My poor DCat has diarrhoea. I contacted the vet who said to try giving some "digestive function paste" for a few days to see if that will help.
Most cats find it delicious, they said. Most cats will just lick it off your fingers, they said.
Dear reader, mine did not.
I'm here alone, so needs must - I popped him between my legs to hold him in place, and attempted to squirt it into his mouth.
If I tried again, I would not ever be able to recreate the particular set of circumstances, but somehow, I had my mouth open whilst trying to squirt the paste into his mouth (probably talking to said DCat, telling him to keep the fuck still it was all going to be fine) and as he flicked his head away in protest, he flicked some of the paste into my mouth.
There is a big sign on the tube: WARNING. NOT FOR HUMAN CONSUMPTION.
The ingredients is an absolutely revolting sounding "enterococcus faecium"
I tried to spit it out as fast as possible but who knows whether I managed to get rid of it all. I've mouthwashed my mouth (twice) and cleaned my teeth, but I don't know what else I can do.
A quick google suggests that human infection with enterococcus faecium bacteria has a 36% mortality rate, so that's really fun to know.
What do you reckon my chances are?