money for nothing - chucking stuff away

We really struggled when it came to emptying my MIL's house. Some things were easy, but other stuff such as nick nacks (k?) not so much.

We were fortunate that we had about 7 months but many people may only have a month if in rented accommodation, especially council /HA. I had a lot more sympathy for people who just chuck everything, stick it in their garage / house for years or just take the essentials, lock the door and hand the keys back.

DH is often my barrier, he either nags when stuff is waiting to go, or makes me doubt myself with "Are you sure?". I do try to pass most things on but it isn't always easy.

I work with someone who spends hundreds (maybe thousands!) on Shein clothes, lives alone but has 3 wardrobes full of clothes, drawers full, loads still with tags on.
When she has a clear out she just dumps it all in the bin 😭 I suggested the clothing bins in supermarket car parks/charity shop/freecycle etc. but she just made loads of excuses about having no time/it's too much hassle. If she brought it into work I'd bloody deal with it for her!

All listed separately. If I thought the people wouldn't make from clothes I'd give the lot to same person. But why would someone want size 8, 9 and 10 trainers? Anyway ill leave where they are for now

Completely agree. My DMum recently had a load of craft stuff she didn't want, I advertised it for free on a local Facebook group and she gave it to a lady who runs craft classes. She was extremely grateful and my DMum was happy it went to good use. I suppose it's harder for people who don't have social media though.

Yes but if you're having a massive tidy up or, two people with fully equipped houses moving in together, or sorting out a relative's house after they've died, it's not "just" one bag of fabric, is it?

It's10 files of old paperwork
A house load of furniture
Several wardrobes full of clothes of all ages and sizes
boxes full of toys
cupboards of food
boxes of random tools
gardening paraphernalia
full sets of crockery and cutlery
shelves of books
jewellery
car/bike
carpets/rugs/curtains, light shades, bedding, etc
and whatever else.

Most of which won't be accepted by the same place. If charity shops take them at all, which they often don't, you still have to sort them out and package them and transport them.

Perhaps that woman has already done 8 charity shops runs, 10 trips to the local recycling centre, paid for several big item collections from the council, sorted BHS to collect some of the best furniture, gone through and shredded/saved 70 years of paperwork, shared expensive or sentimental items out to the family, waited around for multiple timewasters on gumtree/fb marketplace, put stuff on ebay, taken random recycling to the big bins in the supermarkets, all after dealing with probate, trying to sell a house, whilst suffering through the grief of losing a family member, and doesn't need to be judged for being "stupid or lazy" for the one flipping bag of material she didn't know what else to do with?!? Is it really such a big issue in the scheme of things?

and as for "any school, nursery, Brownies/Cubs, afterschool club would bite your arm off" - I'm a teacher and I'd have no idea what to do if someone gave me a random load of material and buttons! tbh I'd be deeply unimpressed they were trying to offload their crap onto me.

A lot of charity shops are really picky about what they will take. Perfectly good furniture isn't taken for various reasons most commonly not adhering to current fire regs. I've tried to give away perfectly good quality furniture on free cyle and again sometimes it just isn't wanted. People are often very specific and not a little unrealistic about what they want. Many don't take electrical items as I found when trying to donate a pair of really nice table lamps. I agree that it would be nice if we could recycle more, but sometimes it just isn't possible.

Yes to all of this.

No time-wasters or charity shop hassle.

A PP mentioned Freegle. It's less well known than Freecycle, but same basic principle - to keep things out of landfill.
Full disclosure: my brother is CEO and runs the website.

Yes but they advertise they're going to be there!

I'm autistic and it takes a huge amount out of me to organise doing something like this. It's not just "two minutes to email Brownies" or whatever.

I have clothes waiting to be donated. They've been there for about 6 months. It's WAY too overwhelming to take them somewhere. I have definitely chucked things I "could" have donated.

You have no idea about people's circumstances. It's not necessarily that people are "stupid" or "lazy".

I must be lucky as our charity shops are grateful. They pick up furniture. Not painted furniture though.
I did wonder about some of the stuff on there. Makes sense now they advertise they're going to be at the tip. There's loads of craft groups not far from me would take it.
I do remember watching one with load of material and thinking wtf??

I would suspect that the show is something of a "fix" tbh

There's a charity shop around here that accepts different donations on different days. So women's clothes one day, men's clothes another and so on for kids clothes, homewares and books. I appreciate it easy to sort, but I'm not going 5 times on a week to donate, especially when it's open 10-4. One quick dash in my lunch break is usually my limit

Our local one has a “reuse and repair” area where you can leave stuff, or root around and help yourself. It’s much less guilt-inducing to leave things in there than to throw them away, and much less hassle than trying to find a new owner for them yourself.

I agree with comments about rudeness of charity shops ATM. I have a lovely shop in my village that I go to often. However, whenever I donate (I have kids so churning through stuff) it's met with "oh. Toys/clothes. Great. Stick it over there". I don't expect a fanfare to go off as I've donated my moses basket, walker etc but geez these are often items tied up with memories too which are often taken with some reluctance if not downright snobbery. It's a shame as it is quite off putting.

This^

You clearly don’t.

I live in an affluent area and it’s impossible to give stuff away.

I don’t want to sell on vinted or eBay. I don’t have time or patience. i recently cleared out DDs wardrobe and had three bin bags of at worst barely worn clothes. Most was still tagged. You could give it away on Facebook or free cycle.

Other things I can’t give away:

• old (4yrs) lap tops
• christmas bedding
• Sofa
• Solid wood internal doors that were removed during a renovation

A friend of mine refuses to throw anything away. An admirable aim. However, whenever she declutters (which is often, as she also acquires a lot of stuff she can't bear to see being thrown away by others), between posting on FB/freecycle etc, getting frustrated when people don't collect and having to do it all again, numerous charity shop trips, and trying to pass stuff on to friends who don't want it, this all takes a huge toll on her well being.

So whilst I agree we should all do a better job of trying not to just throw stuff away, there is a flip side. I guess it's key to only buy what you need/can use but that's not always straightforward either.

I've cleared out my parents and inlaws houses and had to get rid of tons of stuff. The only things I couldn't get rid of on freecycle and local facebook buy/sell pages, at the gate, to charity shops and via the scrap metal man were ancient old stained mattresses.

The appalling crap people will come to collect if it's free is astonishing. Charge a £1 and nobody comes - offer it free and they'll snatch your arm off.

It's definitely worth trying to get rid of stuff.

This! We are having a big clear out at the moment and honestly it's a nightmare trying to pass on stuff, even good quality.

There used to be a big distribution centre for a local charity near us, and you could just take everything along, but they closed down during Covid unfortunately. The people at the shop, which is still there, said that people are giving away so much stuff atm charity shops are swamped, it's just too expensive to process and sort all the stuff they are given.

Near us the nicest and most receptive shop is Oxfam, but you have to do donations a bit at a time. Another shop treated us as if we were trying to give them leprosy.

Never give good stuff away for free. If you put a realistic but lower end price on you have much less trouble. Also why not just get rid in one go. It involves much less hassle. Or if you want to let it go separately you need to make separate listings. You are deliberately making your life harder by trying to stipulate they can only have 1 thing.

Sorry I’m going to have to say you ABU. My dear departed mum was a quilter. She had two double wardrobes full to the brim of fabrics and all the rest of the gubbins. I contacted numerous organisations far and wide, and none of them wanted it.

I was so upset that all my mums treasure was likely going to landfill. She would have been sad about that.

We did manage eventually to get a crafting charity to take the stuff, but it wasn’t easy. The poor woman who picked it up only had a small car, but we squeezed it in somehow. was so relieved that it was going to good use, and with only 3 days to spare before house completion.

So no, it’s not a two minute task in my experience.

I think most people get to the point where they are desperate for space and breathing room. That box of fabric and buttons won't be the only thing being taken to the tip, it will be part of a larger clear out and the only bit you saw on TV. Often these people are hoarders or clutter collectors at least and need to get things gone instead is sitting on them until they get around to taking it to where it can be donated or listing items and trying to sell them. It's not laziness it's literally because otherwise they will end up keeping it because the volume of items they have is too overwhelming to do anything with other than discard. Convincing people that trash is treasure only stands to enforce hoarder mindsets and can really ruin your quality of life. Let people throw their junk away guilt free.

I don't think people's first thought is the landfill. It's actually incredibly difficult to get rid of things that you no longer need in some places. People have small homes and no space for stuff and need to get rid quickly so they can get on with their very busy life.

I had a toddler bed that had been used for a couple of years and was immaculate. It was only a cheap Ikea one. I took the wooden frame and slats to the "too good to tip section" at our "recycling centre" and actually got shouted at pretty aggressively: WE DON'T WANT THAT. So I put it in the wood recycling.

Haven't you seen the threads on here where people do freecycling or similar and the person doesn't turn up when the poster is waiting in, or demands delivery 20 miles away, or is just ridiculously rude: "MINE"? It's more trouble than it's worth in many cases.

People would probably give stuff if there was a quick way to match up donations with people who want them. But in reality, there isn't. It isn't as simple as making a phone call. It's a right pain in the arse and takes time and effort that people can't afford. So they put stuff in the landfill.

There are plenty of schools who wouldn't take random bags of fabric. Someone would have to go through it and no member of staff has the time for that.

It really isn't as simple as you think. People aren't lazy or stupid, they're just very busy and have had enough of wading through treacle just to get rid of stuff. So they landfill it, understandably.

Ziffit is great for books. They come and collect too.