DH being unwell

What medical tests has he had? Bloods? Scans? ME? Lupus? My sympathy levels would be determined by how much effort he was making to get well, and find out what is going on.
I'd suggest he restarts therapy asap.
Tbh it sounds like he's just checking out, (especially with the sex comment!) but I'd want to ensure nothing 'medical' is going on before I decided on my next steps.

Does anyone else in the family catch tbese illnesses?

You mention drinking OP, is he usually a heavy drinker? As this can really impact your immune system and certainly won't be doing his mental health many favours either....

I would be very suspicious too.

If he's sick that often surely he's going everything he can to try & cure it, has it had full blood work and allergy testing done? (I doubt it!).

If he's depressed, again what is he doing about it - counselling, exercise, good diet etc? He doesn't sound clinically depressed if he thinks more sex will cure him.

I would tell him you can't possibly risk having sex with him incase what he has is contagious!

What antihistamine are these? I have many allergies. I take a standard otc antihistamine daily, topped up with extras when I have a non fatal attack. I have epipens too. Even after anaphylaxis and obviously steroids and hospitalisation I do not require 2 days in bed 🤔 I also take antidepressants for anxiety and depression. 2 young kids means that even with severe d&v I'm still doing the bare minimum to keep people alive (we usually all catch it together).

I've no idea wtf is going in with your dp. What were the antibiotics for, they don't hand those out like candy anymore? Has he been tested fully for autoimmune conditions? It doesn't sound right. Either he's very unwell, or he's milking it (demands for sex...)

It won’t get any better. It’s sounds like learnt helplessness.

What would happen if you did the same? Have you tried it?

Cut your losses and split now. Life is too short.

Completely agree with pp’s. He has no energy for anything useful but the poor lamb could just about manage more frequent sex. Frankly, he’s pathetic and I don’t know why you haven’t left already.

I would get out before he loses his job, tbh. Things will get a lot harder then (and not in the way he wants).

Oh that rare malaise where the cure is more sex.

Come on, OP, he's massively taking the piss. Get yourself out of there ASAP.

The thing that makes me suspicious is the fact he thinks a better sex life would help. If he hadn’t got the energy for essentials, how would he have the energy for sex?

And how does he think he’s possibly making himself attractive to you by lying about doing nothing?

In your shoes I would say “yes I do want out of the relationship” and leave him!

If he's so ill that he can't contribute to family life in any way then how would he have the energy for a better sex life? That's just an excuse to try and make you feel guilty Op, I'm willing to bet that if your sex life did improve he'd still be just the same. I've great sympathy for people who are chronically unwell but I usually find they push themselves as much as they dare to have more of a life, they don't want to lay in bed all day doing nothing

What positives does he bring to your life?! Because it sounds like you are parenting him - a sulky child who contributes nothing. I seems like your life would be easier and more pleasant without him.

This sounds so suffocating and depressing for you. I cannot believe he says this is because of not having sex as frequently!! How about , make an effort in your marriage and maybe your wife will want to have sex with you more.

I don't think you are unreasonable to find the illnesses annoying. Not only is it hard to have sympathy for people who are always ill, they also take the biscuit when they aren't helping out and even looking after themselves. But he will most certainly lose his job at some point as his work will find a reason to get rid to save themselves the hassle of constantly covering his workload.

I would generally consider if he wants to be in this relationship and also if you do. It just sounds like a wasted life IMO.

How would he look after himself, your children and the house if you were unwell? Or if you did split up and he had some custody....

He's a grown man who is dipping out of life.

Ok so what has he actually done about his health? GP? Blood tests?

I have lupus, asthma, all sorts of chronic conditions and I’m on the highest rates of PIP long term. I also have a disabled child, there’s no way I could just take myself off to bed for 2 weeks.

If he’s genuinely unwell he needs to get to the root of what’s going on. He can’t just sulk about no sex. What an arse.

Has he sought treatment for depression?