of it too. A relationship (not necessarily romantic) that is driven mainly by the situation around it.

Show quote history

Yes, this. But it can be applicable to sexual relationships that are similarly dependent on circumstances/situations. Like aeons ago (long before the term was coined), I had a friend who lived nearby, and we slept together on a fairly regular basis when we were both single (FWB, but again, before the term existed). When I moved to a different part of London, the sex stopped, because it would have taken us an hour or more to travel to one another, though we’re still friends, and he came to my wedding.

sammylady37 · 15/05/2024 11:03

OfcourseitsaNC · 15/05/2024 06:12

I agree. It's a stupid word.

But you've missed out so many options @PyongyangKipperbang 🤣

By your definition, I'm in a LTR with my FWB. I'm really not, as it's not exclusive (another word I hate) and the word relationship implies we have commitment to each other. We don't. We hang out to have fun and have sex.

I tell people "The man I'm seeing..." Suitably vague.

I refer to them as my gentlemen callers 😃

Pieceofpurplesky · 15/05/2024 10:59

Beefcurtains79 · 15/05/2024 07:01

Why would you hate the word ‘exclusive’?
How bizarre.

@OfcourseitsaNC sums it up perfectly.

If you are in a relationship then being exclusive should be the norm!

CheekyHobson · 15/05/2024 10:59

I read “situationship” (or “It’s Complicated”) as “I have poor boundaries / low self-esteem”.

Alittlefrustrated · 15/05/2024 10:58

Never heard it before. Seems like nonsense to me. As does "exclusive". I'd expect anyone asking me out on dates to only be dating me. But then again, I'm 55 - we "went out" in my youth, and my parents word "courting" was cringy. I feel a lot if these words are get out clauses for cheats and users.

5128gap · 15/05/2024 10:54

It fills a gap for people with situations that don't fall within any of your boxes. Often used by people who themselves either don't know how to describe the thing, maybe they're unsure, or being kept guessing; or who feel uncomfortable with the other terms because they don't quite fit. If there was no call for it, I suppose it wouldn't have become part of the language.

Scallops · 15/05/2024 10:50

I'd never use the word, but I think it can be useful.

Eg. I have a situationship (argh cringe) with a man who is much too young for what I'm really looking for, which is marriage, but we like each other and hang out and sometimes have sex. It will end when one/both of us finds an appropriate person for a real relationship.

msbevvy · 15/05/2024 10:44

This has made me feel really past it. I have never even heard of the word.

beatrix1234 · 15/05/2024 10:39

DeeCeeCherry · 15/05/2024 00:55

Its a stupid word and I cringe when I hear it. Normally means theyre having sex with someone and filled with angst because they want commitment but their sex partner doesn't. & they can't accept that. Its right up there with grown men and women actually writing "It's Complicated" as their FB status.

I don’t find it cringe at all, I define “situationship” as a relationship that can’t be define with the usual terms (dating, boyfriend, lover or partner).

BusyMintCrab · 15/05/2024 10:35

YABU and I suspect you have not had the pleasure of dating recently 🥲

Bululu · 15/05/2024 10:32

People using that word are not to be taken seriously. Yes, it seems ridiculous if an adult would use it so YANBU.

GoingOnHol · 15/05/2024 08:20

LaPalmaLlama · 15/05/2024 06:08

It’s one of those words which have become meaningless because it’s been used out of context so much- originally it seemed to imply a relationship or friendship that is highly dependent on circumstances and wouldn’t endure beyond those particular circumstances. An extreme example would be you both work on a 2 man oil rig with no Wi-Fi 🤣. Or that person you chat to for an hour when your dc has ballet, but you know if your dc quit ballet you’d never see them again.

Actors use locationship basically to.mean this. You are only together due to circumstances

StoneTheCrone · 15/05/2024 07:41

An ex of mine said he was in a situationship with the woman he'd been living with and sleeping with for nine years. Completely ridiculous.

chatenoire · 15/05/2024 07:37

Agix · 15/05/2024 07:26

I thought situationship meant a sort of non-commital relationship, half romantic in nature, but with a bunch of angst and upset and confusion involved. Usually when one likes the other and would be with them, but the other just wants sex/attention, but hasn't exactly been open about that fact - yet continues to accept or invite the sex and attention. So they're just stuck in this weird limbo not going anywhere - cant really be described as "going out".

Looking at these posts, looks like I'm wrong 🤣

That's what it means to me too... BTW I actually like it and think it describes something fairly specific

KimberleyClark · 15/05/2024 07:34

Usernamesarenoteasy · 15/05/2024 07:21

But you're not necessarily dating them?
You could describe what I have as a situationship. It's been 2 years, no commitment, none wanted on either side. We are not dating. A long term fuck buddy if you prefer.

Show quote history

I would describe that as a casual LTR. It’s casual because you have no romantic interest in each other, long term because it’s been two years.

Marblessolveeverything · 15/05/2024 07:32

It fills a function. I wasn't "going out with, in a relationship etc". So to me and my peers the phrase describes what I was in at the time 🤷‍♀️.

If you don't like the word then don't use it but you don't get to police other people's language or classification of their interactions with others.

MountCaramel · 15/05/2024 07:29

I hate it when people refer to a random person they're getting to know as their partner. It's mainly women who do this although not always, men can be just as desperate not to be single. I've seen plenty of threads on here with similar partner references.

'My partner of 5 months hates my dd, AIBU to stay with him?' The amount of threads I've read on here from these idiots, it is unbelievable. Maybe situantionship would be a better word to use then relationship in this context.

Agix · 15/05/2024 07:26

I thought situationship meant a sort of non-commital relationship, half romantic in nature, but with a bunch of angst and upset and confusion involved. Usually when one likes the other and would be with them, but the other just wants sex/attention, but hasn't exactly been open about that fact - yet continues to accept or invite the sex and attention. So they're just stuck in this weird limbo not going anywhere - cant really be described as "going out".

Looking at these posts, looks like I'm wrong 🤣

Usernamesarenoteasy · 15/05/2024 07:21

ChockysChimichanga · 15/05/2024 06:12

Totally with you on this. I hate it too. Just say you’re dating someone, fgs.

But you're not necessarily dating them?
You could describe what I have as a situationship. It's been 2 years, no commitment, none wanted on either side. We are not dating. A long term fuck buddy if you prefer.

Youcannotbeseriousreally · 15/05/2024 07:21

I’m not sure I have the energy to loathe it, but it shouldn’t be used by anyone over the age of 18.

OfcourseitsaNC · 15/05/2024 07:19

Beefcurtains79 · 15/05/2024 07:01

Why would you hate the word ‘exclusive’?
How bizarre.

Because for most people "exclusive" is the norm of where a relationship is heading and should be implicit when "going out with someone." (Using op's terms) It's used about every relationship when it doesn't need to be imo.

Interestingly, I don't mind "not exclusive", as that tells me something about your relationship is different to the norm.

To me, saying our LTR is exclusive is the same as saying my water is wet.

Beefcurtains79 · 15/05/2024 07:01

Why would you hate the word ‘exclusive’?
How bizarre.

Swipe left for the next trending thread